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    Girls In Love Will Always Be A Mystery

    , | Toronto, ON, Canada | Books & Reading, School

    (I am at a school fund raising fair. At one table they are selling books and they have a category of ‘mystery books’ where the books are wrapped so you can’t see what you were getting until after you had paid your dollar. I am standing beside the table when I hear a voice:)

    Customer: “Oh, jeeze!”

    (Looking over, I saw a teenage boy holding a mystery book that he had just bought and opened. The title of the book was ‘Girls in Love.’)

    Just Stole His Thunder

    | St. Louis, MO, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Money

    (I’m volunteering at my school’s concession stand at a football game. An elderly man comes up to the register. There’s a very long, impatient line.)

    Me: “Hello sir, welcome to [school name], home of the [mascot]! How may I help you?”

    Man: “I’ll have two hot dogs, a pretzel with cheese, nachos, a Diet Coke and a Sprite.”

    (I hand him the hot dogs and sodas. The kids in the back are still working on the nachos and pretzel.)

    Man: “Where’s my pretzel and nachos?”

    (Right as he says this, the pretzel is ready. It comes wrapped in wax paper with a cup of cheese, and I hand it to him.)

    Man: “What’s this?”

    Me: “A pretzel with cheese.”

    Man: “No! I want it in a tray!”

    (I take the pretzel back and ask for a nacho tray. The nachos are still not yet ready.)

    Me: “That’ll be $7.50, please.”

    Man: *has money out and I attempt to take it* “Hold on, don’t take my money until I get my prize!”

    Me: “Sir, there is at least $200 in cash in this register. If I wanted to steal money, I’d just grab some when nobody was looking, not from some guy who’s holding up a line!”

    Man: *takes his food and backs away sheepishly*

    Music Is Ageless

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Family & Kids, School

    (I am a 21-year-old receptionist at a music school. One evening, there is a student waiting for his lesson in the reception area.)

    Me: “Hi there. How old are you?”

    Student: “8 years old. How old are you?”

    Me: *smiles* “How old do you think I am?”

    Student: “I dunno. You look really old.”

    *silence*

    Student: “Yeah, you look like you’re like, 17 or something.”

    Has A Plain Brain

    | MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, School

    (My younger sister is in high school, and I often pick her up. I overhear a conversation when I am waiting.)

    Student #1: “I’m gonna go get a burger… wanna come?”

    Student #2: “Over at [fast food] place? Nah, they always mess up my order when I go.”

    Student #1: “What do they do?”

    Student #2: “I always order it plain but then they put nothing on it.”

    Student #1: “You dumba***, that’s what plain means!”

    Student #2: “No, it isn’t! Plain means a plain burger! You know, how they’re supposed to make it. No changes.”

    Student #1: “I can’t believe I’m friends with you.”

    He Has Been Governated

    | USA | School, Top

    (We are having a political event at our school, and many politicians are attending, including the Governor of the state. There is a free lunch, but we get less than half the people we expect, so we start giving lunch to random people who happen to be walking by.)

    Student: *cuts in line*

    Man behind him: “Excuse me, you cut the line.”

    Student: “Do you know who I am?”

    (I don’t know who the student is, but I do know who the man behind him is, so I’m concealing my laughter.)

    Man behind him: “No, but I’m not allowed to cut the line either and I doubt you’re allowed to.”

    Student: “Excuse me? Who do you think you are?”

    Man behind him: “The Governor. And you are?”

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