November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Indentured Shoe-vitude

| North Bay, ON, Canada | Spouses & Partners, Top

(I overhear an older married couple.)

Husband: “What are we doing here?”

Wife: “What do you see all around you?”

Husband: “Shoes.”

Wife: “That’s right.”

Husband: “Crap.”

Sabotage By Numbers

| Boston, MA, USA | Uncategorized

(We have a rewards program that mails out free coupons for shopping. We need to verify each customer’s account in order for them to earn their coupons. There are two customers in my line, one young woman, and behind her one middle aged woman.)

Me: “Do you receive your coupons?”

Customer 1: “Yeah, I think so.”

Me: “Alright, what’s your phone number?”

Customer 1: “Oh, it’s–”

Customer 2: “You don’t have to give that, you know.”

(Customer 1 looks confused.)

Me: “Well, we need to look you up so that you get credit for the purchase, and get your discounts. I can look it up by mail or email if you’d prefer. Which do you get?”

Customer 1: “I get–”

Customer 2: “Nope. Don’t do it. That’s how they find you. They find your pin numbers and bra size that way.”

Customer 1: “I…Um.”

Me: “We don’t need your bra size.”

Customer 1: “Well, let’s just skip it. I can’t remember what I get. It’s fine.”

(I finish the transaction, and Customer 2 approaches.)

Me: “So I’m guessing you don’t get coupons either.”

Customer 2: “Of course I do. I just didn’t want her to use them all before I got here. And I’m a 34B.”

Mothers Can Be A Daily Grind

| New Hampshire, USA | Family & Kids, Uncategorized

(We were giving away free packages of instant coffee for promotional reasons. Each package was about the size of a sugar packet.)

Customer: "What’s that?"

Me: "It’s a free package of instant coffee. Would you like one?"

Customer: "How does it work?"

Me: "Just put it in a cup, and mix it with water."

Customer: "Is the cup, and water inside the package?"

Customer’s Mother: "You’re a moron."

Maybe He’s A Werewolf

| Calgary, AB, Canada | Bizarre, Uncategorized

(I work in a shoe store, men’s department.)

Me: “Good morning, just let me know if you have any questions today.”

Customer: “Thank you. I am looking for shoes.”

Me: “Well, you are in the right store. What kind of shoes?”

Customer: “Shiny grey.”

Me: “You mean a silver shoe?”

Customer: “Exactly! But let’s just call it shiny grey.”

Should Have Paid Attention In School

| Illinois, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Uncategorized

(A customer places shoe boxes on the counter and stares at me.)

Me: “All set then?”

Customer: “Oh, yes. School.”

Me: *slightly confused* “Uh, yeah! Yeah I can’t believe school is starting already!”

Customer: *chuckles* “Heh… yeah. School.”

Me: *more puzzled* “Yeah, I know. So soon!”

Customer: “Where’s my 20% off?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am?”

Customer: “Your website said if that if I said the word school in your store I get 20% off my purchase.”

Me: “I don’t think you read correctly, ma’am. We don’t have any sort of sale like that going on.”

Customer: “It says that if I say school I get a discount!”

Me: “I think you were supposed to text school and get a coupon code sent to your phone.”

Customer: “Well, school. Now give me my 20%.”

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, I just can’t do that. We’re not running that kind of sale.”

Customer: “Well you should fix the internet, then! This is ridiculous!”