Featured Story:
  • Always Time For A Rhyme
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  • Muddling Through

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (Our company helps as an outsource development company, building games with other companies that don’t have enough manpower to complete them. These particular clients have never made a game before, have no art or gaming experience, and therefore have been incredibly difficult to work with. We have been revising a single icon for the interface for two days now, and both sides are becoming frustrated.)

    Client: “It’s still MUDDY. The concept wasn’t muddy! Why do you have so much brown in there?! I can’t read any of it.”

    Me: “The concept was clearer because it’s in black and white. You asked us to incorporate every color we’ve used in this so far. I don’t feel it’s muddy. We’ve reduced the only browns, the shields, down by almost 50%. I don’t understand what is reading as ‘muddy’ to you.”

    Client: “The brown of everything! The brown clothes and brown hair and brown skin and brown shield—”

    Me: “Wait. Are you telling me the hair and clothes read as brown to you?”

    Client: “YES. I don’t understand why this is so difficult!”

    Me: “The hair is bright red and the clothes are dark green. They are nowhere near brown. They are the exact colors as used by the character in the game.”

    Client: “Ugh, whatever. I can’t see that! I’m COLORBLIND.”

    Me: “So… let me get this straight. You are complaining about overuse of brown, when you can’t see colors properly?”

    Client: “Right. Look. Just make it read better. Make the swords bigger.”

    Me: “… I need a drink.”

    Wasn’t Sold On What He Was Told

    | NC, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    Me: “Thank you for calling [company] technical support. What can I help you with today?”

    Customer: “I’m trying to send a report to [company], but when I try I’m getting this message about my account being expired. Hang on; let me read it to you. ‘Your account is expired. Please contact the sales department to renew.’ Is this something you can help me with, or do I need to call sales?”

    Me: *facepalm*

    A Case Of The Computer Cooties

    , | Dublin, Ireland | Top

    (The office downstairs sometimes calls up to us for tech support. They’re not too great with computers.)

    Guy from downstairs: “I think one of the computers has a virus.”

    Me: “Ok, which one?”

    Guy: “The one in the middle of the office.”

    (This seems strange, as I remember that they don’t have any computers in the middle of the room.)

    Me: “Have you moved the computers recently?”

    Guy: “Yeah, we put it in the middle of the office so the other computers wouldn’t catch the virus!”

    (I went downstairs and a disconnected desktop stands in all its glory in the middle of the room. It didn’t have a virus.)