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    Good Things Don’t Always Come In Packages

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Transportation

    Me: “Thank you for calling. How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I got a package and I signed for it, but I don’t want it, and I need you to take it back.”

    Me: “Okay… We probably can’t take back a package once you’ve signed for it, but let me see what I can do. Can you please tell me the tracking number?”

    Customer: “I don’t have the tracking number. I already told the guy at [Competitor] that. He said they wouldn’t take it, either.”

    Me: “Ma’am, is this package delivered by FedEx, UPS, or the postal service?”

    Customer: “I don’t know! I just need someone to come get it! I don’t want it and I need someone to come get it.”

    Me: “You’re going to need to call our customer service line. Before you call, please find the label on the box and look for the tracking number. They won’t be able to help you without it.”

    Customer: “I’m already talking to you. Why do I need to call a different phone number?!”

    Me: “I work in a retail location, and there is only so much I can do. You will need to call the customer service line.”

    Customer: “Just come get the box!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. All I can say is to call the customer service line.”

    Customer: “Well, all I can say is F*** YOU!”

    Hopefully, The Idea Will Stick

    | Twin Falls, ID, USAUSA | Extra Stupid

    (A customer holds an  open envelope with a prepaid label on it.)

    Customer: “I don’t know how to ship it or anything.”

    Me: “Well, basically, you’re gonna want to seal it up and give it to me.”

    Customer: “How do I seal it up?”

    Me: “You peel off this strip here”.

    (I point to the peel-off backing of the adhesive strip.)

    Customer: “But how do I peel it off?”

    Me: “With your fingers?”