November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

This Family Business Is A Joke

, | Calgary, AB, Canada | Bad Behavior, Funny Names, Theme Of The Month

(I work at a well known shoe store. We wear tags bearing the name of the store, but not our names. A customer comes in and looks at my tag.)

Customer: “So… your name’s Rockport?”

Me: “Yep, it’s a family name. My dad started the business, and he wants me to learn it from the ground up.”

Customer: “Really? That’s so admirable!”

(I gesture to a few coworkers wearing the same name tag.)

Me: “Yup, all the Rockport kids learn the business this way.”

Customer: “All of you? Wow!”

(I can’t quite believe she hasn’t caught on by this point, so I take pity.)

Me: “What can I help you find…?”

Going Gaga For Shoes

, | ACT, Australia | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(A young woman comes bursting into the store, flustered. She runs around all the aisles, frantically, at least three times. I watch her and go to walk over to help her, but she beats me to it and runs straight up to me, panting, sweating, red-faced, and a look of stress in her face.)


Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t even know where you could even buy Lady Gaga’s shoes to start with. We don’t sell them here though…”


(She then bolted out the door, as if she was running from a pack of lions. The other customers and I just stood there for a moment to take in what just happened.)

The Other Shoe Never Dropped

, | Calgary, AB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Theme Of The Month

(I’m at work in a store that exclusively sells shoes. Sometimes when people get unspecific about what they want, I like to joke with them about it.)

Me: “Hi there! Were you searching for anything in particular today?”

Customer: “Shoes.”

Me: *dead-pan* “Sorry, we’re out of those.”

Customer: “WHAT?”

(The customer looks seriously angry and tries to storm out before I chase her down and tell her that we do, in fact, have some shoes left.)

Selling Foot In Mouth Disease

| Minneapolis, MN, USA | Bad Behavior

Me: “Hello! How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I’m looking for some shoes for work and I heard you had comfortable ones.”

Me: “We certainly do. May I ask what your profession is?”

Customer: “Oh I don’t have a profession right now. I just need something I can wear to work in retail until I get a real job.”

Running A Mile With Another Man’s Shoes

| KY, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Theme Of The Month, Top, Wild & Unruly

(At the store I manage, we put sensors on expensive shoes. My sales manager comes up to inform me she has heard a customer popping one off of a shoe. I approach the customer.)

Me: “Hello, how are you doing today? Do you need any assistance?”

(I notice a sensor sitting next to him. I pick it up and hold it in my hand while assisting him. He picks up a shoe box, and starts to walk away.)

Customer: “No, I’m good.”

(He proceeds to look around the store while I follow him; I’m still holding the sensor. He puts the box he is carrying on a shelf, and starts to make his way out the door. I pick up the box to find it empty. He is walking down the sidewalk, so I run after him.)

Me: “Sir, give me back those shoes!”

Customer: “I don’t know what you’re talking about; you’re crazy!”

(He proceeds to run across the parking lot, with me in hot pursuit.)

Me: “Help! Help! Criminal! Criminal!”

(I am a small, 5’ young woman, chasing a 6’ man in his 30s. I start to lose steam, and am losing him. Out of nowhere, a security guard runs past me. The customer does not notice the guard, but starts dropping shoes out of his pants one by one. Thinking I am lagging behind, he turns back to pick up the shoes. He notices the security guard, and starts to run again. A car pulls up and tries to hit the shoplifter. He doesn’t hit him, but slows the man enough to allow the security guard to catch up. They proceed to wrestle, and the security guard takes the customer down. In the end, the customer is arrested, and I get all the shoes back!)