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    Shouldn’t Sweater Over It

    | Newcastle, England, UK | Holidays, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m looking for a popular Christmas jumper (sweater) and have finally found one in my size. It is the last one in the store and I have put it in my trolley. I’m just browsing around the other clothes when a customer looks into my trolley and takes the jumper.)

    Me: “Excuse me, but what are you doing?”

    Customer: “What do you mean?”

    Me: “That jumper was in my trolley. I’m buying it.”

    Customer: “No. It wasn’t. I’ve just got this off the rail! Stop hassling me!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I just WATCHED YOU take it out of my trolley and put it into your basket. Can you please give it back so I can go and buy it?”

    Customer: “No. It’s not your colour. Anyway, I didn’t take it out of your trolley.”

    Me: “Okay. There is an easy way of solving this. Why don’t we go and visit security and get them to look at the camera? If you took it out of my trolley then you give it back. If you didn’t and I was mistaken I will pay for the jumper for you as an apology. How does that sound?”

    Customer: “HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF BEING A THIEF YOU F*****G SKANK!”

    Me: “Right. I’ve had enough of this now. I came here just for that jumper.”

    (I grab it out of the basket. The customer walks away, muttering loudly.)

    Customer: “Such a b****. Ruining Christmas for me!”

    A Minor Mistake, Part 2

    | Northland, New Zealand | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I’m the night supervisor at a supermarket. I’m in my 20s but look younger than I am.)

    Customer: “I have wine here. You’ll need to call your supervisor.”

    Me: “That’s okay, ma’am. I am the supervisor on duty tonight.”

    Customer: “Really? Surely you have to be old enough to drink it before you can sell it.”

    Me: “Well, yes. But I am old enough to drink and have been for a few years now.”

    Customer: “No, you haven’t. You look like a child.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I can assure you. I’m in my 20s. But I’ll take that as a compliment.”

    (The customer begins to rant about child labour laws.)

    Me: “Thank you. Have a nice night.”

    Customer: “GO TO BED!”

    Related:
    A Minor Mistake

    I Don’t Work Here Does Not Work Here, Part 13

    | IN, USA | Crazy Requests

    (My roommate and I are doing some shopping at a popular supermarket chain. The employees wear red shirts with white name tags. My roommate works at a day spa and hasn’t changed out of her uniform yet, which is a black dress with a bronze name tag. As we are heading to check out, an elderly woman grabs my friend’s arm.)

    Woman: “Can you tell me where the house robes are?”

    My Roommate: “I’m sorry. I don’t know.”

    (The woman is still holding on to my friend’s arm, so my friend gently pulls herself loose.)

    Woman: “Excuse me! I asked you a question!”

    My Roommate: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but I really don’t know where they are. I don’t work here.”

    (At this point, a store employee has noticed us and approaches.)

    Employee: “Can I help you ladies?”

    Woman: “This lady won’t help me find the house robes! She isn’t doing her job. I asked a simple question, and she’s ignoring me to hang out with her little friend instead. I want to speak to a manager.”

    Employee: “Ma’am, I don’t believe she works here.”

    Me: “She doesn’t.”

    Woman: “Well, then why is she wearing a name tag?”

    My Roommate: “I work at a day spa down the street and I haven’t had time to change out my uniform yet.”

    Woman: “Oh. How was I supposed to know that?”

    (She’s being very rude and I’m getting fed up with it.)

    Me: “Because her uniform looks absolutely nothing like his?”

    Woman: “Excuse me? I won’t be talked to like that.”

    Employee: “Ma’am, I apologize for this misunderstanding. If you’ll come with me, I’ll show you the—”

    Woman: “No! I want to see a manager! I want both of these girls fired!”

    My Roommate: “Neither of us work here!”

    Related:
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 12
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 11
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 10
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 9
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 8
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 7
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 6
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 5

    Retired & Extremely Dangerous, Part 2

    | Birmingham, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Money, Top

    (My dad and I have just checked out at the supermarket. There are two elderly ladies pushing shopping carts in front of us. They are walking slowly towards the exit. Another customer is walking behind them with her son, who looks about 20. The son is obviously annoyed at the fact that he cannot get past the ladies walking so slowly. He speaks loud enough so that the whole shop can hear him.)

    Son: “God, these old people! Always getting in the way. They are useless. They should be locked up so they can’t get in normal people’s way.”

    (The son’s mum doesn’t say anything to him, but I can see that my dad is getting angry.)

    Son: “They don’t deserve pensions. Let them work until they drop! They probably retired when they were 45 and are leeching off the government.”

    (My dad taps the son on the shoulder.)

    Dad: “You’re making a scene and upsetting those ladies. Calm it down, would you?”

    Son: “They probably can’t even hear me. They’re all deaf anyway. Coffin dodgers! Why do you care if they even hear me?”

    Dad: “First, I’m 67 and have worked since I was 16 years old up until my retirement two weeks ago. Second, my parents taught me to respect my elders; something your mother obviously didn’t bother to do, considering I’m giving you the verbal battering she should be. And it’s not those women who should be locked up; it’s misinformed, loud idiots like you.”

    (By now the whole supermarket has stopped and is looking over at my dad.)

    Dad: “As for leeching off the government: I get a pension, the same as those ladies and thousands of other elderly people do and it’s just over the minimum wage. Sometimes I have to decide between heating my house and eating food! You wait until you get older and retire and see how it feels then to be treated like a second class citizen by obnoxious, mouthy trash!”

    (Throughout this whole thing the son has looked shocked. Finally his mother speaks up.)

    Mum: “You’re right, totally right. It shouldn’t take a stranger to tell my son his behaviour is terrible.” *to her son* “I am completely ashamed of you. You know nothing about hardship considering you are claiming unemployment money and living rent free in my house. Now apologise to those ladies and to this gentleman.”

    (The son says sorry, grudgingly, to all three.)

    Mum: “And you see all this food and those DVDs that you wanted and I paid for just now? Well, you won’t get one piece of it.”

    (The mum unloads all the food into the old ladies carts and gives the DVDs and a large piece of meat to my dad.)

    Mum: “I hope this goes some way to making you feel valued and appreciated.”

    (They walk out and the supermarket is silent for a moment. Then one of the old ladies starts to applaud and so does the rest of the customers and staff. The next time my dad went in to get his shopping they gave him £100 worth of coupons, and now all the staff know him.)

    Related:
    Retired & Extremely Dangerous

    This Is Soda-Pressing, Part 2

    | Staten Island, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Money

    (I am standing in line when a customer comes up behind me with two boxes of about 20 cans of soda each.)

    Customer: “Can I go ahead of you?”

    Me: “You want to cut in line?”

    Customer: “No, I just need to talk to the woman in front of you!”

    (The customer in front of me doesn’t seem to know him. However ,he only has two items, and I have forgotten to grab oranges anyway, so I say sure and dash back to the produce section. When I return, I hear the tail end of their conversation.)

    Customer: “So if you let me put my soda on your bill, I can get a discount because you’re spending more than $20, and I’ll pay for the soda!”

    Customer In Front: “Okay, fine.”

    (The cashier finishes ringing the customer in front’s order, makes a note of the price, and scans the two boxes of soda. The customer in front of me pays her share, and then the cashier turns to the man with the soda, after carefully subtracting the customer in front’s cost from the total.)

    Cashier: “You owe $17.70.”

    Customer: “What? That’s ridiculous. It’s too much! I’m not paying that!”

    Cashier: “Are you kidding? You can’t do that.”

    Customer: “Just take it off!”

    Cashier: “You cut in line, held everybody up while you explained this, made a big fuss, and now you’re going to hold everybody up again while we call a manager to void this?”

    Customer: “F*** you! I didn’t do anything wrong.” *storms out*

    Related:
    This Is Soda-Pressing


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