Featured Story:
  • Got A Tip-Off About Grandpa’s Antics
    (2,280 thumbs up)
  • February Theme Of The Month: Hazardous Customers!
    Submit your story today!

    Pretty Poor Flirting

    | Australia |

    Me: “I’m really sorry, but you’ve come through to the wrong area. This is grounds maintenance.”

    Customer: “But you’re too pretty to work in grounds maintenance.”

    Me: “Thank you. You’ll still need to go to the central building, on the other side of campus.”

    Customer: “But you’re too pretty! I should be doing your job; I’m much better suited.”

    Me: “I, um—”

    Customer: “You’re too PRETTY!”

    Financially Bankrupt, Circumstantially Bereft, And Substantially Boneheaded

    | South Carolina, USA | Extra Stupid, Money, School

    (I work for the financial aid department at a local tech school. A student comes in and asks about his student loans.)

    Me: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

    Student: *dismayed response* “Yeah, I want to check my student loans request.”

    Me: “Sure thing. Can I get a student ID number?”

    Student: “I ain’t got one.”

    Me: “Can I have your last and first name?”

    Student: “Yeah.”

    (There’s an awkward silence as he doesn’t say anything.)

    Me: “Sir, may I get your last and first name?”

    Student: *gives name*

    (I search for the student, but can’t find him.)

    Me: “Sir, are you a student here?”

    Student: “I ain’t got time for this! I want my money!”

    Me: “Sir, you have to be a student to get student loans.”

    Student: *shocked* “Oh, s***, really?”

    Let’s Hope This Apple Fell Far From The Tree

    | Michigan, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I am a secretary at a local academy.)

    Me: “[School name], how may I help you?”

    Customer: “I’m interested in signing my kid up for classes. He’s 16. So, when are they held?”

    Me: “We have classes everyday, except for Tuesdays at 6:30 pm.”

    Customer: “No, that’s too much information for me to process. Is there someone else I can talk to?”

    Me: “Um, well, you could call another secretary.”

    Customer: “I don’t think I want to bring my child to a class that starts in the dark. That’s just too much information!”

    Me: “Well, we have a website, but it will say the same thing–”

    Customer: “Can I call someone else? You gave me too much complicated information and I can’t absorb it all!”

    A Bit Young To Be So Off-Color

    | France | School

    (I am a kindergarten teacher, and I’m meeting a student for the first time.)

    Me: “What is your favorite color?”

    5 year-old: “Stool.”

    Me: “Let’s try that again…”

    Of Freudian Slips & Lesbian Lips

    , | Sydney, Australia |

    (I’ve just had my first yoga class with a friend of mine, who is a regular at this school. We’ve just stepped out into the reception area.)

    Female instructor: “So, how did you go with your first class?”

    Me: “It went really well, thanks! It certainly makes you sweat that’s for sure!”

    Female instructor: “Just be sure to drink lots of women.”

    (My friend and I start laughing hilariously.)

    Female instructor: “Water! I mean water! I can’t believe I said that!”

    Also seen on: Not Always Romantic

    Page 3/712345...Last