( I am providing a guided skiing tour of the mountain.)

Customer: “So, where are we going next?”

Me: “Well, do you see that lift over there?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “Well, we’re going to head up that one until we reach the top of the mountain, and then–”

Customer: “Are you kidding? It’ll be cold up there, and we’ll just have to ski back down again!”

(Note: this is in summer when the customer comes in.)

Customer: “I would like to buy three ski passes for today.”

Me: “Miss, it’s 90 out and the snow melted months ago.”

Customer: “But I thought you guys made it?”

(A guest was locked out of their condo, but since they booked through a separate company, I couldn’t let him back in.)

Customer: “So…there’s no way you have a master key that can let me in?”

Me: “No. Our keys don’t work for other company’s units.”

Customer: “But..I have a key. It just doesn’t work.”

Me: “We can’t make new keys for units we don’t manage.”

Customer: “So…if there’s a fire….”

Me: “In that case, you’d want to get OUT of the building.”

Customer: “Right….”

Ski Resort Guest: “Hey! You guys really go all out.”

(Me with puzzled look on face)

Ski Resort Guest: “You guys have that robotic bear crossing underneath the lift just as we went over.”

Me: “Sir, we don’t have any robotic bears.”

Ski Resort Guest: “What? You mean that was a real bear?”

Me: “Yes sir.”

Ski Resort Guest: “Ahhh. We were gonna hike down but I think we’ll just take the lift.”

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