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    Age Or Gender Gap

    | Gloucestershire, UK | At The Checkout, Family & Kids

    (A woman and her daughter are standing by the cigarette counter where I am working.)

    Child: “Mummy, can I have a chocolate bar?”

    Mother: “Okay. Pick the one you want and give it to the man.”

    (There is a long, tense pause as the child and I look at one another.)

    Child: *in a very condescending tone* “Mummy. I think it’s a lady.”

    Me: “She is correct.”

    The Tower Of Babble

    | New Zealand | At The Checkout, Language & Words

    (Note: I am of Asian descent.)

    Me: “Good morning!” *starts scanning groceries*

    Customer: “Ni hao!”

    Me: “Oh, I’m not Chinese.”

    Customer: “Konnichiwa!”

    Me: “I’m not–”

    Customer: “Shalom!”

    Me: “Sir, that’s not even–”

    Customer: “Namaste!”

    *silence*

    Customer: “I know so many languages! So many!

    Curiosity Feeds The Cat

    | Victoria, Australia | Pets & Animals

    Customer: “Can you help me please?”

    Me: “Yes, of course, what can I do for you?”

    Customer: “Well, I want to buy some food for my cat, but mine doesn’t look like the one on the packet. Can I still feed it to him?”

    Me: “Yes sir, of course.”

    Customer: “Wow, really? Thanks!”

    From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 2

    | Washington, USA | Family & Kids

    Me: “Can I help you?”

    Child: “I don’t get it.”

    Me: “What?”

    Child: “Are you old or just simple?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Child: “Cause my mom said everyone who works at [supermarket] is either old or simple.”

    (The mother comes running behind him, picks him up, and runs off.)

    Related:
    From The Mouth Of Babes

    Early Bird-Brained

    | New Zealand | Top

    (I am at work doing a before-opening clean of the trolley handles and checkout counters.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, I’d like to buy these now please.”

    Me: “Um, ma’am, I’m not a checkout operator.”

    Customer: “Yes, but I’m here now and I’m running late, so can you just run these through the scanner for me?”

    Me: “Ma’am, it’s five thirty. There are no checkout operators as we don’t open for another hour and a half.”

    Customer: “Oh, I was wondering why there wasn’t anyone in the Deli, but that’s okay because I went back behind the counter and got the ham out the freezer.”

    Me: “Ma’am, you’re not allowed to do that. How did you get in? The doors are locked until the security guard gets here.”

    Customer: “Oh, I broke the window because I thought your door wasn’t working. Can you run these through for me now?”

    Related:
    Bird Brained
    Bird Brained, Part 2
    Bird Brained, Part 3
    Bird Brained, Part 4
    Bird Brained, Part 5

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