I’m sitting at my normal booth at a sandwich shop when a man walks in. In six words, I know that this is going to be a fun story to share with my friends. 

Customer: “Do you have anything gluten-free?”

Sandwich Artist: “No, sorry, sir.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Sandwich Artist: “I’ll give you the number for corporate, and you can ask them when you leave.”

Customer: “All right. Well, I guess I’ll just get my friend’s sandwich, then.”

He proceeds to go through the entire process of ordering a tuna sandwich with the works, but as they are wrapping the sandwich up and putting it in the bag, he stops.

Customer: “Wait. Does the tuna have mayonnaise in it?” 

Sandwich Artist: “Yes, it’s mixed in.”

Customer: “Why didn’t you say anything?! He can’t have that, then! Ugh!”

The man moves back to the top of the line. (The shop is empty aside from the two of us.) The employees look at each other before the one that has been dealing with him moves back up to the top of the line, as well. They go through assembling a whole second sandwich and then get back to the register.

Sandwich Artist: “Your total will be $33.24.”

Customer: “What? Why is it so expensive?”

Sandwich Artist: “It’s two footlo—”

Customer: “One.”

Sandwich Artist: “You have the tuna and t—”

Customer: “No, he can’t have that! I’m not buying it.”

Sandwich Artist: “Well, I’m charging you for it.”

Customer: “What?! Why?!”

Sandwich Artist: “Because you ordered it.”

Customer: “YOU DIDN’T TELL ME THERE WAS MAYO!”

Me: “You didn’t tell her that you had a sensitivity to account for.”

I meant to say it to myself, but both of them hear me and the man glares at me. 

Okay… maybe part of me meant to say it that loud… maybe.

Customer: “I’ll be having the Cold Cut.”

Sandwich Artist: “$33.24.”

Customer: “I’m not paying for the other sandwich!”

Sandwich Artist: “Yes, you are. You ordered it.”

Customer: “Fine, then! I’m going elsewhere!”

The man stormed out of the shop without either of the sandwiches. The worker shook her head and disappeared into the back with them. 

I actually did not see her again; she and her coworkers didn’t reemerge in the time that I took to finish my meal. I assume they were taking a breather and listening for the door chime to alert them that someone was coming in. 

The tuna sandwich guy ended up going to the steak place next door. I saw him arguing with the staff there when I left.

I admittedly shouldn’t work in a sandwich store as I am incapable of dealing with stupid customers with a “customer service smile.” I am usually employed to arrive super early before we open and prep the fresh veggies and other ingredients that would go in the sandwiches, and this suits me just fine.

One day, we get a call-out and my manager begs me to be around for a couple of hours to help customers until a cover can make it in.

Me: “I can, but I can’t handle the customers if they act up or say something stupid.”

Manager: “That’s fine. Just direct them to me if they say something that you can’t respond to in a… customer service manner.”

We open, and within minutes, we get our first customer. They approach me and the first thing they say is:

Customer: “I’d like a six-inch footlong.”

Me: *To the manager* “You’re up!”

Customer: “I want a cold-cut trio.”

I make the sandwich and start heating it in the oven. After taking it out:

Customer: “Excuse me, but I wanted a cold-cut trio.”

We used to have a separate line for walk-ins and one for online orders. Since we are in lockdown at the moment, we have switched to 100% online orders and we only allow people in who have an order number.

A customer walks in and comes right up to the counter. She’s also not wearing a mask — a legal requirement at this time.

Customer: “I have an online order to pick up, number 311.”

Me: “Ma’am, please put on your mask. The line for order pick-ups starts outside and we will call you in when it is ready. It looks like your order will be ready in nine minutes.”

Customer: *Not moving, not putting on a mask* “No, I made an online order. Online. I don’t wait.”

Me: “Everyone has made an online order, ma’am. We don’t do walk-ins at the moment, so we only have the one line. Please put on your mask and enter the line.”

The customer looks at the line, then at me, and then at all the staff.

Customer: “This is discrimination! This is discrimination and I will not have it!”

Me: “Ma’am?”

Customer: “Making the white lady wait for her order while all the Black people get served first! I see how it is!”

I notice the line of three people inside the store happens to be made up of all Black people, entirely a coincidence.

Me: “Ma’am, that’s just the way the line is. Everyone is waiting their turn, so if you could—”

Customer: “No! This is discrimination and this is disgusting! The news said this would start to happen!”

She storms out, and we hope she just joined the line and will have a rant on social media or something. We are very wrong.

She later storms back into the store, still with no mask but with a couple of police officers!

Customer: “That’s them, officers! You need to arrest them for hate crimes!”

The officers look at us and seem to be intelligent enough to surmise the situation. They talk to us, get our explanation, and then finally turn back to the fuming customer.

Officer: “Ma’am, it seems that all you were told to do was wait in line. These workers here even offered the security footage to confirm their version of events, and usually when that kind of evidence is offered, it’s because it’s going to help them. Can you explain, once again, why you feel you have been the victim of a hate crime here?”

Customer: “They asked me to get in line!”

Officer: “And?”

Customer: “I never have to get in line!” 

Officer: “And?”

Customer: “Well… I am feeling discriminated against!”

Officer: “That’s it?”

Customer: “Well… I was the only white customer!”

Officer: “Okay, well, ma’am, what you experienced wasn’t a hate crime or discrimination. I believe it’s called ‘waiting your d*** turn’. You’re lucky I don’t fine you for wasting police time. My partner and I are going to leave now, and you’re going to apologize to these nice workers and buy your sandwich in peace.”

The customer mumbles an apology but leaves without picking up her sandwich.

Officer: *To me* “I’ve seen hate crimes. That woman just didn’t get her way for the first time in her privileged little life and didn’t like it one bit. Call us if she comes back and wants to make a scene.”

Me: “Thank you, officers!”

Luckily for us, she didn’t come back. I got to eat her discrimination sandwich.

Related:
You’ve Lived A Privileged Life If You Think THIS Is Discrimination, Part 3
You’ve Lived A Privileged Life If You Think THIS Is Discrimination, Part 2
You’ve Lived A Privileged Life If You Think THIS Is Discrimination

Some people are so entitled that their worldview collapses when they’re not getting their way for the first time ever. You can see it happening again in these 10 Shocking Stories About The Most Entitled Customers Ever!

Customer: “I want your twelve-inch ‘Meat Explosion’ sub.”

I go through the process of constructing the sandwich in front of him, adding the beef, chicken, and pork, as well as all of the sauces and veggies.

Me: “Okay, that’ll be [price].”

Customer: “Oh, but I am a vegetarian. You made it vegetarian, right?”

I admit, I laugh out loud because I think the customer is joking. It turns out he is not.

Me: “Sir, the sub is called the ‘Meat Explosion’.”

Customer: “But I want the vegetarian version.”

Me: “There isn’t a vegetarian version of the ‘Meat Explosion’, sir.”

Customer: “You’re just being lazy! I want the vegetarian version!”

I am at the end of a very long shift after working fifteen days in a row because we are drastically understaffed (The Great Resignation and all that). I started working for this sandwich chain on the understanding that I wouldn’t interact with customers that much because I can’t handle stupidity very tactfully. I snap.

Me: “Sir… are you a f****** moron?”

Customer: “How dare you speak to me that way?! Where is your manager?!”

The manager is called over, and she is about as done with this situation as I am.

Manager: “What would you like me to do to make this right, sir?”

Customer: “Well, an apology, for starters!”

Manager: “You’re absolutely right, sir, you do deserve an apology. On behalf of [Store], I would like to say how sorry we all are that you don’t realize just how monumentally and prodigiously stupid you are, and you have our pity. It can’t be easy going through life as a moron.”

Customer: “You are all going to be fired!”

The customer marches out and I am staring at my manager, who has never looked more glorious.

Manager: “Meh… I don’t give a f*** anymore. Let him complain. I’ll just tell them that you can only deal with so much stupid before you do something stupid yourself.”

Over a year later, we’re both still very much employed.

Related:
Sub-Standard Sub-Service, Part 7
Sub-Standard Sub-Service, Part 6
Sub-Standard Sub-Service, Part 5
Sub-Standard Sub-Service, Part 4
Sub-Standard Sub-Service, Part 3