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    Deaf To Reason

    | USA | Bizarre, Musical Mayhem, Technology

    (I am taking orders face to face with a tablet. There is live music and a ton of people, so it’s loud. Customers constantly cannot hear me, so I start out most interactions with a strong, loud voice.)

    Me: “Hi, ma’am, what can I get for you?”

    Customer: “Uh, a turkey sandwich?”

    Me: “All right! Did you want the large or original size?”

    Customer: *louder than me* “You don’t have to yell!”

    Me: *lowers down to a normal volume* “Sorry, ma’am, did you want the big or small size?”

    Customer: “Huh?” *leans down close to hear me*

    On A Roll About The Roll

    | USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

    (My boyfriend and I are at our regular grocery store. We always get in this particular cashier’s line when she’s working because we connect on a “we both work with customers daily and it’s awful” level. The customer ahead of us is giving her a hard time.)

    Customer: “This should only be $1.50!”

    Cashier: “It’s ringing up as $2.00. You may have picked up the wrong item.”

    Customer: “No! This is on special! It said it was on sale.”

    Cashier: “Hold on please; I’ll check with the bakery.”

    (The customer pouts as the cashier calls on the phone nearby. We only hear her half of the conversation. She gives an item number and describes the item.)

    Cashier: “There is a special on this item, but not in this packaging. This has six rolls in it; the one on sale has four. It’s not even a big difference; you’re paying 50 cents more for two more rolls.”

    Customer: “That’s not right!”

    Cashier: “I just called the bakery. I just checked. You can put this back and get the one on sale or you can get this one.”

    Customer: “Okay. Okay, just this, okay, fine, fine, fine.”

    (The cashier finishes with the customer. The customer walks away.)

    My Boyfriend: *grins* “Just another day, huh?”

    Cashier: “Seriously. 50 cents for two more rolls. Oh, hey look. She’s going over to customer service.”

    (We all look over as she brings up her receipt and more or less yells at the representative. She points over to our cashier and we watch the representative get on a phone.)

    Cashier: “Great, looks like she’ll be getting that discount. The manager always caves in to these people.”

    (My boyfriend and I simultaneously groan.)

    Me: “We know how that is.”

    Cashier: “I have to stop myself from yelling at these people. I tell myself, I love my job! I really do. I really… really do. Really.”

    No Meat In Their Brain

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Top

    (I’m waiting in line to get a sandwich when I overhear this conversation between a customer in line ahead of me and the employee behind the counter.)

    Customer: “What kind of meat comes on the vegetarian sub?”

    Employee: “Uh… the vegetarian sub doesn’t have any meat on it, ma’am. That’s why it’s called the vegetarian sub.”

    Customer: “Well, that sounds bland and boring as h***. Who the h*** would eat that?”

    Employee: “A vegetarian?”

    Customer: “Well I’m a vegetarian, and I wouldn’t eat a sub with no meat on it!”

    Employee: “Uh… how can you be a vegetarian if you eat meat, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Huh? What are you talking about?”

    Employee: “Vegetarians are people who don’t eat meat.”

    Customer: *snorts* “No they’re not, you idiot! A vegetarian is just someone who likes vegetables! It doesn’t mean you can’t eat meat too!”

    Employee: “I’m pretty sure it means someone who ONLY eats vegetables, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Whatever. I’m never eating here again. If you’re too f****** stupid to understand what a vegetarian is, you’d probably screw up my sandwich anyway!” *storms out*

    A Gruel-ing Customer, Part 2

    | OR, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Money

    (I am the supervisor on duty at a soup and sandwich shop. It is in the evening, so we are very slow. I am counting down one of the tills, while my coworker is ringing up a customer. The customer completes his order, and it is handed out to him a few minutes later.)

    Customer: *to my co-worker* “Um, miss, I ordered soup, and there is no soup in here.”

    (My coworker pulls up the receipt to double-check, though we both know he did not order any soup.)

    Coworker: “I apologize; you did not order the soup. However, I can have it out to you in just a moment. I’ll add it to your sandwich so you will only have to pay the combo price of one dollar for it.”

    Customer: “I don’t have enough money for that. I think I should get it free.”

    (My coworker glances at me awkwardly, so I decide to step in.)

    Me: “Sir, she is just adding on the amount you would have paid had you included the soup in your first order. If you order a sandwich, soup is just a dollar extra. So she is only charging you what you would have been charged in the first place.”

    Customer: “I understand that, but it wasn’t in my first order so I shouldn’t have to pay for it. Plus I don’t have enough to pay for it.”

    Me: “Sir, I was standing here for your entire order. No one else has ordered since you. While I understand it was a simple mistake, you did not order soup. However, we are not charging you full price which would be $2.50 for a cup of soup; we are charging you a dollar. So to be fair, you are still getting the same deal you would have gotten.”

    Customer: “Right. But I only have the $7.50 for the sandwich.”

    Me: “…so no matter what, you wouldn’t have been able to afford the soup?”

    Customer: “Right. But you didn’t include it in the first order, so I want it free.”

    Me: “But if you had ordered it in your first order, you wouldn’t have been able to afford it. We would not have been able to include it anyway.”

    Customer: “Look. This isn’t hard. I just want the soup for free.”

    Me: “I’m just supposed to give you soup free because you can’t afford it?”

    Customer: “Will it help if I tell you my friend is sick, and she really wants this soup?”

    Me: “Not at this point, sorry.”

    Customer: “Fine, whatever…”

    Related:
    A Gruel-ing Customer

    Flying Off The Handle Will Get You Handled

    | USA | Food & Drink, Money

    (I handle our catering and delivery orders at my store. A customer wants her check split between two credit cards. The second card number doesn’t work. Unless it’s fixed before the driver leaves, we cannot send a receipt with the driver. The customer doesn’t answer when I call, or return my call before the driver leaves. The customer later calls, but she never got my message, and actually would like to place another order for the next day. I finish up with the order for tomorrow,before bringing up today’s order.)

    Me: “While I have you, I actually called earlier and left a message. We had an issue with your charges today. Did you receive my message?”

    Customer: “Oh? No, I’m out of my office.”

    Me: “No problem, ma’am. We had a small problem with one of your card numbers; whoever you spoke to may have copied it down incorrectly. The driver will be unable to bring you a physical copy of the receipt today, because we were unable to charge the card before he left. We will still be able to split the payment, and fax over a copy of your receipt for your records after he returns.”

    (We go over the card numbers, and she gives me the number I needed. Whoever copied it added an extra zero into it.)

    Me: “Thank you, ma’am. When our driver returns, I can fax over a copy of this receipt.”

    Customer: “Can you e-mail the receipt?”

    Me: “We can’t really e-mail receipts. They don’t show up in our system for a few days and we don’t really have a professional method of e-mailing them.”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t really have a fax number right now. Can I just call tomorrow with a fax number, and you can do it tomorrow?”

    Me: “Sure, if that works for you, that’s fine.”

    (When the driver returns, I split the payment and everything is fine. The next day, my coworker talks to the same woman on the phone when she calls to give us her fax number.)

    Customer: “I’m very upset. I had to go through a lot of trouble to get my payment split yesterday.”

    Coworker: “Unfortunately, our system isn’t designed to split payments, so it’s a little involved to make it work. I’m sorry you had so much trouble; what actually happened?”

    Customer: “Well, I just wanted my payment split between two cards. It’s not difficult!”

    Coworker: “Splitting a payment is not a normal function in our system. I’m sorry if you had some issues yesterday, but it seems to have worked out fine in the end.”

    Customer: “Yes, well—”

    Coworker: “I mean, was anything else wrong with your order? Was it late, or was the food not good?”

    Customer: “No, it was on time. The food was fine.”

    Coworker: “Did we forget anything with your order? You seem to have liked it enough to order with us again today, which we of course were happy to see.”

    Customer: “Well, no, nothing was wrong with the order.”

    Coworker: “So it was just getting your payment split that was a problem?”

    Customer: “I was told that I could have my receipt e-mailed to me.”

    Coworker: “I don’t know who you spoke to, but we aren’t readily able to e-mail receipts. They don’t show up in the system for a day or two and faxing them is really the fastest way to get them to you.”

    Customer: “Well, this has just been such a hassle. I’m going to want to speak to a manager about this problem.”

    Coworker: “Well, I am a manager, ma’am. What is it that I can help you with?”

    Customer: “Oh… Well, that girl that I spoke to yesterday about this, she just really didn’t seem like she knew what she was doing at all.”

    Coworker: “From what you’ve told me, she did everything exactly as she was supposed to do it. As I’ve said, splitting payments is not a normal function on our system.”

    Customer: “I don’t know about that. She just seemed all over the place and unorganized. I think you really should talk to her about getting her act together.”

    Coworker: “Well, ma’am, I really cannot see anything that she did incorrectly that I would need to speak with her about. Your order’s payments are accurately in the system, and split right down the middle. Is there anything else that I could do for you?”

    Customer: “No, I guess not. Thank you.”

    Coworker: “Thank you, ma’am. We’re happy that you enjoyed your lunch these past two days! Have a great day!”

    (Later, I fax over her finalized receipt, with everything charged just the way she wanted it. I haven’t heard back from her yet!)


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