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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Check Out The Living Minerals Aisle

    | North Carolina, USA | Pets & Animals, Technology

    (I work in the fishing department at a sporting goods store. We usually get calls asking our opinion on what equipment to use.)

    Caller: “Hi, is this the fishing department?”

    Me: “Yes, sir. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “I need to know the best rod and reel to use to catch a rocktail fish.”

    Me: “Where is it you are trying to catch it?”

    Caller: “Oh, it’s a fish in Runescape. So, what should I use?”

    (Note: I don’t play Runescape, but know that it’s a computer game.)

    Me: “Sir, are you asking advice on what rod/reel to catch a digital fish?”

    Caller: “Oh… I didn’t really think this through, did I?”

    More Pressing Issues

    | Fayetteville, AR, USA | Rude & Risque

    (I am a female employee at a sporting goods store. A elderly male with a noticeable limp comes in.)

    Me: “Hello, can I help you find anything?”

    Customer: “Yes. I need something for support.”

    Me: “Oh, yes, we keep all of the supporters on this wall.”

    (I indicate the various supporters: knees, shins, etc. He begins to look at the different kinds, before picking up a simple knee strap that is basically a thin velcro band. He opens and examines it.)

    Customer: “So this just straps around?”

    Me: “Yes, sir. It’s got velcro on the back so you can adjust the size and fasten it.”

    (There is a long pause as he looks like he’s trying to figure out how it works.)

    Customer: “So, how does this protect the testicles?”

    (I promptly direct him towards the cups and find a male employee to help him.)

    Some Behavior Is Beyond Brief

    | Rye Town, NY, USA |

    (I am a saleswoman who had to organize the men’s underwear about 10 minutes before a customer walked in.)

    Me: “Hello ma’am, can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I need [pair of underwear] in a size medium.”

    Me: “I am terribly sorry, but we are out of that particular size in that brand.”

    Customer: “No, I do not believe you. Can you not check?”

    Me: “I can assure you I organized the underwear not too long ago, but I would love to check for you. If we do not have it, I can order it for you.”

    (I recheck, and the underwear is not there.)

    Me: “I am sorry, ma’am, would you like me to order it for you?”

    Customer: “No, I will go somewhere else.”

    (As she leaves, she passes by my manager.)

    Customer: *whispering loudly* “Do you know your female employee spends her free time in men’s underwear?”

    Manager: “Do you know I make her?”

    One Mother, One Cup

    | Springfield, MO, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Money

    Customer: “Hi I need to return this.” *hands over an opened and clearly worn jock cup*

    Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, this is a completely non-returnable item.”

    Customer: “I called and you said your return policy is 30 days with receipt.”

    Me: “That’s except for jocks and mouth-guards. Cashiers tell you at the time of purchase that they’re completely non-returnable.”

    Customer: “Well, I didn’t understand. So, there’s nothing you can do for me?”

    Me: “I’m sorry. It’s store policy based on our health-code.”

    Customer: “Well, how was I supposed to know that my little boy would have such a big wee-wee?” *grabs her very embarrassed-looking son and leaves*

    Literally Going Nowhere

    | Phoenix, AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    Me: “Hi ma’am, what can I help you with today?”

    Customer: “It’s this stupid GPS watch that I bought. What a big waste of money!  It doesn’t even work.”

    Me: “What’s the problem with it?”

    Customer: “It shows the time, but not now how far I ran. I was running on the treadmill for over 30 minutes!”


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