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    Never EVER Burst His Bubble

    , | CT, USA | Bizarre

    (I used to work in one of the retail stores for a major shipping company. We sold all sorts of shipping materials, but the one that most caught customers’ eyes was the 250′ roll of bubble wrap. One day this older man who seemed like he might have been high walked into the store, stared at the two rolls of bubble wrap stacked on top of one another, and then looked creepily over at my coworker and me.)

    Customer: “I’ve always wondered how much bubble wrap it would take to ship a corpse.”

    Me: “Well, I would guess that depends on the size of the corpse.” *nervous laughter*

    Customer: *creepy smile* “I’ll let you know.”

    (He left and my coworker and I were left wondering whether or not we should call the cops.)

    A Sad Sign Of The Times

    | Houston, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Politics, Transportation

    (I walk into the local shipping store to drop off a package. There is a senior couple in front of me. I overheard the last part of the conversation between the wife and the employee.)

    Wife: “So, you’re telling me that this store doesn’t have that promotion?”

    Employee: “No, I’m sorry. We’re privately owned, so we’re not carrying out the promotion.”

    Wife: “Well, you should have signs here telling me that!”

    Employee: “Yeah, I’m sorry…”

    Wife: *walks towards the exit while her husband slowly follows her behind him* “This is the seventh store I’ve been to that doesn’t have the promotion. Liars. They’re all LIARS! Just like OBAMA! He’s a LIAR! OBAMA! LIAR!”

    Husband: *looks at me and shrugs, embarrassed*

    Her Shipping Method Is Full Of Holes

    | Jacksonville, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Transportation

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like to ship this textbook.”

    Me: “I can help you with that, ma’am. I would suggest, however, purchasing a mailer or box to ship it in. This box is not made for shipments.”

    Customer: “What! Why can’t I use this?!”

    Me: “Because it’s a Krispy Kreme donut box.”

    Liar Liar Panties On Fire

    , | San Diego, CA, USA |

    Me: “Hi, I understand that you’re having problems with your delivery.”

    Customer: “Yes, your stupid SOB driver won’t deliver to my apartment. I saw him through the window and thought he’d be right up, but he never came up.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I see that you live in an apartment complex, is there a security code or call box on the gate that the driver would need to use to gain access to your complex?”

    Customer: “There isn’t a call box or a gate code. The gates stay locked all day.”

    Me: “Well, without a gate code or a call box at the gate, my driver can’t get through to your gate. Furthermore, if you saw him outside of the complex, why didn’t you go out to greet him?”

    Customer: “That’s not my problem. I shouldn’t have to leave my apartment to get my package. It’s your job to deliver it to my door.”

    Me: “Actually, it is your problem if you’d like to receive your package today.”

    Customer: “You can’t speak to me like that! I demand to speak to your supervisor!

    Me: “Ma’am, I *am* the supervisor. I also dispatch to the driver to reattempt delivery to your address.”

    Customer: “I still don’t see why I have do half of your job. You’re the delivery company.”

    Me: “No problem ma’am. We’ll bring it back to the building tonight and we’ll try it again tomorrow. If we can’t reach your door tomorrow, then we’ll try again a third time and after that if it gets sent back to the shipper, you’ll have to address it with them.”

    Customer: “NO! NO! NO! Fine! I’ll prop the gate open, it’s medication that I need today!”

    Me: *looks in system, it’s Victoria Secret*