(I work as the technical specialist for a shoe store my family owns. I’m currently in a storage room off the front entrance on the computer.)

Customer: “Hi, excuse me? What’s your return policy?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I’m not entirely sure. Someone at the front desk could help you better.” *points to front desk*

Customer: “Oh, I thought this was the front desk.” *looks around* “You don’t really have much in here.”

Me: “Not really. Sorry, I’m just the IT person.”

Customer: *angry* “You just said that so you don’t have to help me!”

Me: *speechless*

Customer: “You just made that up so you didn’t have to get up and help me! Yeah, right…’I-T’. Like that’s a real job!” *leaves*

(I work in a shoe store. Sometimes we have the same style shoe in different colors and the colors vary in prices. A customer is having a problem with the listed price.)

Customer: “Why are the green and black shoes different in price? You should give me the price of the green one for the black one.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but the prices listed on the shoe are the final price. Different colors can be different prices, because they are a different shoe.”

Customer: “You can’t have a different price for a different colored shoe! That’s racist!”

(A customer that I served earlier this particular day walks in with small child of about one year. The child starts screaming and the mom puts the child down to run around unattended.)

Customer: “I need to return these shoes.”

Me: “Okay, was there anything wrong with them?”

Customer: “No, I just thought I had more money than I really did.”

Me: “Oh okay, that’s fine.”

Customer: “Yeah, I need that money so I can go to raves!”

(A customer is browsing around in the store.)

Me: “Hi, are you finding everything all right?”

Customer: “Am I finding everything all right?! What kind of a stupid question is that?”

Me: *speechless* “Um–”

Customer: “You know, I’ve always hated that question! I wish I could just find the son of a b**** who started that asking that question!”

Me: *mouth open, about to say something*

Customer: “What you’re supposed to ask is, ‘Hello sir, is there anything I could help you find?’”

Me: *about to do as he says*

Customer: “‘Am I finding everything all right?!’ That’s like asking me ‘How’s my life?’ How’s your life? Found everything you’re looking for? Are you happy with your life?”

Me: *speechless*

Customer: “Of course not!”

(There’s an awkward silence as I try to figure out what to say to him.)

Customer: “Spread the word!” *exits the store*

Me: forced smile* “Thank you, enjoy the rest of your day!”

Me: “Would you like to put in an email address or mailing address to receive coupons?”

Customer: “Sure, I’ll give you my email address.”

Customer’s friend: “No! Don’t give her your email address. People can hack you and track you down and find you with those.”

Customer: “Oh, I guess I can’t do that then.”

Customer’s friend: “Wait, did you say email or mailing address?”

Me: “Either one.”

Customer: “Well, I can go ahead and give you my mailing address then, can’t I?”

Customer’s friend: “I don’t see why not!”

Related:
One Annoyed Paranoid, Part 3
One Annoyed Paranoid, Part 2
One Annoyed Paranoid