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    Faced With The Obvious

    | SK, Canada | Bizarre

    (A late middle-aged customer comes in while I’m in the back, so I walk up to the front, putting gloves on as I go. He’s standing slightly far back from the counter, though, so I’m not sure if he’s ready to order.)

    Me: “Hi, there! Can I help you?”

    Customer: “Well, I didn’t come in just to stare at your pretty face, sweetheart!”

    Not Too Chicken To Confront About The Chicken

    , | Lethbridge, AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I’m ordering on a busy day at a popular sandwich chain.)

    Me: “I’ll have the egg and cheese, please.”

    (The worker puts an egg patty on my sandwich.)

    Lady Behind Me: “Ew! Gross! What is that? WHY would you EAT that?”

    Me: “Oh, it’s just an egg patty. They’re pretty tasty, actually.”

    Lady Behind Me: *grumbles* “Gross.”

    (I don’t think anything more of her until it is her time to order.)

    Lady Behind Me: “Now, I want a chicken sandwich. But not that chicken. That chicken looks too pink. Do you have anything fresher and more well-cooked?”

    Worker: “No, sorry, that’s the only chicken we have.”

    Lady Behind Me: “FINE. But if I get food poisoning I’m coming back to sue you PERSONALLY. Now, I want two and a half slices of cheese on the bottom of my sandwich.”

    (The worker starts putting cheese on.)

    Lady Behind Me: “I said on the bottom!” *now screaming* “ON. THE. BOTTOM. HOW IS THAT SO HARD?!”

    (I am now biting my tongue, despite being pretty shy about speaking to strangers. The worker moves the lady’s sandwich to the vegetables section.)

    Lady Behind Me: “I want some shredded lettuce.”

    (The worker puts a handful of lettuce on.)

    Lady Behind Me: “More.”

    (The worker adds another handful.)

    Lady Behind Me: Less.

    (The worker takes some off.)

    Lady Behind Me: “More.”

    Me: “OH, MY GOD. Go home and make your own f****** sandwich! There’s a grocery store next door. Go buy your own cheese and your own chicken and your own stupid lettuce and quit harassing the employees! As a bonus, you won’t have to look at ‘gross’ food like mine!”

    (The customers who had been stuck behind her applaud slowly. The lady turns beet red and storms out, leaving her sandwich. The next customer points at me.)

    Next Customer: “I’d like to pay for her sandwich, please!”

    Talking Turkey About Cold Cuts

    | Charleston, SC, USA | Food & Drink, Money

    (It is just after one of the months where all of our sandwiches were $5. The promotion is over, so now only a few regular sandwiches are $5. I ring up a woman’s foot-long turkey sub and the total came out to about $6.)

    Female Customer: “No, it’s supposed to be $5.”

    Me: “Oh, no, I’m sorry. That promotion is over. The prices are back to normal.”

    Female Customer: “But that sign says cold cuts are $5.”

    Me: “No, it says the cold cut combo is $5.”

    Female Customer: “Turkey is a cold cut.”

    Me: “Okay, but it’s not a cold cut combo. That’s a completely different sandwich.”

    Female Customer: “Turkey is a cold cut!”

    Me: “…”

    Female Customer: “You’re just trying to trick all of us! Turkey is a cold cut!”

    (She then proceeded to storm off without her sandwich and yelled at me she hoped I was happy I had lost her business. Yeah, the person making $7.25 really cares about the store losing a customer.)

    Way Off The Menu

    , | UT, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

    (I work at a well-known sandwich shop chain and we have a limited menu. It’s a little slow and I’m with my coworker and shift manager. A homeless man walks into our shop.)

    Everyone: “Hi! Welcome to [Shop]!”

    Coworker: “What can I get for you today?”

    Customer: “You guys got any pastrami?”

    Coworker: “I’m sorry, sir, unfortunately we only have [lists the meats on our menu].”

    Customer: “What about steak?”

    Coworker: “We do not sir, I’m sorry.”

    Customer: “Well, what do you have here?”

    Coworker: *lists all of our sandwiches and sides, which include cookies*

    Customer: “Well, then can I get a turkey? And be sure to toast it.”

    Coworker: “We actually don’t toast our sandwiches. They only come cold.”

    Customer: “Fine. Whatever. Can I get a bowl of soup to get with that as well?”

    Coworker: “Sir, again, we only have [lists side items].”

    Customer: “What kind of sandwich shop is this?!”

    (My manager and I have been waiting on the line to make his sandwich and hear everything.)

    Manager: “Sir, [Another Sandwich shop] is just up the road. If you go there I know they have all the things you requested.”

    Customer: “NO! I WANT TO EAT HERE!”

    Manager: “Sir, we have told you the menu—”

    Customer: “WELL, I DON’T LIKE YOUR MENU! YOU NEED MORE THINGS!”

    Manager: “Sir, I have suggested another shop that can satisfy you and you rejected it. You can order something off our menu, or you can leave.”

    Customer: “FINE!” *orders sandwich*

    Coworker: “Would you like a cookie with that?”

    Customer: “Ya, got any macadamia?”

    Coworker: “We only have chocolate and oatmeal.”

    Customer: “What about sugar?”

    Manager: “Sir, those are our only choices.”

    Customer: “This place is so stupid! Fine; I’ll have oatmeal.”

    (We make his sandwich and wrap it up for him and just want him to leave.)

    Customer: “This place is so stupid! I knew I should’ve gone to [Shop my manager recommended earlier].” *leaves*

    Me: “He didn’t have to eat here!”

    Manager: “I need a minute. I’ll be back.”

    (My manager needed a few minutes to cool down before the dinner rush. Luckily we didn’t have any more incidences and we never saw him again.)

    Not So Closed Minded, Part 7

    | VA, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

    (About half an hour before we close, we get a sudden rush of customers, leading to us being unable to lock the doors once it’s time to close. Five minutes after closing, we only have one family left in the store to finish serving when another man walks in.)

    Supervisor: “Sir, I’m sorry. We’re closed.”

    Customer: *continues toward register*

    Supervisor: “Sir, we’re closing!”

    Customer: *stops to look at chips*

    Supervisor: “Sir! I’m sorry, but we’re in the process of closing.”

    Customer: *walks to register*

    Supervisor: *now standing directly in front of customer* “Sir, I’m sorry. We’re not taking orders now. We’re closed.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. Um… I’ll take a large ham and turkey—”

    Supervisor: “Sir! I’m sorry, but we closed five minutes ago. You’ll need to come back tomorrow.”

    Customer: “Oh. Well, you should have said something.” *walks out*

    (As soon as the previous customer’s food was ready and they were out, I ran at full sprint to the door and locked it.)

    Related:
    Not Very Closed Minded, Part 6
    Not Very Closed Minded, Part 5
    Not Very Closed Minded, Part 4

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