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  • September Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    The Other Shoe Never Dropped

    , | Calgary, AB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m at work in a store that exclusively sells shoes. Sometimes when people get unspecific about what they want, I like to joke with them about it.)

    Me: “Hi there! Were you searching for anything in particular today?”

    Customer: “Shoes.”

    Me: *dead-pan* “Sorry, we’re out of those.”

    Customer: “WHAT?”

    (The customer looks seriously angry and tries to storm out before I chase her down and tell her that we do, in fact, have some shoes left.)

    Selling Foot In Mouth Disease

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Bad Behavior

    Me: “Hello! How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “I’m looking for some shoes for work and I heard you had comfortable ones.”

    Me: “We certainly do. May I ask what your profession is?”

    Customer: “Oh I don’t have a profession right now. I just need something I can wear to work in retail until I get a real job.”

    Running A Mile With Another Man’s Shoes

    | KY, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Theme Of The Month, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (At the store I manage, we put sensors on expensive shoes. My sales manager comes up to inform me she has heard a customer popping one off of a shoe. I approach the customer.)

    Me: “Hello, how are you doing today? Do you need any assistance?”

    (I notice a sensor sitting next to him. I pick it up and hold it in my hand while assisting him. He picks up a shoe box, and starts to walk away.)

    Customer: “No, I’m good.”

    (He proceeds to look around the store while I follow him; I’m still holding the sensor. He puts the box he is carrying on a shelf, and starts to make his way out the door. I pick up the box to find it empty. He is walking down the sidewalk, so I run after him.)

    Me: “Sir, give me back those shoes!”

    Customer: “I don’t know what you’re talking about; you’re crazy!”

    (He proceeds to run across the parking lot, with me in hot pursuit.)

    Me: “Help! Help! Criminal! Criminal!”

    (I am a small, 5’ young woman, chasing a 6’ man in his 30s. I start to lose steam, and am losing him. Out of nowhere, a security guard runs past me. The customer does not notice the guard, but starts dropping shoes out of his pants one by one. Thinking I am lagging behind, he turns back to pick up the shoes. He notices the security guard, and starts to run again. A car pulls up and tries to hit the shoplifter. He doesn’t hit him, but slows the man enough to allow the security guard to catch up. They proceed to wrestle, and the security guard takes the customer down. In the end, the customer is arrested, and I get all the shoes back!)

    Kick Off Your Sunday Shoe Store

    | LA, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Musical Mayhem

    (I am out shopping with two of my cousins. They decide we need to look at shoes. The store is nearly empty and they have a local oldies station playing. ‘Footloose’ comes on as they’re browsing the shoes.)

    Me: “Ooh! Footloose! I love this song!”

    Cousin #1: “Just don’t—”

    (Before she can finish her sentence, I start dancing to the music. She and her sister hide their faces and walk off to look at shoes in another part of the store. The two employees, who had looked bored to tears, start laughing and clapping as I dance around the shoe fitting area. When the song ends, I plop down on one of the seats to catch my breath.)

    Cousin #2: “We can’t take you anywhere!”

    Employee #1: “Oh, she didn’t hurt anyone!”

    Employee #2: “In fact, she just made our day! Thank you!”

    Me: *grinning* “I work with the public, and I know the bad customers outweigh the good, so I figured I would brighten your day!”

    Handling Change Well

    | Cork, Ireland | Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (A well-dressed, middle-aged man comes up to me with a friendly smile.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, I’m sorry to be a bother. Could I possibly get change from you?”

    Me: “Okay, come up to the till. I’ll help you out.”

    Customer: “Thank you so much.”

    (He hands me three €20 note.)

    Customer: “If I could get a €50 note and a €10 note out of this, it’d be really helpful.”

    (I take the three €20 notes, and hand him back the change.)

    Customer: “Thanks. Sorry, but could I ask one more favor? Could I just get two €1 coins for this?”

    (He hands me a €2 coin. I am feeling slightly suspicious now. I turn back to the till, take out the two one-euro coins, and hand them to the man. He doesn’t move.)

    Me: “Is there something else?”

    Customer: “You never gave me the €50 note.”

    Me: “I’m pretty sure I did.”

    Customer: “No, you definitely didn’t.”

    Me: “Sir, I’m not giving you any more money. If you would like, you can come back during closing. If we’re €50 over the end of day report, I will be happy to rectify my mistake. However, I’m absolutely positive I did not make one.”

    Customer: “Are you, really? This is ridiculous. You did not give me the money!”

    Me: “I think I did.”

    Customer: “You couldn’t have made a mistake? How are you so sure?”

    Me: “Because the corner of the €50 note I gave you is sticking out of your sleeve.”

    (Turns out he had done it to all the other shops on the street, and successfully conned two.)

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