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    Deaf To Reason, Part 2

    , | Darwin, NT, Australia | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Pets & Animals

    (I am at a supermarket checkout.)

    Me: “Hey, there! How are you this eveni—”

    Customer: “You realise there’s a man in here with a dog, right?”

    Me: “Oh? Maybe it’s a guide dog or something?”

    Customer: “No, no! It doesn’t have the guide dog harness! Really! The beast is sticking its nose in the fresh bread!”

    (She proceeds to point over my shoulder, and I decide to look. To my amusement, it is a man who had come to my primary school when I was younger, to teach us about dogs that help people with hearing issues.)

    Me: “Actually, I know that guy. The dog is actually there to help him because of his hearing being—”

    Customer: “I don’t CARE what the dog is there for! It’s not a guide dog and needs to be removed! If you’re not going to help, call your manager, please!”

    (Exasperated and a bit peeved at the customer’s behaviour, I grudgingly do so while she defiantly hold up the line.)

    Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “That MAN over there has brought some flea-ridden dog in here while he’s shopping! Get him out of here at once!”

    Me: “I tried to explain to her it’s a hearing aid dog, but she’s not listening.”

    Customer: “I was listening you little cretin! Hearing aid dogs don’t—”

    Manager: “Actually they do, and this man is well known for coming through with his dog to help with his shopping. The kids love him, we love him, and you just appear to want to deny that for sake of argument.”

    Customer: “How DARE you! I’m a paying customer!”

    (By this point my manager asked her to pay her due and leave. She does… only to come back in and flat out abuse the guy for making HER look like a fool. Cops had to be called for her to be removed.)

    Related:
    Deaf To Reason

    A Compete Idiot

    , | Liverpool, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    Customer: “Where do you keep [Competitor Store] branded beans, please?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, madam. We don’t carry our competitors lines. We only stock our own branded goods.”

    Customer: “That’s silly. You could make money selling other stores’ goods.”

    Me: “That’s an interesting concept. I wonder why no one has thought of it before?”

    Customer: “Well, it’s all the same stuff inside anyway. They just use their own brand labels.”

    Me: “In that case, would you like to try our own brand beans?”

    Customer: “Oh, no. I prefer [Competitor Brand] beans. They taste much nicer.”

    Milking The Holidays For All Their Worth

    | Kent, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    Customer: *looking at store times* “So you’re closed Christmas Day and Boxing Day?”

    Me: “Yeah.”

    Customer: “So your manager thinks it’s acceptable for you to close Christmas Day and Boxing Day? One day just isn’t enough for you greedy swines? What if I, say, need some milk?”

    Me: “Don’t worry. I will leave my family and come serve you your milk.”

    Customer: “So you should.”

    Shouldn’t Sweater Over It

    | Newcastle, England, UK | Holidays, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m looking for a popular Christmas jumper (sweater) and have finally found one in my size. It is the last one in the store and I have put it in my trolley. I’m just browsing around the other clothes when a customer looks into my trolley and takes the jumper.)

    Me: “Excuse me, but what are you doing?”

    Customer: “What do you mean?”

    Me: “That jumper was in my trolley. I’m buying it.”

    Customer: “No. It wasn’t. I’ve just got this off the rail! Stop hassling me!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I just WATCHED YOU take it out of my trolley and put it into your basket. Can you please give it back so I can go and buy it?”

    Customer: “No. It’s not your colour. Anyway, I didn’t take it out of your trolley.”

    Me: “Okay. There is an easy way of solving this. Why don’t we go and visit security and get them to look at the camera? If you took it out of my trolley then you give it back. If you didn’t and I was mistaken I will pay for the jumper for you as an apology. How does that sound?”

    Customer: “HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF BEING A THIEF YOU F*****G SKANK!”

    Me: “Right. I’ve had enough of this now. I came here just for that jumper.”

    (I grab it out of the basket. The customer walks away, muttering loudly.)

    Customer: “Such a b****. Ruining Christmas for me!”

    A Minor Mistake, Part 2

    | Northland, New Zealand | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I’m the night supervisor at a supermarket. I’m in my 20s but look younger than I am.)

    Customer: “I have wine here. You’ll need to call your supervisor.”

    Me: “That’s okay, ma’am. I am the supervisor on duty tonight.”

    Customer: “Really? Surely you have to be old enough to drink it before you can sell it.”

    Me: “Well, yes. But I am old enough to drink and have been for a few years now.”

    Customer: “No, you haven’t. You look like a child.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I can assure you. I’m in my 20s. But I’ll take that as a compliment.”

    (The customer begins to rant about child labour laws.)

    Me: “Thank you. Have a nice night.”

    Customer: “GO TO BED!”

    Related:
    A Minor Mistake


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