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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Arabian Plights

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Top

    (I have a rather unusual name that leads people into thinking I’m from overseas. Not helping matters is that I have a slight accent because my mother is from New Zealand.)

    Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

    Customer: “Fine, thanks.”

    (She looks at me and reads my name tag.)

    Customer: *slowly, while giving me the thumbs up* “I am very good, a-okay.”

    Me: *confused* “Well, okay then.”

    Customer: “Where are you from?”

    Me: “I live in [nearby neighbourhood].”

    Customer: “Where. Were. You. Born?”

    Me: “I was born in Australia, ma’am. I’ve lived here my whole life.”

    Customer: “Don’t lie to me! That is not an Australian name; that’s a foreigner name!”

    Me: “It is a bit unusual, isn’t it? My parents found it in a baby book. Customers have told me it means ‘brunette’ in Arabic.”

    Customer: “Ah hah! That’s where you’re from. That’s why you have that ridiculous voice! First you blow up our soldiers, and now you’re working in our stores!”

    (She suddenly snatches a bag of biscuits from the counter and throws it at me. I’m too surprised to do anything, but thankfully my manager sees the whole thing and comes over.)

    Manager: *to me* “Go take a nice, long break, and let me finish up here.”

    Customer: “Yeah, get lost girlie! This nice Australian man is going to help me.”

    Manager: *smiles* “Ma’am, I was born in Iran and immigrated to Australia when I was three.”

    (The customer proceeds to scream in anger and throws something at my manager. She was thrown out of the store!)

    The Less-Errant Of Two Evils

    | The Netherlands | Health & Body, Language & Words

    (I’m a cashier at a supermarket and am checking out a customer. All cigarette packages have a warning on them.)

    Customer: “I’d like [brand] cigarettes please.”

    (I grab a package.)

    Customer: “Oh no, not that one. I don’t like the text on it.”

    Me: “Oh, you mean the, ‘Smoking is deadly’ text?

    Customer: “Yes, get me one with a different text.”

    (I grab another package.)

    Me: “Okay… how about, ‘Smoking leads to a slow painful death’?”

    Customer: “No, I don’t like that one either.”

    Me: “Is, ‘Smoking increases the chance to get lung cancer’ fine, then?”

    Customer: “Ah yes, that one is good!”

    Branding Is All Smoke & Mirrors

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior

    (The Australian government has recently made it law that all cigarette packages must be plain with no branding or colouring. A lot of people are angry over this and are taking it out on the cashiers.)

    Customer #1: “…and can I get a pack of [brand cigarettes]?”

    Employee: “Sure!”

    (The employee fetches them and leaves them on the counter while she finishes ringing up the customer’s other items.)

    Customer #1: “Hey! I said that I wanted [brand]. What’s this s***?!”

    Employee: “That is [brand]; it’s just a different package.”

    Customer #1: “Don’t you lie to me, you b****!”

    (He then grabs them from the counter and hurls them at her, but they bounce off her and land on the ground. She calmly bends down to pick them up.)

    Me: *to Customer #1* “Hey! What the h***, man?”

    Employee: *turns to me* “It’s okay.” *turns to Customer #1* “Sir, can I show you something?”

    (She gestures for the customer to look at the cigarettes.)

    Employee: “This writing right here says [brand] Optimums, see? And this number right here says 25. So, this is [brand] Optimums 25s, which is what you asked for. Have a nice evening.”

    (He storms out, and the next customer steps up. He’s been fiddling with his basket and looking impatient while the employee was dealing with the first customer.)

    Customer #2: *quietly* “You’re doing a very good job dealing with jerks like that. I’ve never seen such patience and poise in a young woman such as yourself; they are very admirable qualities to have.”

    Employee: *near tears* “Thank you.”

    Customer #2: “Don’t let vicious people get you down. You’re just trying to do your job.”

    (The manager, who had just returned from dealing with Customer #1 outside, overheard this gave Customer #2 his groceries for free for being a decent person!)

    Counting To Eternity

    | Birmingham, England, UK | Awesome Customers, Bizarre, Top

    (I am working on the tills, and pretty bored when a transaction equals £12.34.)

    Me: “That is…” *glances at screen* “…ha! One, two, three, four!”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “Sorry, twelve-thirty four… one, two three, four. It just made me smile.”

    Customer: “Wow! Has this ever happened before? That’s amazing.”

    (As I rarely work the tills, this is actually the first time this has happened to me.)

    Me: “This is the first time. We’ll remember this for the rest of our lives.”

    Customer: “This is an unbreakable bond!”

    Me: “Stronger than marriage, some would say!”

    Customer: “You can’t divorce out of this!”

    Me: “It’s eternal!”

    (By now another customer behind is staring at us like we are mad.)

    Customer: “I’m going to have to tell all my friends about this! Can you sign my receipt?”

    Me: *signs his receipt*

    Customer: *walks away, grinning*

    Causing Infractions With Customers

    | PA, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Money

    Customer: “Give me about half pound of the all-beef salami.”

    Me: “Sure thing, ma’am.”

    (I slice up the salami. I’m usually pretty good at eyeballing the weight of a product, but when I put the sliced salami on the scale, it’s pretty underweight.)

    Customer: “I think that will be enough. Is that less than a half pound?”

    Me: “Yes, it’s about four-tenths.”

    (The customer gives me a blank look.)

    Me: “Four-tenths of a pound.”

    Customer: “I don’t understand what that means.”

    (The customer looks to her husband for help, but he looks as perplexed as she does and just shrugs.)

    Customer: “Are you sure it’s less than half a pound?”

    Me: “I’m positive, ma’am.”

    Customer: “I don’t know…”

    Me: “A half is five-tenths, right? Four-tenths is less than five-tenths.”

    Customer: “I don’t understand what you’re talking about.”

    Me: “Okay, uh, well… what’s worth less, forty cents or fifty cents?”

    Customer: “There’s no way all that salami only costs fifty cents!”

    (She did eventually buy the four-tenths of a pound of salami at the listed price, though I doubt either she or her husband were convinced it was less than half a pound.)


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