Literally Going Nowhere

| Phoenix, AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology, Uncategorized

Me: “Hi ma’am, what can I help you with today?”

Customer: “It’s this stupid GPS watch that I bought. What a big waste of money!  It doesn’t even work.”

Me: “What’s the problem with it?”

Customer: “It shows the time, but not now how far I ran. I was running on the treadmill for over 30 minutes!”

The Cup Is Definitely Half Empty

| North Syracuse, NY, USA | Uncategorized

(A woman and her twelve year-old son are buying hockey equipment.)

Me: “Okay, you’ll also need a cup & supporter for him.”

Customer: “How do I know what size he needs?”

Me: “The supporter is based on his waist size. Do you know his waist size?”

Customer: “Yes, but how do I know what size the cup should be for him?”

Me: “Well, you’d know better than me! I’d recommend the teen size.”

Customer: “No. If he’s anything like his father, he’ll need an extra-small.”

Ironically, He Works With Balls…

| Sparks, NV, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “I’m going to be pitching for my softball team, and I need a cup and jockstrap.”

Me: “Sure thing, they’re right over here.”

Customer: “How do you know what size to get?”

Me: “The jockstraps are measured by waistband size. All the cups are the same size.”

Customer: “Those cups are all huge! There’s no way I can fill one of those up!”

Me: “…”

It (Almost) Never Hurts To Check

, | Baltimore, MD, USA | Top

Customer: “Let me see that knife in the case.”

Me: “Here ya go.”

Customer: “I don’t think this knife is sharp enough.”

Me: “Really? ”

(The customer pulls the blade across his palm, slicing his hand open and spilling blood all over the floor.)

Customer: “I guess it is.”

Me: “Would you like some paper towels?”

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