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    Wanted A Refund, But Scratch That

    | Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

    (A familiar looking lady approaches the front counter, but I can’t remember where I’ve seen her before. She speaks briefly to a colleague that is manning the front counter, who comes over to me.)

    Colleague: “This lady wants to return this DVD because she claims it doesn’t work. Take a look at the disc.”

    (I take a look at the disc, and it is severely scratched.)

    Me: “Well, that’s clearly why it’s not working. Did she say she bought it like that?”

    Colleague: “Yeah. She said she opened it and the disc was already like that.”

    (All of our DVDs come with security seals which are unlocked when purchased, so I know this isn’t the case. I look at the DVD title in our system, and notice we have not sold any in the last four weeks. I remember this same customer has tried to return DVDs in the same condition before.)

    Me: “Hello, ma’am. How are you today? Now, were you the customer that was after a refund for this DVD?”

    Customer: “Yes, it doesn’t work.”

    Me: “Okay. Now did you have a receipt for it? That way I can clear up a few things.”

    Customer: “No, I don’t have a receipt! I didn’t think I’d need one!”

    Me: “Okay, that’s fine. Now when did you purchase this DVD?”

    Customer: “Last week! Why is this even an issue?”

    Me: “Well, I have just checked our records. It shows that we haven’t sold a copy of this DVD is over a month. So, either you’re lying to me, or you’ve stolen it. In either case, you are definitely not getting a refund, and I suggest you leave this store immediately. I’ll be sure to ring all neighbouring stores, informing them that you’re attempting to get a refund on a product that you may not have even bought. Is that all for today?”

    (The customer snatches the DVD, and runs out of the store. I ring the store closest to us. Two hours later, I receive a phone call saying they caught her, and she is wanted for 12 other charges!)

    The Navi Ending Story

    | Hobart, Tasmania, Australia | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Movies & TV, Top

    (An elderly couple is doing their grocery shopping and among their items is the ‘Avatar’ DVD.)

    Me: “Oh, you are buying Avatar. I haven’t seen it yet, but I’ve heard really good things about it. ”

    Elderly Woman: “Oh, that’s nice. Our grandchildren told us to watch it. ”

    (We keep talking about the movie for the rest of the transaction.)

    Elderly Woman: “I’ll tell you what: if we don’t like it, we’ll come back in and give it too you so you can watch it.”

    (Next day…)

    Elderly Man: “We started watching Avatar yesterday. We didn’t get very far into it as we weren’t enjoying it much. We are going to try finishing it tonight.”

    (A couple of days later…)

    Elderly Man: “Well, we tried watching it twice. We really didn’t like it. If are you working tomorrow morning, I’ll bring it in for you.”

    Me: “I’m afraid I’m only working in the afternoon.”

    Elderly man: “Okay, we’ll leave it at the front desk for you to collect when you come in.”

    (I buy them a box of chocolates as a thank you and leave it at the desk with my co-worker.)

    Co-worker: “The elderly couple left the DVD for you, and they were ecstatic with the chocolates. The lady hadn’t received anything for Mother’s Day, so she said it made her week!”

    Worst Superhero Name Ever

    | Orlando, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (I work at the meat/seafood counter of my store. I greet my first customer of the day.)

    Me: “Can I help you, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like a six lb. rib roast, please.”

    Me: “Certainly. Let me go and pass your order on to the butcher.”

    (I go back into the cutting room. The butcher says it will take about ten minutes because of the other order he has to fill first. I go back to the counter.)

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, he can have your order ready in ten minutes. If you want, you can do some more shopping and come back later. We’ll set your order up here on the counter when it’s ready for you.”

    Customer: “Are you being a smart-a**?!”

    Me: “Um… excuse me?”

    Customer: “Are. You. Being. A. Smart-a**!?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t understand what the problem is.”

    Customer: *in a mocking tone* “Oh, look at me! I’m Mr. Big Shot Meat Guy! I’ll put your order right up here on the counter! Right here, all nice and neat, because I’m Mr. Big Shot Meat Guy!”

    Me: “Uh… that’s just what we do, ma’am. If someone places an order we set it on the counter for them to come and pick up when it’s ready.”

    (She gives me the dirtiest look I’ve ever seen, and stomps away.)

    Co-worker: “Welcome to work, Mr. Big Shot Meat Guy!”

    It’s Not Spanish, But Just Roll With It

    | PA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Language & Words

    (I am working the self-scanning machines.)

    Customer: “I bought two of these Chavra, but it won’t take my coupon. I’m supposed to get 75 cents off of two Chavra, but the self-scan won’t take it.”

    (Chavra is a small container of spreadable cheese. When I look at the customers order on the screen, Chavra isn’t listed.)

    Me: “You said you got two Chavra?”

    Customer: “Yes, that’s correct. See, it’s right over here.” *points to two packages of Charmin toilet paper* “I got two Charmin. ‘Chavra’ in Spanish means Charmin.”

    Me: “Ma’am, this coupon is for cheese.”

    (The customer takes a long look at the coupon, and then laughs.)

    Customer: “I guess my Spanish isn’t what it used to be.”

    Offer Of A Lift Is Uplifting

    | The Netherlands | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Food & Drink

    (It has been a very snowy day, and the pavements are dangerously slippery. I’m rounding up payment for a regular, but rather old and fragile customer, who has trouble walking.)

    Customer: “Well, I hope it’s not too bad outside.”

    Me: “You’re walking?”

    Customer: “Yes, my children are out of town, and I do need my shopping done.”

    Me: “My shift ends in about ten minutes, and I’m by car. If you want to wait for a bit, I can bring you home.”

    (My boss overhears this.)

    Boss: “Round up your shift; it’s quiet enough. You can go and bring her home immediately.”

    (I take the customer home. One week later, the customer comes in with a home-made apple pie.)

    Customer: “You went to the trouble of bringing me home, so I baked you this. Hope you enjoy it!”

    (And we did!)

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