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  • Bigotry Comes In All Shapes And Sizes
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    Guess Their Dog Wasn’t Hungry

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA |

    (I send homework home with my students every week. Sometimes it’s pretty obvious that their parents “help” them by doing it for them.)

    Student: “My mom doesn’t know how to do this.”

    Me: “No, but you do.”

    Student: “Oh.” *turns and walks away*

    (The next day, his work was completed.)

    Readin’, Ritin’, And Retrievin’

    | San Diego, CA, USA |

    Me: “Good morning, you have reached [high school]. How can I help you?”

    Parent: “My son left his cell phone at the convenience store three blocks over. Can you go get it?”

    Makeup Quiz For A Madeup Flu

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body, School

    (A student who has missed class and calls me a day later to explain her absence.)

    Student: “I need to take the quiz I missed yesterday.”

    Me: “Remember, quizzes cannot be made up.”

    Student: “I missed class yesterday because my son is sick.”

    Little voice in the background: “Momma, I’m sick?”

    A Whole New Grade Of Stupidity

    | Atlanta, GA, USA |

    (An online math student is calling to complain about her grade. Her assignment was submitted three days late.)

    Me: “The assignment was late by three days. The 30% late penalty cost you 18 points.”

    Caller: “But it’s not right. 30% of 60 is not 18.”

    Me: “Yes, it is. Think of it as three times six.”

    Caller: *counting in a low voice* “Yeah, I guess it is. But the late penalty shouldn’t apply to me.”

    Me: “Why is that?”

    Caller: “Because I submitted the assignment BEFORE you graded it.”

    Apparently Bad Parenting, Part 2

    | Houston, TX, USA |

    Customer: “I need to pick up my daughter. She’s in the eighth grade.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. The eighth graders are testing right now and they’ve only been testing for about forty five minutes. I don’t think she’s done.”

    Customer: “But we have a plane to catch!”

    Me: “Well, why didn’t you just not send her to school? I mean, what time is your flight?”

    Customer: “8:45!”

    Me: “Ma’am, that was thirty minutes ago. I don’t think you’re making it anyways.”

    Customer: “But it’s central time zone!”

    Me: “We’re in the central time zone, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Don’t correct me! I don’t care if she fails. I just don’t want to lose my dignity!”

    Related:
    Apparently Bad Parenting


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