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  • August Theme Of The Month: Best. Customer. Ever!

    The Color Of Stupid

    | LA, USA | Bigotry, Extra Stupid

    (I work at a popular shoe store chain. It’s a busy Friday afternoon and I’m in the middle of the floor prepping shoes to go out when a customer and her daughter come in. Both are on the phone. We’re all black.)

    Me: “Hi! Welcome to [Store].”

    (The customers don’t acknowledge me and I don’t think much of it and just continue to greet other people.)

    Customer: *walks up to me a few minutes later* “I just want to give you some advice as a young woman.”

    Me: “Okay?”

    Customer: “I’ve been in this store for five minutes and you haven’t said a word to me but I’ve watched you say hello to all the white customers.”

    Me: “Actually, I did greet you when you walked in but I guess you didn’t hear me.”

    Customer: “No. No, you didn’t. My daughter was right there and she didn’t hear you say a thing. That’s very sad that young black people feel that the white customers are more important than the black ones. My money is just as green as theirs and it spends the same.”

    Customer’s Daughter: “Self hate is what they call it.”

    Me: “Again, I did greet you and your daughter when you walked in. However, you were both on the phone, so that’s probably why you missed it. Sorry about that.”

    Customer: “Don’t try to lie about it now. We both know the truth. But don’t worry. I’m not offended, but the next person might be. And now that I know how I’ll be treated I wont be shopping here again.”

    (The customer throws the items she had on the floor and storms out.)

    Other Customer: “I’m so sorry you have to deal with stupid people, hun.”

    Giving Closing Time The Boot

    | Edmonton, AB, Canada | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month, Time

    (We close at 8 pm but we have a straggler in the store who was trying on pants at 8:30 pm. Our sign was off and my manager and I were dressed down ready to go home. The phone rings.)

    Me: “Good Evening, [Store Name]. [My Name] speaking. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “What time do you close?”

    Me: “8 pm.”

    Caller: “Oh, but its 8:30 and you’re still there?

    Me: “Yes, sir.”

    Caller: “So… can I come buy boots?”

    Me: *face in palm* “No, sir. We close at 8 pm. You will have to come by tomorrow.”

    Caller: “But you are still there. Are you doing your own work?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Caller: “Okay. So can I come in?”

    Me: “Have a good night, sir…”

    Alarmingly Bad At Listening

    | FL, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

    (I am ringing up a customer. The transaction goes smoothly until he is about to walk away with his purchases in his cart.)

    Me: “Oh, sir, you can’t take the cart out the doors. Our alarm will go off.”

    (The customer ignores me and keeps walking. Thankfully he turns around because his wife wanted to purchase another pair of shoes. Once that is done, I try again. Once again, he ignores me.)

    Me: “Sir, you can’t take the cart.”

    (The customer and his wife ignore me and continue to leave, until the security alarm goes off.)

    Customer: *pokes head back through the door* “Am I good?”

    Me: “No, you can’t take the cart.”

    Customer: *smiles and nods* “Okay.” *leaves with the cart*

    Me: “Well… okay, then.”

    This Family Business Is A Joke

    , | Calgary, AB, Canada | Bad Behavior, Funny Names, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at a well known shoe store. We wear tags bearing the name of the store, but not our names. A customer comes in and looks at my tag.)

    Customer: “So… your name’s Rockport?”

    Me: “Yep, it’s a family name. My dad started the business, and he wants me to learn it from the ground up.”

    Customer: “Really? That’s so admirable!”

    (I gesture to a few coworkers wearing the same name tag.)

    Me: “Yup, all the Rockport kids learn the business this way.”

    Customer: “All of you? Wow!”

    (I can’t quite believe she hasn’t caught on by this point, so I take pity.)

    Me: “What can I help you find…?”

    Going Gaga For Shoes

    , | ACT, Australia | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    (A young woman comes bursting into the store, flustered. She runs around all the aisles, frantically, at least three times. I watch her and go to walk over to help her, but she beats me to it and runs straight up to me, panting, sweating, red-faced, and a look of stress in her face.)

    Customer: “DO YOU HAVE LADY GAGA’S SHOES?! I NEED THEM!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t even know where you could even buy Lady Gaga’s shoes to start with. We don’t sell them here though…”

    Customer: “UGH! Not good. Not good… I ABSOLUTELY NEED LADY GAGA’S SHOES RIGHT NOW!”

    (She then bolted out the door, as if she was running from a pack of lions. The other customers and I just stood there for a moment to take in what just happened.)

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