Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • This Round He Lost (In Translation), Part 4
    (2,083 thumbs up)
  • April Themed Story Giveaway: Creepy Customers!
    Submit your story today!

    Just Stole His Thunder

    | St. Louis, MO, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Money

    (I’m volunteering at my school’s concession stand at a football game. An elderly man comes up to the register. There’s a very long, impatient line.)

    Me: “Hello sir, welcome to [school name], home of the [mascot]! How may I help you?”

    Man: “I’ll have two hot dogs, a pretzel with cheese, nachos, a Diet Coke and a Sprite.”

    (I hand him the hot dogs and sodas. The kids in the back are still working on the nachos and pretzel.)

    Man: “Where’s my pretzel and nachos?”

    (Right as he says this, the pretzel is ready. It comes wrapped in wax paper with a cup of cheese, and I hand it to him.)

    Man: “What’s this?”

    Me: “A pretzel with cheese.”

    Man: “No! I want it in a tray!”

    (I take the pretzel back and ask for a nacho tray. The nachos are still not yet ready.)

    Me: “That’ll be $7.50, please.”

    Man: *has money out and I attempt to take it* “Hold on, don’t take my money until I get my prize!”

    Me: “Sir, there is at least $200 in cash in this register. If I wanted to steal money, I’d just grab some when nobody was looking, not from some guy who’s holding up a line!”

    Man: *takes his food and backs away sheepishly*

    Music Is Ageless

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Family & Kids, School

    (I am a 21-year-old receptionist at a music school. One evening, there is a student waiting for his lesson in the reception area.)

    Me: “Hi there. How old are you?”

    Student: “8 years old. How old are you?”

    Me: *smiles* “How old do you think I am?”

    Student: “I dunno. You look really old.”

    *silence*

    Student: “Yeah, you look like you’re like, 17 or something.”

    Has A Plain Brain

    | MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, School

    (My younger sister is in high school, and I often pick her up. I overhear a conversation when I am waiting.)

    Student #1: “I’m gonna go get a burger… wanna come?”

    Student #2: “Over at [fast food] place? Nah, they always mess up my order when I go.”

    Student #1: “What do they do?”

    Student #2: “I always order it plain but then they put nothing on it.”

    Student #1: “You dumba***, that’s what plain means!”

    Student #2: “No, it isn’t! Plain means a plain burger! You know, how they’re supposed to make it. No changes.”

    Student #1: “I can’t believe I’m friends with you.”

    He Has Been Governated

    | USA | School, Top

    (We are having a political event at our school, and many politicians are attending, including the Governor of the state. There is a free lunch, but we get less than half the people we expect, so we start giving lunch to random people who happen to be walking by.)

    Student: *cuts in line*

    Man behind him: “Excuse me, you cut the line.”

    Student: “Do you know who I am?”

    (I don’t know who the student is, but I do know who the man behind him is, so I’m concealing my laughter.)

    Man behind him: “No, but I’m not allowed to cut the line either and I doubt you’re allowed to.”

    Student: “Excuse me? Who do you think you are?”

    Man behind him: “The Governor. And you are?”

    All Set For Higher Standards

    | Southfield, MI, USA | Extra Stupid, School

    (I work at a test proctoring facility. A student has just finished taking his placement exams.)

    Me: “Alright, you placed into University Physics and Calculus 1.”

    Student: “Okay.”

    Me: “Do you have any last questions?”

    Student: “Who do I talk to about registration?”

    Me: “Go upstairs to Admissions. They should be able to help you.”

    Student: “Okay.” *stands there*

    Me: “…Anything else I can help you with?”

    Student: “Nope.” *stands there*

    Me: “Okay… you’re all set.”

    Student: “Okay.” *stands there*

    (I try to subtly signal the student to move on by shuffling my papers.)

    Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

    Student: “Nope.” *stands there*

    Me: “So… your scores have been entered into the database. So… you’re all set.”

    Student: “Oh, I’m all set?”

    Me: “Yes…”

    Student: “Oh, okay!” *leaves*


    Page 1/712345...Last