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    Vacationing At The School Of Repetition

    , | UK | Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging, Money

    (The phone rings.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, School of Medicine, how may I help you.”

    Caller: “Yes, my credit card number is 574…”

    Me: “Excuse me, why are you giving me your credit card number?”

    Caller: “I’m paying my room bill.”

    Me: “Your… room bill? We don’t take any outside bookings for our teaching rooms…”

    Caller: “No, no, no, the room I was staying in.”

    Me: *realisation hitting* “Oh. I think you might have the wrong number, sir. This is the School of Medicine, part of [University].”

    Caller: “… you’re not the Hilton Hotel?”

    Me: “No, sir.”

    Caller: “Oh.”

    (He hangs up. I put the receiver down, and I’m just about to turn to my colleagues and comment on the strange call I just received when the phone goes again.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, School of Medicine. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Good afternoon. My credit card number is 574…”

    Me: “Um, sorry, sir, but you’ve dialled the wrong number again; you’re through to the School of Medicine.”

    Caller: “What? Are you sure?”

    Me: “Yes, sir, I’m sure.”

    Caller: “Oh.”

    (He hangs up again. I turn to my colleagues and manage to say ‘that was weird,’ when the phone goes again.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, School of Medicine.”

    Caller: “Oh, you’re joking!”

    Me: “Hello again, sir. No, you’re definitely ringing the wrong number.”

    Caller: “But it can’t be. I put the number in right the first time!”

    Me: “The first time? The first time you got through to me?”

    Caller: “Yes!”

    Me: “And did you try putting the number in again the other times?”

    Caller: “Well, of course not. That’s why I have redial on my phone!”

    (At this point, I have to look up, remove the phone from my ear and breathe deeply through my nose in order not to break into convulsions of laughter.)

    Me: “Sir, do you have something with the Hilton Hotel’s number on it?”

    Caller: “Yes, I have their booking confirmation.”

    Me: “Can you tell me the number?”

    Caller: “Yes, it’s 9079 XXXX.”

    Me: “I see the problem. Our number is 9097 XXXX. You need to hang up again and dial the correct number this time.”

    Caller: “Oh.” *click*

    (It took me nearly a minute after he hung up the final time before I managed to start telling my colleagues what had just happened.)


    Laziness Is The Father Of Repetition

    Girls In Love Will Always Be A Mystery

    , | Toronto, ON, Canada | Books & Reading, School

    (I am at a school fund raising fair. At one table they are selling books and they have a category of ‘mystery books’ where the books are wrapped so you can’t see what you were getting until after you had paid your dollar. I am standing beside the table when I hear a voice:)

    Customer: “Oh, jeeze!”

    (Looking over, I saw a teenage boy holding a mystery book that he had just bought and opened. The title of the book was ‘Girls in Love.’)

    Just Stole His Thunder

    | St. Louis, MO, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Money

    (I’m volunteering at my school’s concession stand at a football game. An elderly man comes up to the register. There’s a very long, impatient line.)

    Me: “Hello sir, welcome to [school name], home of the [mascot]! How may I help you?”

    Man: “I’ll have two hot dogs, a pretzel with cheese, nachos, a Diet Coke and a Sprite.”

    (I hand him the hot dogs and sodas. The kids in the back are still working on the nachos and pretzel.)

    Man: “Where’s my pretzel and nachos?”

    (Right as he says this, the pretzel is ready. It comes wrapped in wax paper with a cup of cheese, and I hand it to him.)

    Man: “What’s this?”

    Me: “A pretzel with cheese.”

    Man: “No! I want it in a tray!”

    (I take the pretzel back and ask for a nacho tray. The nachos are still not yet ready.)

    Me: “That’ll be $7.50, please.”

    Man: *has money out and I attempt to take it* “Hold on, don’t take my money until I get my prize!”

    Me: “Sir, there is at least $200 in cash in this register. If I wanted to steal money, I’d just grab some when nobody was looking, not from some guy who’s holding up a line!”

    Man: *takes his food and backs away sheepishly*

    Music Is Ageless

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Family & Kids, School

    (I am a 21-year-old receptionist at a music school. One evening, there is a student waiting for his lesson in the reception area.)

    Me: “Hi there. How old are you?”

    Student: “8 years old. How old are you?”

    Me: *smiles* “How old do you think I am?”

    Student: “I dunno. You look really old.”


    Student: “Yeah, you look like you’re like, 17 or something.”

    Has A Plain Brain

    | MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, School

    (My younger sister is in high school, and I often pick her up. I overhear a conversation when I am waiting.)

    Student #1: “I’m gonna go get a burger… wanna come?”

    Student #2: “Over at [fast food] place? Nah, they always mess up my order when I go.”

    Student #1: “What do they do?”

    Student #2: “I always order it plain but then they put nothing on it.”

    Student #1: “You dumba***, that’s what plain means!”

    Student #2: “No, it isn’t! Plain means a plain burger! You know, how they’re supposed to make it. No changes.”

    Student #1: “I can’t believe I’m friends with you.”

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