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    Music Is Ageless

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Family & Kids, School

    (I am a 21-year-old receptionist at a music school. One evening, there is a student waiting for his lesson in the reception area.)

    Me: “Hi there. How old are you?”

    Student: “8 years old. How old are you?”

    Me: *smiles* “How old do you think I am?”

    Student: “I dunno. You look really old.”

    *silence*

    Student: “Yeah, you look like you’re like, 17 or something.”

    Has A Plain Brain

    | MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, School

    (My younger sister is in high school, and I often pick her up. I overhear a conversation when I am waiting.)

    Student #1: “I’m gonna go get a burger… wanna come?”

    Student #2: “Over at [fast food] place? Nah, they always mess up my order when I go.”

    Student #1: “What do they do?”

    Student #2: “I always order it plain but then they put nothing on it.”

    Student #1: “You dumba***, that’s what plain means!”

    Student #2: “No, it isn’t! Plain means a plain burger! You know, how they’re supposed to make it. No changes.”

    Student #1: “I can’t believe I’m friends with you.”

    He Has Been Governated

    | USA | School, Top

    (We are having a political event at our school, and many politicians are attending, including the Governor of the state. There is a free lunch, but we get less than half the people we expect, so we start giving lunch to random people who happen to be walking by.)

    Student: *cuts in line*

    Man behind him: “Excuse me, you cut the line.”

    Student: “Do you know who I am?”

    (I don’t know who the student is, but I do know who the man behind him is, so I’m concealing my laughter.)

    Man behind him: “No, but I’m not allowed to cut the line either and I doubt you’re allowed to.”

    Student: “Excuse me? Who do you think you are?”

    Man behind him: “The Governor. And you are?”

    All Set For Higher Standards

    | Southfield, MI, USA | Extra Stupid, School

    (I work at a test proctoring facility. A student has just finished taking his placement exams.)

    Me: “Alright, you placed into University Physics and Calculus 1.”

    Student: “Okay.”

    Me: “Do you have any last questions?”

    Student: “Who do I talk to about registration?”

    Me: “Go upstairs to Admissions. They should be able to help you.”

    Student: “Okay.” *stands there*

    Me: “…Anything else I can help you with?”

    Student: “Nope.” *stands there*

    Me: “Okay… you’re all set.”

    Student: “Okay.” *stands there*

    (I try to subtly signal the student to move on by shuffling my papers.)

    Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

    Student: “Nope.” *stands there*

    Me: “So… your scores have been entered into the database. So… you’re all set.”

    Student: “Oh, I’m all set?”

    Me: “Yes…”

    Student: “Oh, okay!” *leaves*

    Home Doesn’t Always Work

    | Midlands, UK | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, School, Top

    (I am a year 5 class teacher. I’m dismissing my class of nine and ten year olds at the end of the day when a mother approaches me.)

    Mother: “My son’s not been doing his homework!”

    Me: “I know. He hasn’t handed his homework in for several weeks now.”

    Mother: “Well, I’m not very happy about this!”

    Me: “No, nor am I.”

    Mother: “So, what are you going to do about it?”

    Me: “I can’t make him do his homework. His homework is to be completed at home.”

    Mother: “Why?”

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