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    Being Franc About The Dollar

    | France | Geography, Money, Tourists/Travel

    (It is when the French Franc is still in use. I get called by a cashier who has a problem with American tourists.)

    Tourist: “This woman won’t accept our money!”

    (The tourist is waving about a wad of US dollars.)

    Me: “Well, she can’t, sir, since you’re trying to pay in US dollars.”

    Customer: “So?”

    Me: “Well, you’re in France. We only accept French Francs.”

    Customer: “I don’t understand! All the other third world countries we’ve been to accept dollars.”

    Me: “France isn’t a third world country.”

    Customer: “…”

    Me: “There’s a bank right down the street. We’ll hold on to your items until you come back with Francs. Or you can pay with a visa card.”

    Customer: “No, we’re not coming back; you’re not getting our dollars!”

    Politeness To Customers Is A Good Rule Of Thumb

    | Tamworth, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre

    (I’m checking out a quiet, elderly customer.)

    Me: “That’ll be £11.25, please.”

    (The customer hands me a £20 note.)

    Me: “Thank you.”

    (I turn for a few seconds to sort his change, and get his receipt.)

    Me: “Here’s your—”

    (The customer is waving his partially amputated thumb in my face.)

    Customer: “I lost that in the war you know! They gave me £30 for that! I bought my first bike with it!”

    Me: “Th-that’s lovely, sir. Here’s your receipt and change; have a nice day!”

    Digging A Conversational Hole A Rabbit Could Fit Into

    | Germany | At The Checkout, Rude & Risque, Top

    (I am checking out a young couple’s weekly groceries. I overhear their exchange.)

    Girl #1: *puts massive pack of batteries onto the conveyor belt*

    Girl #2: “Wait, that’s really expensive! What do we even need batteries for?”

    Girl #1: *glances nervously at me* “They’re for the TV remote.”

    Girl #2: “Oh, I didn’t realise the batteries in the remote had run out. Do we need that many though? I mean what else do we have that even uses batter— Oh…”

    Snapping A Customer Who Snaps

    | Wigston, England, UK | At The Checkout, Technology, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

    (I am in line at my local supermarket. The customer ahead of me is complaining. I am a cyclist, wearing a helmet with a camera.)

    Customer: “What the f*** is taking so long!?”

    Employee: “I’m sorry, sir, I will try to get this done as quickly as possible.”

    Customer: “I haven’t got time for this; do you know what this is?”

    (The customer backs off into a karate position.)

    Me: “Excuse me.”

    (I turn on the camera on my helmet.)

    Me: “You do know that you’re being video recorded from multiple places. Being nice to the staff is voluntary, but threatening them will get the police.”

    Customer: “F*** off, or you’ll get dead!”

    (The customer pulls out a knife, still in the wrapper. I kick it out of his hand, and he runs off. Between the supermarket and me, we have everything needed for a prosecution. My shopping was free!)

    No Manners In Line Is Out Of Line

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Top

    (I am a customer. I approach a cashier, with my children in tow.)

    Me: “Howdy, do you have any cooking sherry? I didn’t see any on the floor.”

    Cashier: “Yes, we keep it up here.”

    Customer Behind Me: “Are you really holding up the line for alcohol?”

    Me: “You mean, am I a paying customer who waited in line, without harassing the other store-goers, and is now waiting for a product that is only attained at the front of the store?”

    Customer Behind Me: “Ugh, disgusting. And your kids are standing right there, too. You’re disgusting.”

    My Six-Year-Old Daughter: “She is not disgusting! You are, for being so rude! Didn’t your mommy teach you any manners?! Be patient and wait your turn just like everybody else!”

    (The next customer in line behind the rude customer joins in.)

    Customer #2: “Seriously, stop being a jerk, and wait you’re turn.”

    Customer Behind Me: “F*** this!”

    (The customer behind me walks out.)

    Cashier: “About time someone told him off. He’s a jerk to everyone he sees.”

    My Six-Year-Old Daughter: “That guy needs to learn some manners, or he’s not gonna have any friends!”

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