Not Getting To The Meat Of The Issue

| Christchurch, New Zealand | Food & Drink

(At the sandwich shop I work at, pretty much all the meat is cold and we only heat it at the customer’s request. I am working the first position on the sandwich line, greeting people, and starting their sandwiches for them. An older customer comes up to the line.)

Me: “Hi there, welcome to [store name]. What can I get you today?”

Customer: “I’d like a sandwich, please.”

Me: “Sure! What would you like in it?”

Customer: “Cold meat.”

Me: “Ma’am, all the meat is cold. What meat would you like?”

Customer: “Cold meat. I already said that!”

Me: “Well, what type? We have ham, chicken, beef, turkey—”

Customer: “How hard is it for you to just put cold meat in my d*** sandwich? Are you new here?! They always put cold meat in my d*** sandwich! For f***’s sake, just put cold meat in my sandwich!”

Me: *speechless* “Okay, how about I get you the person who regularly serves you to help you out?”

Customer: “No! F*** it! You’re useless at this!” *leaves store grumbling*

Related:
Getting To The Meat Of The Issue

Forbidden Fruits (& Veggies)

| Washington, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(A middle-aged woman, her mother, and her three year old walk into my sandwich shop.)

Mother: *to child* “What do you want today?”

Child: “A samminch!”

Mother: “Okay, what kind?”

Child: “A samminch!”

Mother: “Do you want turkey?”

Child: “NO!”

Mother: “Do you want ham?”

Child: “NO!”

Mother: “I AIN’T RAISIN’ NO VEGETARIAN!”

One Person’s Smash Is Another Person’s Treasure

| Oklahoma, USA | Food & Drink

Customer: “Do you have guacamole here?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Customer: “Because I asked for guacamole at [competition], and they gave me this smooshy baby-poo green stuff!”

Old Habits Die Hard

| Tennessee, USA | Food & Drink

Me: “Hi, welcome to [sandwich shop]. Is this for here or to go?”

Customer: “It’s to go. What do you have that is good?”

Me: “Well, it’s all good. Do want hot or cold food?”

Customer: “I guess cold. Do you sell things other than sandwiches?”

Me: “Yes, we have salads, too.”

Customer: “Great, I am so tired of sandwiches! That is all I have eaten all week.”

Me: “What would you like?”

Customer: “I guess I will take a regular size roast beef sandwich.”

Does Your Sandwich Measure Up

| Canada | Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

(I am a 19 year old female worker in a sub shop. A 20-something customer comes in with his girlfriend.)

Customer: “So, you work at [sandwich shop]?”

Me: “Yea? Why?”

Customer: “So, you know how to handle a foot long eh?”

Me: “Yes, yes I do.”

Customer: “Oh, good, so you can handle me, eh?”

Me: *playing along* “I doubt you’re a footlong but, yeah, I guess.”

Customer’s girlfriend, to customer: “See! Even she knows you have a huge ego.”

(His girlfriend goes on to order a 6 inch sub. I make it and hand it to her.)

Customer’s girlfriend, to customer: “Well, this is more like it, eh, babe?”

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