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    Fair Trade Waylaid

    | United Kingdom | Food & Drink

    Customer: “Excuse me, where is the tea?”

    Me: “Right this way.”

    Customer: “Do you have any tea that isn’t fair trade?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “Do you have any tea that isn’t fair trade? It’s more expensive!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I think you are missing the point.”

    Customer: “It’s more expensive! That isn’t very fair to me!”

    Read Her Lips

    | Brisbane, Australia | At The Checkout, Money, Top

    (I am scanning a customer’s order when I notice she is buying a $30 lip-gloss that is also being given away with a magazine).

    Me: "Miss, if you’d like to buy [magazine] for $7.20, you get this exact lip-gloss free inside."

    Customer: "But I don’t want the magazine. I just want the lip-gloss."

    Me: "I understand, but even if you give the magazine away, you still get the lip-gloss for $7.20 and save $22.80."

    Customer: "Do I look like a charity? I’m not going to give away a $7 magazine. Haven’t you heard of saving money?"

    Me: "Well yes, what I’m saying is you can save money by buying the magazine–"

    Customer: "Stop trying to rip me off and scan my lip-gloss!"

    (I ring up her lip-gloss for $30 and she storms off. The next customer puts the same magazine on the counter.)

    Next Customer: "I don’t want it either, but I have half a brain."

    Age Is Only A Social Security Number

    | Oklahoma City, OK, USA | Politics

    (I am ringing up a middle-aged man.)

    Customer: “You go to school, son?”

    Me: “Yes sir, I’m a college student.”

    Customer: “Good good. Be sure to start paying into social security. I’m going to need it soon.”

    Self-Diservice Checkout

    | Sheffield, UK | At The Checkout

    (A customer is getting frustrated at the self-checkout.)

    Customer: *shouting* “Miss! Miss!”

    Me: *with another customer* “One minute, please, I’m helping this lady right now.”

    Customer: *goes red in the face* “Miss!”

    Me: “Give me a minute, please. I’ll come to you next.”

    (The angry customer starts swearing and hitting the machine. The customer I am working with politely offers to wait while I go to the other customer. I apologize and go to the angry customer.)

    Me: “Can I help you?”

    Customer: “The stupid machine stopped working!”

    Me: “An item you have scanned isn’t on the metal bagging pad. Mind if I take a look?”

    Customer: *grunts*

    (I find that all but three items of a 30+ item shop has not been scanned. I explain the situation.)

    Customer: “Oh God, no! I can’t do all this again!”

    Me: “No problem! I’ll just put it all through for you.”

    Customer: “No! It won’t save me any money that way!”

    Me: “You don’t save any money with self-scan checkouts. I mean, you still pay for it all.”

    Customer: “This is stupid! I shouldn’t have to pay for it all if I’m doing your job for you!”

    Translation Is No Small Feat

    | Alabama, USA | Language & Words

    Me: “Hi, thank you for calling [supermarket]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Hey, can I speak to someone in the ladies wear department?”

    Me: “That’d be me. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “I bought some scrubs at another store and I was wondering what the ‘S/CH’ on the tag means?”

    Me: “It means it’s a small.”

    Customer: “But what does the ‘CH’ mean?”

    Me: “It’s the Spanish abbreviation for small.”

    Customer: “But ‘CH’; isn’t that American?”

    Me: “The letters C and H are used in a lot of different languages, including Spanish.”

    Customer: “Oh, how strange!”


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