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    May Contain Traces Of Messiah

    | Davie, FL, USA | Food & Drink, Religion

    Me: “Welcome to [Smoothie Store]! How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Good morning to you! I need the large blueberry please.”

    Me: “Alright sir, Ill get those started for you. What kind of free boost would you like in your smoothies?”

    Customer: “You know what my favorite and the best boost of all is?”

    Me: “No sir, I don’t. I’m sorry.”

    Customer: “Jesus.”

    Me: “Oh, haha. You would like a Jesus boost?”

    Customer: “Why yes, I like to boost my day with Jesus everyday! mAre you filled with the light, have you accepted Christ into your life?”

    Me: “Yes sir, I have. So what boost would you like in your smoothie?”

    Customer: “I told you already.”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, looks like were fresh out of Jesus today.”

    Customer: “Oh that’s too bad. I’ll just have the whey protein, then.”

    And That’s How The Minnesota Vikings Came To Be

    | Richmond, VA, USA |

    Customer: “Hmm. Are you tribal?”

    Me: “Um, no. I am white.”

    Customer: “No, you are seriously tribal.”

    Me: “Well, I’m part Cherokee…”

    Customer: “No, that’s not it.”

    Me: “I’m part Norwegian?”

    Customer: “THAT’S IT!”

    When You’ve Lost The Passion Fruit

    | Hertfordshire, UK |

    Me: “Hi, can I help?”

    Customer: “I’d like a wheat grass shot and an apple, carrot, ginger and orange juice.”

    Me: “Would you like size one, two or three?”

    Customer: “One.”

    Me: “Would you like any extra boosters?”

    Customer: “No. Stop trying to sell me things.”

    Me: “That’s ¬£*.**. Do you have a loyalty card?”

    Customer: “I’m not even loyal to my WIFE.”

    Me: “…”

    On The Bright Side, She Never Gets Brain Freezes

    | Sterling, VA |

    (The lunch rush has just come and gone, and now the early release seniors from the local high school are trickling in.)

    Me: “Hi, welcome to ***.”

    Blonde customer: “Mmm… I think I’ll try the Mahalo Mango today.”

    Redhead customer: “Oooh. I heard mangoes are kinda bitter.”

    Blonde customer: “Ew… like, can I get that without mango then?”

    Me: “Would you rather the Power Pineapple? It’s the same smoothie, just pineapple instead of mango.”

    Blonde customer: “No, I want to try something new… so, yeah. Mahalo Mango without the mango.”

    Me: “Okay… what would you like instead of the mango?”

    Blonde customer: “Um… can I get pineapple?”

    A Rainbow Of Flavor

    | Detroit, MI, USA |

    Customer: “What does the mango smoothie taste like? Does it taste like oranges?”

    Me: “It tastes like…mangoes?”

    Customer: *exasperated* “No, mango is a COLOR. I want to know what it TASTES like.”

    Me: “Sir, mango is a fruit. The mango smoothie tastes like mango.”

    Customer: “Ugh, whatever. What does the strawberry one taste like?”

    Me: “It tastes like strawberries.”

    Customer: “I’ll take one of those!”

    Coworker: *to me* “You should’ve told him it tasted like red.”


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