Featured Story:
  • Always Time For A Rhyme
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  • Try To Keep A Poke Face

    | WI, USA | Rude & Risque

    (An old man comes up to purchase a pair of shoes. I am nearby while my manager rings it up.)

    Manager: “Now, hold onto your receipt, because you can use it anytime to get another pair half price!”

    Customer: “Oh, I doubt I’ll get to use it. I’ll probably be dead before I need new shoes again.”

    Manager: “Oh, don’t say that! You’ve got to stay positive!”

    Customer: “Ah, when you get to be my age, all the ‘positive’ gets used up. First you can’t poke it no more, and then it just goes downhill from there!” *leaves*

    The Great Will Of China

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

    (A customer tries on a pair of shoes. As she is about to pay, she asks about getting a tax refund.)

    Customer: “Can I get duty free for this?”

    Me: “No, you cant get duty free for these because you have to spend over $300 and these are only $149.”

    Customer: “So, I can get duty free?”

    Me: “No, sorry, these are only $149. You need to spend over $300 to be able to claim your tax at the airport.”

    Customer: “So, I can only wear these in Australia? I can’t wear these in China?”

    Me: “Yes, you can wear these in China, but you wont be able to claim your tax back because they are not over $300.”

    Customer: “So, I can’t take these to China?”

    Other staff: “Yes you can wear them in China, but they’re not duty free.”

    Customer: “So, I can wear them in Australia, and to the airport, but not in China?”

    Me: “No, you can wear them anywhere.”

    Customer: “How much tax can I get back?”

    Other staff: “You can get 10% tax back but you cant get it for these ones because it is less than $300.”

    Customer: “So, I can wear them to China?”

    Me: “Of course.”

    Customer: “Okay!”

    A Real Idio-IT

    | BC, Canada | Technology

    (I work as the technical specialist for a shoe store my family owns. I’m currently in a storage room off the front entrance on the computer.)

    Customer: “Hi, excuse me? What’s your return policy?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I’m not entirely sure. Someone at the front desk could help you better.” *points to front desk*

    Customer: “Oh, I thought this was the front desk.” *looks around* “You don’t really have much in here.”

    Me: “Not really. Sorry, I’m just the IT person.”

    Customer: *angry* “You just said that so you don’t have to help me!”

    Me: *speechless*

    Customer: “You just made that up so you didn’t have to get up and help me! Yeah, right…’I-T’. Like that’s a real job!” *leaves*

    Show Me The Color Of Your Money

    | Ontario, Canada | Money

    (I work in a shoe store. Sometimes we have the same style shoe in different colors and the colors vary in prices. A customer is having a problem with the listed price.)

    Customer: “Why are the green and black shoes different in price? You should give me the price of the green one for the black one.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but the prices listed on the shoe are the final price. Different colors can be different prices, because they are a different shoe.”

    Customer: “You can’t have a different price for a different colored shoe! That’s racist!”

    Their Parenting Is Nothing To Rave About

    | Baytown, TX, USA | Family & Kids

    (A customer that I served earlier this particular day walks in with small child of about one year. The child starts screaming and the mom puts the child down to run around unattended.)

    Customer: “I need to return these shoes.”

    Me: “Okay, was there anything wrong with them?”

    Customer: “No, I just thought I had more money than I really did.”

    Me: “Oh okay, that’s fine.”

    Customer: “Yeah, I need that money so I can go to raves!”

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