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    Chipping Away At A Translation

    | USA | Family & Kids, Language & Words, Theme Of The Month

    (I am eating lunch in the lobby of my store, having a sandwich and a bag of chips, when a Spanish-speaking family walks in with a three-year-old boy. As they order, he walks a few feet over to me and points at my bag of chips. I don’t speak any Spanish.)

    Little Boy: *pointing at my chips, saying something in Spanish*

    Me: “Sorry, sweetie, these are mine. Maybe your mommy can get you some?”

    (The little boy is pointing more furiously now, repeating a phrase I don’t understand.)

    Me: “I’ll let you have some of mine if your mommy says it’s okay. I don’t want to give you anything you’re not allowed to have.”

    (The little boy repeats the phrase again. This time, his teenage sister, standing in line, rushes over and pulls him away.)

    Sister: “I’m so sorry!”

    Me: “Oh, that’s okay! If it’s okay for him to have some he can—”

    (By this point she has dragged the little boy to the other side of the store, where his parents are paying. I finish my break and go into the back to put away my purse and grab my apron. My Spanish-speaking coworker rushes over to me.)

    Coworker: “Are you okay?”

    Me: “Yeah, why?”

    Coworker: “You didn’t hear what he was saying to you?”

    Me: “I figured he wanted some of my chips.”

    Coworker: “Yeah, then he started calling you a f****** a**-hole!”

    His Hearing Is Run Of The Mill

    | MD, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    Customer: “Can I get a chicken salad sandwich on wheat?”

    Me: “Sure, big or small?”

    Customer: “Wheat.”

    Me: “Big or small?”

    Customer: “WHEAT!”

    Me: “Big or small—”

    Customer: “WHEAT!”

    Me: *quickly and loudly* “Size, what size, big or small—”

    Customer: “WHEAT! Wait, what are you asking me?”

    Me: “Big. Or. Small. Size?”

    Customer: “Oh, just a smaller one. Sorry, I thought you were asking me wheat or white!”

    Deaf To Reason

    | USA | Bizarre, Musical Mayhem, Technology

    (I am taking orders face to face with a tablet. There is live music and a ton of people, so it’s loud. Customers constantly cannot hear me, so I start out most interactions with a strong, loud voice.)

    Me: “Hi, ma’am, what can I get for you?”

    Customer: “Uh, a turkey sandwich?”

    Me: “All right! Did you want the large or original size?”

    Customer: *louder than me* “You don’t have to yell!”

    Me: *lowers down to a normal volume* “Sorry, ma’am, did you want the big or small size?”

    Customer: “Huh?” *leans down close to hear me*

    On A Roll About The Roll

    | USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

    (My boyfriend and I are at our regular grocery store. We always get in this particular cashier’s line when she’s working because we connect on a “we both work with customers daily and it’s awful” level. The customer ahead of us is giving her a hard time.)

    Customer: “This should only be $1.50!”

    Cashier: “It’s ringing up as $2.00. You may have picked up the wrong item.”

    Customer: “No! This is on special! It said it was on sale.”

    Cashier: “Hold on please; I’ll check with the bakery.”

    (The customer pouts as the cashier calls on the phone nearby. We only hear her half of the conversation. She gives an item number and describes the item.)

    Cashier: “There is a special on this item, but not in this packaging. This has six rolls in it; the one on sale has four. It’s not even a big difference; you’re paying 50 cents more for two more rolls.”

    Customer: “That’s not right!”

    Cashier: “I just called the bakery. I just checked. You can put this back and get the one on sale or you can get this one.”

    Customer: “Okay. Okay, just this, okay, fine, fine, fine.”

    (The cashier finishes with the customer. The customer walks away.)

    My Boyfriend: *grins* “Just another day, huh?”

    Cashier: “Seriously. 50 cents for two more rolls. Oh, hey look. She’s going over to customer service.”

    (We all look over as she brings up her receipt and more or less yells at the representative. She points over to our cashier and we watch the representative get on a phone.)

    Cashier: “Great, looks like she’ll be getting that discount. The manager always caves in to these people.”

    (My boyfriend and I simultaneously groan.)

    Me: “We know how that is.”

    Cashier: “I have to stop myself from yelling at these people. I tell myself, I love my job! I really do. I really… really do. Really.”

    No Meat In Their Brain

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Top

    (I’m waiting in line to get a sandwich when I overhear this conversation between a customer in line ahead of me and the employee behind the counter.)

    Customer: “What kind of meat comes on the vegetarian sub?”

    Employee: “Uh… the vegetarian sub doesn’t have any meat on it, ma’am. That’s why it’s called the vegetarian sub.”

    Customer: “Well, that sounds bland and boring as h***. Who the h*** would eat that?”

    Employee: “A vegetarian?”

    Customer: “Well I’m a vegetarian, and I wouldn’t eat a sub with no meat on it!”

    Employee: “Uh… how can you be a vegetarian if you eat meat, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Huh? What are you talking about?”

    Employee: “Vegetarians are people who don’t eat meat.”

    Customer: *snorts* “No they’re not, you idiot! A vegetarian is just someone who likes vegetables! It doesn’t mean you can’t eat meat too!”

    Employee: “I’m pretty sure it means someone who ONLY eats vegetables, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Whatever. I’m never eating here again. If you’re too f****** stupid to understand what a vegetarian is, you’d probably screw up my sandwich anyway!” *storms out*


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