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    It’s Going To Be A Bonus Year

    | NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (It’s New Year’s Eve, and I’m a customer in the supermarket waiting in the line for self-checkout. This supermarket has a bonus card, but you have to scan it AFTER you scan all your items. A customer is at the self-check in front of me, buying milk and pretzels. The lines are really long, and the self-check attendant is helping someone else.)

    Customer: “Why doesn’t this work!?” *waves her bonus card all over the scanner*

    Me: “You have to scan your groceries first, hit ‘Finish’ and ‘Pay’, and then it’ll ask for the bonus card.”

    Customer: “It’s not working!” *keeps waving card*

    Me: “That’s because you have to scan your groceries first.”

    (She scans her items, then starts jabbing the ‘Help Needed’ button immediately.)

    Customer: “See, the pretzels are supposed to be only $2, and it’s ringing up $4! This is wrong!”

    Me: “You haven’t scanned your bonus card yet. You need to hit ‘Finish’ and ‘Pay’ first, then scan the card, and it’ll take the money off.”

    Customer: “Do you even know how to use this?!”

    (I lean over, hit ‘Finish’ and ‘Pay’, and then the kiosk says ‘please scan your bonus card’. She does, and the discount applies.)

    Me: “See, $2 for pretzels.”

    Kiosk: “Please take your receipt.”

    Customer: “Now where’s my receipt? Stupid machine!” *stares in the wrong place*

    Me: *points* “Your receipt prints up there.”

    (The customer glares at me, grabs her receipt and storms off to the bagging area, where she stares menacingly at me while she’s bagging her items and putting her change away. To add insult to injury, she puts her purse in the bagging area so I can’t start scanning my items.)

    Customer: *finally leaves without saying thanks*

    Me: “You’re welcome! Happy New Year to you, too!”

    Her Manners Are Phone-y

    | Tampa, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Top

    (I work at a very busy supermarket and sometimes we don’t have enough baggers to keep up with all of the registers and help people out to their cars. I have a long line and the customer is talking very loudly on her phone at my register. I don’t have a bagger.)

    Me: “Hello! How are you today? Will plastic be alright?”

    (The customer continues talking on her phone, completely ignoring me.)

    Me: *a little louder* “Ma’am, will plastic be okay with you today?”

    (She continues to ignore me. So, I start ringing through her large order and then proceed to bag it all in plastic, which is my usual default in situations like this. After everything is bagged…)

    Me: “Okay ma’am, your total comes to $193.55. Do you have any coupons today?”

    Customer: *to her phone* “Hold on a second.” *to me* “Didn’t your mama ever tell you that it is rude to talk to people when they’re on the phone?! Honestly! I swear you people don’t have any manners anymore! Oh, and I wanted everything in paper. Double bagged and pack it all light!”

    (She then turns back to her phone and continues talking to her friend, complaining how rude I was and how slow I am moving. However, Customer #2, who is behind her in line, is a regular of mine. She winks at me and then speaks up loudly.)

    Customer #2: “Honestly! The manners of some people. I mean didn’t her mama ever teach her to get off the phone while in line at the grocery store?” *turns to Customer #1* “And if you have a problem with how she bagged your stuff then you need to answer the sweet young lady when she was talking to you. At least when she finishes putting herself through college she will have the experience to put up with b****** like yourself as she moves to the top of a company.”

    (Customer #1 gets completely enraged and starts screaming how she will complain on me and will get me fired. She then grabs her groceries, still mostly in plastic and storms out of the store.)

    Customer #2: “If she calls and complains you let me know, darling. I’ll set the story straight. You keep up the good work!”

    Never Get A Law Student Wind-ed Up

    | Scotland, UK | Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month

    (I work as a customer service agent part time whilst obtaining my law degree. It has been a long day of shouting customers.)

    Me: “So, sir, I really can’t discuss this with you as it’s all down to our claims team.”

    Caller: “But you know it’s with them; you must be able to tell me what I’m getting.”

    Me: “Sir, you’re asking me to comment on a legal issue. I’m not trained in this department, so all I can say is that someone will be in touch within the next two days.”

    Caller: “I’m not satisfied with that answer. You’re going to tell me what’s happening right now, or you’ll be losing a customer, and if I have my way, your job.”

    (This is followed by a 3 minute rant, heavy on the swears. Eventually, I get tired of it and manage to get a word in.)

    Me: “Sir, the trolley was blown into your car?”

    Caller: “Yes, but I, I’m not satisfi—”

    Me: “As in by the wind?”

    Caller: “Yes, bu—”

    Me: “In that case, what has happened is classed as an Act of God. The store has made the best effort to make sure that trolleys aren’t left around the car park. However, if one person does leave the trolley and then that trolley is blown into a car, we can’t be deemed responsible, because 1) we took the utmost care to make sure that the carts were in the trolley bays, and 2) we don’t control the wind. Frankly, you wouldn’t be entitled to anything, but [brand] does not like bad advertising, so you’ll get something but you are going to have to wait for that till Thursday. Are you satisfied with the answer now, sir?”

    Caller: “…Yes.”

    (He then ends the call. Only time I’ve been glad for my degree choice.)

    Phoned Then Owned

    | Forster, NSW, Australia | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in the deli department of my local supermarket, and am calling out the numbers of the tickets.)

    Me: “Number 24? Does anybody have ticket number 24? Anybody at all?”

    (At this point, I think someone might have grabbed two tickets by accident off the ticket dispenser and decide to skip ahead to the next number.)

    Me: “Oh well, then… number 25?”

    (The customer with ticket 25 starts ordering what she wants, when suddenly the customer with ticket 24 storms over. She has clearly been on the phone.)

    Customer #24: *huffed voice* “Excuse me? I was before this lady. I was number 24!”

    Me: “Just one second, ma’am. I’ll serve you after this customer.”

    (Customer #25 smiles shyly at me.)

    Customer #24: “Well, I was before this lady!” *puts a rude smirk when referring to her* “Clearly, because I was number 24!”

    Me: “Well, I was calling your number for a good while before I started serving this lady. You weren’t even at the deli counter.”

    Customer #24: “I WAS STILL FIRST!”

    Me: “Ma’am, if you just let me serve this customer quickly, I’ll get to you in just a—”

    (Suddenly, Customer #25 decides they’ve had enough of Customer #24 and speaks up in my defense.)

    Customer #25: “Well, how the bloody h*** is he supposed to know he’s skipped someone when nobody answers his calls?! How’s he supposed to know you’re off in another aisle on the phone? You know it’s people like you that make his day so much worse!”

    Customer #24: *stomps off*

    Arabian Plights

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Top

    (I have a rather unusual name that leads people into thinking I’m from overseas. Not helping matters is that I have a slight accent because my mother is from New Zealand.)

    Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

    Customer: “Fine, thanks.”

    (She looks at me and reads my name tag.)

    Customer: *slowly, while giving me the thumbs up* “I am very good, a-okay.”

    Me: *confused* “Well, okay then.”

    Customer: “Where are you from?”

    Me: “I live in [nearby neighbourhood].”

    Customer: “Where. Were. You. Born?”

    Me: “I was born in Australia, ma’am. I’ve lived here my whole life.”

    Customer: “Don’t lie to me! That is not an Australian name; that’s a foreigner name!”

    Me: “It is a bit unusual, isn’t it? My parents found it in a baby book. Customers have told me it means ‘brunette’ in Arabic.”

    Customer: “Ah hah! That’s where you’re from. That’s why you have that ridiculous voice! First you blow up our soldiers, and now you’re working in our stores!”

    (She suddenly snatches a bag of biscuits from the counter and throws it at me. I’m too surprised to do anything, but thankfully my manager sees the whole thing and comes over.)

    Manager: *to me* “Go take a nice, long break, and let me finish up here.”

    Customer: “Yeah, get lost girlie! This nice Australian man is going to help me.”

    Manager: *smiles* “Ma’am, I was born in Iran and immigrated to Australia when I was three.”

    (The customer proceeds to scream in anger and throws something at my manager. She was thrown out of the store!)

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