Featured:
  • My Roommate Is My Pet Hate
    (1,057 thumbs up)
  • September Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    Needlessly Needy

    | New York, NY, USA | Family & Kids, Money

    (I work for a private school which caters mostly to academically talented urban youth. Years ago, the school was not as diverse as the school is now; many of our students received substantial scholarships due to coming from low income households.)

    Me: “Good morning. What can I do for you today?”

    Parent: “I’m here to see the Director! You people have been overcharging me for years! *slams a thick folder on my desk* “These are all my statements and checks proving you’ve been cheating me!”

    Me: “Can you give me your name and the student’s name so I can look up your account, please?”

    (The parent gives me the information and I look up the account.)

    Me: “Ms. [parent’s name], your son graduated in June 2002. That was almost 10 years ago.”

    Parent: “And? You took my money! I hear students are only charged $500 a year to go here, but I was charged thousands! THOUSANDS!”

    Me: “Please calm down. Let me explain: we have always given need-based scholarships to low income students, and—”

    Parent: “We are low income, but you charged me the full tuition anyway! I want my money back TODAY!”

    Me: “Ms. [parent’s name], according to our notations your average total gross household income during your son’s tenure with us averaged around $170,000 a year.”

    Parent: “…AND?”

    Me: “Well, students who receive low tuitions through need-based and academic scholarships tend to come from extremely low income backgrounds. Off the top of my head, I believe some of the students who fall under need based-scholarships average gross household incomes of only $20,000 a year.”

    Parent: “You f***ing liar! Nobody makes so little money! I want to see the f***ing director, right f***ing now!”

    (She ended up seeing the director, who did not give her money back but offered her a lower tuition rate for when her youngest child is old enough to attend our school. When that day comes, I plan to work elsewhere.)

    Someone Needs To Tone It Down

    | USA | Bizarre

    (I am a student teacher at a high school. A man I have dubbed “Lord of the Copy Room” is a pretty grumpy guy who has specific ways that “his” copy machines should be used. Unbeknownst to me, this particular machine is only for jobs up to 30 copies.)

    Me: *makes 35 copies*

    Him: “Excuse me! How many copies did you just make?!”

    Me: “Uh, um, a class set, so 35 copies.”

    Him: *taps the machine* “That copier is for 30 copies and below! Don’t you know that?!”

    Me: “No, I’m sorry. I’ll use the other one.”

    Him: “It’s all right. I can tell you’re new. Just remember! Copies make the world go round! Don’t you love the smell of toner?!” *scampers off*

    Pretty Poor Flirting

    | Australia | Uncategorized

    Me: “I’m really sorry, but you’ve come through to the wrong area. This is grounds maintenance.”

    Customer: “But you’re too pretty to work in grounds maintenance.”

    Me: “Thank you. You’ll still need to go to the central building, on the other side of campus.”

    Customer: “But you’re too pretty! I should be doing your job; I’m much better suited.”

    Me: “I, um—”

    Customer: “You’re too PRETTY!”

    Financially Bankrupt, Circumstantially Bereft, And Substantially Boneheaded

    | South Carolina, USA | Extra Stupid, Money, School

    (I work for the financial aid department at a local tech school. A student comes in and asks about his student loans.)

    Me: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

    Student: *dismayed response* “Yeah, I want to check my student loans request.”

    Me: “Sure thing. Can I get a student ID number?”

    Student: “I ain’t got one.”

    Me: “Can I have your last and first name?”

    Student: “Yeah.”

    (There’s an awkward silence as he doesn’t say anything.)

    Me: “Sir, may I get your last and first name?”

    Student: *gives name*

    (I search for the student, but can’t find him.)

    Me: “Sir, are you a student here?”

    Student: “I ain’t got time for this! I want my money!”

    Me: “Sir, you have to be a student to get student loans.”

    Student: *shocked* “Oh, s***, really?”

    Let’s Hope This Apple Fell Far From The Tree

    | Michigan, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I am a secretary at a local academy.)

    Me: “[School name], how may I help you?”

    Customer: “I’m interested in signing my kid up for classes. He’s 16. So, when are they held?”

    Me: “We have classes everyday, except for Tuesdays at 6:30 pm.”

    Customer: “No, that’s too much information for me to process. Is there someone else I can talk to?”

    Me: “Um, well, you could call another secretary.”

    Customer: “I don’t think I want to bring my child to a class that starts in the dark. That’s just too much information!”

    Me: “Well, we have a website, but it will say the same thing–”

    Customer: “Can I call someone else? You gave me too much complicated information and I can’t absorb it all!”

    Page 3/812345...Last