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    All Signs Point To No

    , | Oregon, USA |

    (A customer pulls up and parks in a handicapped spot in front of the store.)

    Me: “How can I help you?”

    Customer: “I’ll take a fresh squeezed orange juice.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry sir, we just cleaned our juicer and the chemical that we use had to dry or else it’s toxic. We won’t be able to squeeze any juice until tomorrow.”

    Customer: “What the f***? This is the second time this has happened.”

    Me: “Well, we clean it a half hour before we close–”

    Customer: “You should put up a sign!”

    Me: “Oh, um. Well, I’ll mention that to my manager–”

    Customer: “PUT UP A SIGN!”

    Me: “Sir, I don’t have the authority to do that, but I’ll–”

    Customer: “JUST PUT UP A SIGN!”

    Me: “Oh, and you’re parked in a handicapped zone.”

    Customer: “THEY SHOULD–”

    Me: “Yes, they have a sign up, sir.”

    …And Fruit Hates You Right Back

    | Monterey, CA, USA |

    Me: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I’d like a Coke.”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, we make smoothies here. Have you looked at our menu?”

    Customer: “You don’t have any Coke?”

    Me:¬†”No, sir. Just fruit drinks.”

    Customer:¬†”Oh. Well, I’ll have a coffee then.”

    Me: “Sir, we don’t serve coffee here. Just smoothies.”

    Customer: “What kind of drink shop is this?!¬†I come in here trying to get a drink, and you don’t have anything!”

    Me:¬†”We’re a smoothie shop, sir. What kind of fruit do you like?”

    Customer: “I HATE FRUIT!” *storms out of the store*

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