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    When Customers Actually Give A Jam

    | Montpellier, France | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (At the checkout counter, a mother and her son are behind an elderly lady in line. The kid keeps bumping on the elderly lady with their shopping cart.)

    Elderly Lady: “Excuse me, young lady, could you please tell your son to stop pushing your cart on me?”

    Mother: “No way! You must not upset children! That’s how they get traumatized!”

    (The mother indeed does nothing to stop her son. Suddenly, another customer—young man standing in line behind them—takes a jar of jam, opens it, and pours it on the mother’s head.)

    Mother: *shocked and dripping with jam* “Are you CRAZY? What the h*** are you doing?”

    Young Man: “Listen, lady. You see, I was also raised like this, with no limits. I did everything and whatever I wanted… and I still do!”

    (The mother quickly leaves the store with her son, angry and covered with jam. For the record, the elderly lady insisted to pay for the jam.)

    Not So Profound Profanities

    | UK | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Language & Words, Rude & Risque

    (While waiting at the self-checkout tills, I overhear this conversation.)

    Customer #1: “This bloody till won’t work! Why won’t it scan my coupons?”

    (At this, an employee appears to help.)

    Employee: “Here we are, ma’am. You just put your coupons in this slot here and it should work.”

    (Suddenly, a middle-aged woman with a young daughter who are using another self-checkout pipes up.)

    Customer #2: *to Customer #1* “Excuse me, could you please refrain from using language like that in public? I don’t want my daughter picking up bad habits”.

    Customer #1: “Oh, of course!” *to Customer #2′s daughter* “I’m sorry, sweetie. Never ever use the word you heard me use just now…”

    Customer #2: “Thanks!”

    (Customer #2 smiles and gets back to scanning her items, but Customer #1 isn’t done speaking.)

    Customer #1: “…unless you’re really f***ed off, that is!”

    Aisle Always Need Directions, Part 4

    | Australia | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I’m stacking shelves next to the chip display when this happens. Note: The display is very large thus hard to miss.)

    Customer: “Hi, I was wondering if you could help me?”

    Me: “Of course. What can I do for you, ma’am?”

    Customer: “I was wondering what aisle the chips are in?”

    (I’m a little stunned, as she is standing right next to them.)

    Me: “Um, just right there.” *points to chips*

    Customer: “No! I asked what AISLE they were in.”

    Me: “Um, ma’am you’re standing right—”

    Customer: “FOR F***’S SAKE! CAN YOU PLEASE JUST TELL ME WHAT AISLE THE CHIPS ARE IN?”

    Me: “A-Aisle 7.”

    Customer: “Thank you! Now was it really that hard?”

    (The customer arrives back at the display a few minutes later.)

    Customer: *grabs chips* “You could have f***ing told me I was standing right f***ing next to them! HONESTLY! What is this world coming to?!”

    Me: *speechless*

    Related:
    Aisle Always Need Directions, Part 3
    Aisle Always Need Directions, Part 2
    Aisle Always Need Directions

    Scan-dalous

    | Kerang, Victoria, Australia | At The Checkout, Rude & Risque

    (I’m working a cash register at a supermarket.)

    Me: “G’day, how’s it going?”

    Customer: “Yeah, pretty good, thanks.”

    (I begin to scan her items.)

    Me: “So do you have any plans for the rest of your day?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I hope to get laid for the first time in three years!”

    (I look over to see she had amongst her groceries: several punnets of strawberries, dipping chocolate, oysters, condoms, and personal lubricant.)

    Customer: *beaming*

    (I return to scanning her items in silence. She pays and gathers her items.)

    Me: “Have a great night.”

    Customer: “Oh, believe me, I will!”

    Unintentional Prejudice Is Still A Kick In The Teeth

    | Tennessee, USA | Bigotry, Language & Words

    (I’m a British exchange student working at a Tennessee supermarket. I have a very obvious accent. I’m stocking the shelves when I need to place an item out of my reach.)

    Me: “Hey, [coworker], can you give me a hand?”

    Customer: “Oh, my! Your accent is amazing! Are you English?”

    (I nod.)

    Customer: “Oooh, ooh… can you say…” *in a very bad Cockney accent* “Can I please get some help setting up this fish and chips so I can retire for tea time?”

    Me: “Erm? Sorry, I won’t.”

    Customer: “Well, why not?! I thought all you British people liked tea and fish and chips.”

    Coworker: “If I were to ask you why you aren’t wearing blue jean overalls or ending every sentence with “Y’all”, would you be offended?”

    Customer: “Well, of course I would!”

    (Both my coworker and I raise our eyebrows at her. We watch as her face turns red with realization.)

    Customer: “O-oh… I’m sorry.”

    (The customer quickly walks to the next aisle, face still red as a beet.)

    Coworker: “Sorry about that. We get a lot of people like that around here.”

    Me: “Well, at least she didn’t make a comment about my teeth.”

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