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  • Maybe He’s A Werewolf

    | Calgary, AB, Canada | Bizarre

    (I work in a shoe store, men’s department.)

    Me: “Good morning, just let me know if you have any questions today.”

    Customer: “Thank you. I am looking for shoes.”

    Me: “Well, you are in the right store. What kind of shoes?”

    Customer: “Shiny grey.”

    Me: “You mean a silver shoe?”

    Customer: “Exactly! But let’s just call it shiny grey.”

    Should Have Paid Attention In School

    | Illinois, USA | At The Checkout, Money

    (A customer places shoe boxes on the counter and stares at me.)

    Me: “All set then?”

    Customer: “Oh, yes. School.”

    Me: *slightly confused* “Uh, yeah! Yeah I can’t believe school is starting already!”

    Customer: *chuckles* “Heh… yeah. School.”

    Me: *more puzzled* “Yeah, I know. So soon!”

    Customer: “Where’s my 20% off?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Your website said if that if I said the word school in your store I get 20% off my purchase.”

    Me: “I don’t think you read correctly, ma’am. We don’t have any sort of sale like that going on.”

    Customer: “It says that if I say school I get a discount!”

    Me: “I think you were supposed to text school and get a coupon code sent to your phone.”

    Customer: “Well, school. Now give me my 20%.”

    Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, I just can’t do that. We’re not running that kind of sale.”

    Customer: “Well you should fix the internet, then! This is ridiculous!”

    A Bit Grey With Anatomy

    | United Kingdom | Extra Stupid

    (We sometimes lose shoes and are stuck with one which we can’t sell. When this happens and it is a man’s shoe for the right foot, we sell them very cheaply to a war veteran who only has one leg. On this day, the veteran has just paid for one. There is a man behind him in the queue.)

    Customer: “Why does he get those shoes so cheaply?”

    Me: “Because he is only buying the right shoe, not a pair.”

    Customer: “Why would he want just one?”

    Me: “Because he only has one leg. He lost the other in combat.”

    Customer: “Yeah, but even if he lost one leg, he’s still got two feet, right?”

    Branded As Stupid

    | St. Augustine, FL, USA |

    Customer: “There is a brand that they sell only in Europe. Do you have that brand?”

    Me: “It’s a shoe brand?”

    Customer: “Yeah.”

    Me: “And they sell it only in Europe?”

    Customer: “Yeah.”

    Me: “Do you know where you are?”

    Customer: “Yeah.”

    Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, we just don’t have that brand.”

    Baaah-laboring The Obvious

    , | Baton Rouge, LA, USA |

    Customer: “Do you have any kid’s shoes?”

    Me: *thinking she’s referring to a similar-sounding brand* “Yes. They are right over here.”

    Customer: “No, not these. Kid’s shoes!”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. The youth department is over here.”

    Customer: “No, not kid’s, kid’s!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, are you looking for the brand, or kid’s shoes?”

    Customer: “Kid’s!”

    Me: *showing her the brand* “Is this what you are looking for?”

    Customer: “Yes. Do you have them in kid’s?”

    Me: “No, we do not have kid’s sizes.

    Customer: “I am not looking for kid’s sizes! I am looking for some to fit me!”

    Me: *confused* “These are our adult shoes…the youth section is over there.”

    Customer: “Do you even know what a kid is?”

    Me: “No?”

    Customer: “A kid is a baby goat! I am looking for shoes made out of baby goat skin!”

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