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    Coupon Is Off

    | IL, USA | Crazy Requests, Wild & Unruly

    Customer: “I want to use this Groupon for my massage today; your manager said I could.”

    (I look at the Groupon and it is for a competitor. I explain this to her.)

    Customer: “Well, your manager said I could use this…”

    (I call the manager who says that she claimed it was expired, not for a completely different store.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I spoke with my manager and he agreed to let you use an expired Groupon, not one for a completely different location.”

    Customer: “This is f****** ridiculous!!! I’m calling the BBB and putting you on Facebook!”

    Me: “Well, ma’am. I’m so sorry but I cannot allow you to use this but I can give you our member rate today and give you a free half hour massage on your next visit which is $80 in savings.”

    Customer: “But I already paid for this Groupon and I WANT TO USE IT NOW!”

    Me: “I understand your frustration, ma’am, but I cannot allow you to use this at this clinic as it is not for our store but for our competitors.”

    Customer: “Well you just don’t want me to come in here. You hate people like me don’t you? You’re racist!”

    (I am confused as both the customer and I are white.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m going to need you to watch your language and calm down. Again, I cannot let you use this at this store but I can offer you up to $80 in savings and you will be paying less than you originally paid for the Groupon.”

    Customer: “No! I ALREADY PAID FOR THIS F****** THING! I’M GOING TO THE BBB AND PUTTING YOU ON FACEBOOK! YOU PEOPLE ARE WORTHLESS AND EVIL!”

    Me: “Ma’am, can I ask you just one question? Do you get mad when you go to Walmart and they don’t let you use Target Gift Cards?”

    Customer: “…”

    Me: “…”

    Customer: “Oh… well… just, NEVERMIND, YOU HEATHEN!”

    (The customer walked out and never did get her massage. I also never heard from the BBB or corporate about being ‘blasted’ on Facebook.)

    A Very Shallow Pool Of Intelligence

    | AR, USA | Extra Stupid

    (The phone rings.)

    Customer: “I need to get sand for my pool filter.”

    Me: “Okie doke, how much sand do you need?”

    Customer: “I don’t know.”

    Me: “If you look on your filter, it will usually tell you how much it uses.”

    Customer: “I’m looking at it right now. It doesn’t say how much it needs.”

    Me: “Does it say anything on it at all?”

    Customer: “Yes it has a serial number.”

    Me: “What is it?”

    Customer: “300-L-B-S.”

    (I pause.)

    Customer: “Does that help?”

    Me: “I will have your sand ready to pick up in 15 minutes.”