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    Adventures In The Third Dimension, Part 2

    | Massachusetts, USA | Math & Science

    Customer: “Hi, I called earlier about getting a storage unit.”

    Me: “Okay. What size were you looking for?”

    Customer: “I don’t know. You told me on the phone.”

    Me: “Hmm, well, there are 4-5 people in this office who answer the phone at any time. I don’t think I spoke to you.”

    Customer: “Oh. Well, it was…hmm. I don’t remember.”

    (I walk her outside the office into the parking lot show her a painted grid on the ground that illustrates the different sizes. I take a long time explaining the different sizes, and how much each costs. She has a price/size list in her hand the whole time. She looks very confused but finally seems to understand and decides she wants a 10’x10’ storage unit. We go back in the office so we can do the paperwork.)

    Customer: “Okay, so, 10’x10’ is the width?”

    Me: “Well, 10’x10’ means the space is ten feet wide and ten feet long.”

    Customer: *blank stare*

    Me: “The grid you just looked at painted on the ground shows only the footprint of the storage unit.”

    Customer: *blank stare*

    Me: “The illustration grid painted on the ground does not show the third dimension, which is height. The ceiling is about 8 feet high.”

    Customer: *blank stare* “So…I can stack things UP?” *she looks excited*

    Me: “Yes. You are not renting a two-dimensional space.”

    Customer: *blank stare*

    Me: “You are not renting a parking space. You are going to be renting a three-dimensional storage space.”

    (I gesture with my hands to make the shape of a three dimensional box.)

    Customer: “This is so confusing!”

    Related:
    Adventures In The Third Dimension

    The Fine Art Of Firing A Customer

    | Fremont, CA, USA | Top

    (A friend of mine who manages a self storage facility has a troublemaking customer that he has been trying to get rid of. One day, the customer comes up asking about a promotional offer.)

    Customer: “Hi, I saw on your website that you have storage for $100, but I’m paying $130.”

    Manager: “Yeah, that’s a promotional rate.”

    Customer: “Well, can I get that rate?”

    Manager: “I can’t just change people’s rates. It’s only for new customers to that space.”

    Customer: “Well, can I just move into that storage?”

    Manager: “You can’t just move it from one storage to the other and get the new rate. You would have to have everything out because I can’t vacate it until it’s empty.”

    Customer: “That’s fine. I’ll move this Saturday.”

    (The customer moves out the following Saturday, gets everything loaded into their truck then stops by the office.)

    Customer: “Alright, I moved everything out of my storage.”

    Manager: “That’s great. Now, get out.”

    Customer: “What? Can I get that other storage?”

    Manager: “Well, I looked at your past history with the company and you’ve been consistently late and rude to other customers. I’m afraid we’re going to deny the new rental. My manager wouldn’t let me evict you but you moved out yourself, so everything’s good.”

    Customer: “But I have all my things taken off the property! Where am I going to put them?”

    Manager: “Anywhere but here.”