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    Sticking It To Sticklers For Stickers

    | Ottawa, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Top

    (I’m a supermarket cashier and have 5 minutes left on my shift. I therefore put my “Closed” sign up as I finish with my current customers. However, a customer walks right past the sign and starts putting his items on the belt. Seeing as he only has a few items, I let it slide and serve him.)

    Me: “How are you today, sir?”

    Customer: “Fine…”

    Me: *begins ringing up his items*

    Customer: “Hey, my bread is supposed to be 50% off! It rang up full price!”

    (The customer shows me the pink “Reduction” sticker our store uses to discount certain items. This sticker was on the bottom of his bread.)

    Me: “Oh! No worries, sir. It’s an easy fix! Sorry about that.”

    (I proceed to void the bread, hit the “Reduction” key on my register, and then scan the bread again.)

    Customer: “How can you be a cashier if you’re going to miss obvious things like that! You shouldn’t be in the customer service industry if you’re going to be friggin’ oblivious! Gah, this is why I hate this store!”

    Me: “Sir… I’m only human. Human beings make mistakes and miss things sometimes, just like you missed my closed sign when you walked up to my cash. I, however, didn’t bother calling you out on it. Your total is $11.03.”

    Customer: *sheepishly looks at my sign* “…Debit.”

    Me: *big smile* “Have a WONDERFUL evening, sir.”

    Fiery Temperaments Can Lead To Explosive Situations

    | London, England, UK | Bizarre, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (In the UK the 5th of November is a holiday usually celebrated with fireworks, Since my birthday falls around this time, I usually do a fireworks party to celebrate. I’m 21 and have been doing firework displays since I was 18 and have done several pyrotechnic courses. I’m at the supermarket and have selected around £250 worth of fireworks. Note: Staff Member #1 is helping a gentleman in another aisle, while Staff Member #2 is sorting my fireworks out.)

    Staff Member #1: *to the gentleman* “Any fireworks for you today, sir?”

    Gentleman: *to Staff Member #1* “THESE ARE DANGEROUS AND SHOULD BE LOCKED UP AND DESTROYED!”

    Staff Member #2: *to me* “That’s £250. Since you have spent over £200, I can offer you a [name of firework].”

    (At this point, the gentleman turns on me.)

    Gentleman: *to me* “You little vandal! I bet you’re not even 18 and you’re going to blow someone up. We can only be lucky if it’s yourself.”

    Me: “Uh, right dude. I do have a pyrotechnic qualification, and I’m 21.”

    Gentleman: “Don’t lie to me! I know your sort!”

    (Suddenly, he lunges towards me. In the process, he knocks my fireworks off the counter onto the floor and proceeds to stamp on them. Now, anyone who knows fireworks knows that they are pretty stable, but chucking them around and stamping on them is a REALLY bad idea.)

    Me: “Are you f***ing crazy?! And you think I’m dangerous?!”

    (The gentleman shouts at me for a further two minutes before trying to leave, having destroyed the £250 worth of fireworks I just bought.)

    Me: “Hey, get back here! You just destroyed my fireworks!”

    Gentleman: “Too f***ing right I did!”

    (Thankfully, security managed to intercept him before he left. He was arrested and charged with damage to property and forced to pay me £300 in Compensation. The supermarket even supplied the fireworks for free. Best Birthday EVER!)

    When Customers Actually Give A Jam

    | Montpellier, France | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (At the checkout counter, a mother and her son are behind an elderly lady in line. The kid keeps bumping on the elderly lady with their shopping cart.)

    Elderly Lady: “Excuse me, young lady, could you please tell your son to stop pushing your cart on me?”

    Mother: “No way! You must not upset children! That’s how they get traumatized!”

    (The mother indeed does nothing to stop her son. Suddenly, another customer—young man standing in line behind them—takes a jar of jam, opens it, and pours it on the mother’s head.)

    Mother: *shocked and dripping with jam* “Are you CRAZY? What the h*** are you doing?”

    Young Man: “Listen, lady. You see, I was also raised like this, with no limits. I did everything and whatever I wanted… and I still do!”

    (The mother quickly leaves the store with her son, angry and covered with jam. For the record, the elderly lady insisted to pay for the jam.)

    Not So Profound Profanities

    | UK | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Language & Words, Rude & Risque

    (While waiting at the self-checkout tills, I overhear this conversation.)

    Customer #1: “This bloody till won’t work! Why won’t it scan my coupons?”

    (At this, an employee appears to help.)

    Employee: “Here we are, ma’am. You just put your coupons in this slot here and it should work.”

    (Suddenly, a middle-aged woman with a young daughter who are using another self-checkout pipes up.)

    Customer #2: *to Customer #1* “Excuse me, could you please refrain from using language like that in public? I don’t want my daughter picking up bad habits”.

    Customer #1: “Oh, of course!” *to Customer #2′s daughter* “I’m sorry, sweetie. Never ever use the word you heard me use just now…”

    Customer #2: “Thanks!”

    (Customer #2 smiles and gets back to scanning her items, but Customer #1 isn’t done speaking.)

    Customer #1: “…unless you’re really f***ed off, that is!”

    Aisle Always Need Directions, Part 4

    | Australia | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I’m stacking shelves next to the chip display when this happens. Note: The display is very large thus hard to miss.)

    Customer: “Hi, I was wondering if you could help me?”

    Me: “Of course. What can I do for you, ma’am?”

    Customer: “I was wondering what aisle the chips are in?”

    (I’m a little stunned, as she is standing right next to them.)

    Me: “Um, just right there.” *points to chips*

    Customer: “No! I asked what AISLE they were in.”

    Me: “Um, ma’am you’re standing right—”

    Customer: “FOR F***’S SAKE! CAN YOU PLEASE JUST TELL ME WHAT AISLE THE CHIPS ARE IN?”

    Me: “A-Aisle 7.”

    Customer: “Thank you! Now was it really that hard?”

    (The customer arrives back at the display a few minutes later.)

    Customer: *grabs chips* “You could have f***ing told me I was standing right f***ing next to them! HONESTLY! What is this world coming to?!”

    Me: *speechless*

    Related:
    Aisle Always Need Directions, Part 3
    Aisle Always Need Directions, Part 2
    Aisle Always Need Directions

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