Manners Are Not Just For The Young

| Birmingham, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Top

(I’m the only person in the queue for the self-service tills. A woman has finished scanning her items, but is still packing them. A man comes up behind me. I look young for my age, and am dressed casually as it’s my day off. I also have red streaks in my hair from a charity day the day before.)

Customer: “Are you queuing?”

Me: “Yes, I am.”

Customer: *pointing at where the woman is* “Well, are you wanting that one or not?”

Me: “I’m waiting for the woman to finish.”

(Instead of waiting behind me as I expect, he pushes past, goes up to the woman’s till, and starts trying to scan things through. The system won’t let him as the woman hasn’t taken her bags yet. After a few unsuccessful attempts he barges back past me and rejoins the queue.)

Customer: “F****** kids.”

Me: “At least this f****** kid had the manners to wait until the lady was finished.”

Customer: *blushes*

Being Franc About The Dollar

| France | Geography, Money, Tourists/Travel

(It is when the French Franc is still in use. I get called by a cashier who has a problem with American tourists.)

Tourist: “This woman won’t accept our money!”

(The tourist is waving about a wad of US dollars.)

Me: “Well, she can’t, sir, since you’re trying to pay in US dollars.”

Customer: “So?”

Me: “Well, you’re in France. We only accept French Francs.”

Customer: “I don’t understand! All the other third world countries we’ve been to accept dollars.”

Me: “France isn’t a third world country.”

Customer: “…”

Me: “There’s a bank right down the street. We’ll hold on to your items until you come back with Francs. Or you can pay with a visa card.”

Customer: “No, we’re not coming back; you’re not getting our dollars!”

Politeness To Customers Is A Good Rule Of Thumb

| Tamworth, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre

(I’m checking out a quiet, elderly customer.)

Me: “That’ll be £11.25, please.”

(The customer hands me a £20 note.)

Me: “Thank you.”

(I turn for a few seconds to sort his change, and get his receipt.)

Me: “Here’s your—”

(The customer is waving his partially amputated thumb in my face.)

Customer: “I lost that in the war you know! They gave me £30 for that! I bought my first bike with it!”

Me: “Th-that’s lovely, sir. Here’s your receipt and change; have a nice day!”

Digging A Conversational Hole A Rabbit Could Fit Into

| Germany | At The Checkout, Rude & Risque, Top

(I am checking out a young couple’s weekly groceries. I overhear their exchange.)

Girl #1: *puts massive pack of batteries onto the conveyor belt*

Girl #2: “Wait, that’s really expensive! What do we even need batteries for?”

Girl #1: *glances nervously at me* “They’re for the TV remote.”

Girl #2: “Oh, I didn’t realise the batteries in the remote had run out. Do we need that many though? I mean what else do we have that even uses batter— Oh…”

Snapping A Customer Who Snaps

| Wigston, England, UK | At The Checkout, Technology, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

(I am in line at my local supermarket. The customer ahead of me is complaining. I am a cyclist, wearing a helmet with a camera.)

Customer: “What the f*** is taking so long!?”

Employee: “I’m sorry, sir, I will try to get this done as quickly as possible.”

Customer: “I haven’t got time for this; do you know what this is?”

(The customer backs off into a karate position.)

Me: “Excuse me.”

(I turn on the camera on my helmet.)

Me: “You do know that you’re being video recorded from multiple places. Being nice to the staff is voluntary, but threatening them will get the police.”

Customer: “F*** off, or you’ll get dead!”

(The customer pulls out a knife, still in the wrapper. I kick it out of his hand, and he runs off. Between the supermarket and me, we have everything needed for a prosecution. My shopping was free!)

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