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    Math Is Your Friend, Part 2

    | Ohio, USA |

    (I used to work at a sandwich shop. We were having a special where you could get four or more of our smaller sandwiches for $2.99 each. Some customers don’t understand the concept of simple.)

    Customer: “Do you have any specials today?”

    Me: “Yes, you can get four or more 6″ subs for $2.99 each.”

    Customer: “Do I have to get four?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “Why? I’ll only be able to eat one.”

    Me: “The computer won’t let me ring up the deal unless you order four or more sandwiches.”

    Customer: “Okay, then I’ll get four turkeys.”

    (The customer goes through his sandwich-topping business, and we finally make it to the register.)

    Me: “Okay, four 6″s comes to $11.96.”

    Customer: “I thought they were only $2.99 each.”

    Me: “They are. Four times $2.99 is $11.96.”

    Customer: “I think you’re charging me too much. Can I see a receipt?”

    Me: *prints a receipt*

    Customer: “Your prices are wrong, I know it!”

    (I take out a calculator and does the math. It comes out to $11.96.)

    Customer: “Oh…I still don’t understand, but whatever!” *pays and leaves*

    Related:
    This Is Why Math Is Your Friend

    Natural Selection In Action

    , | New Jersey, USA |

    (A man walks in and is very excited about getting a cheese steak.)

    Customer: “Let me get everything on that, but no tomatoes!”

    Me: “Don’t worry, it doesn’t come with tomatoes.”

    Customer: “Good! No tomatoes though, man. Absolutely no tomatoes! I’m allergic to tomatoes, man.”

    Me: “Not a problem.”

    Customer: “Good. Just make sure there’s no tomatoes ’cause I’m really allergic to them and I could die. If you put tomatoes on there it will kill me!”

    Me: “Okay…”

    Customer: “Now let me get extra ketchup.”

    Me: “…”

    SpecifiCity, USA

    , | Connecticut, USA |

    (I work at a sandwich shop. I have conversations like this every day. Mind you, he has a line of twelve other customers behind him. Also note that Hearty Italian only describes the type of bread.)

    Customer: “I’d like a six inch hearty italian.”

    Me: *gets bread* “What would you like on that?”

    Customer: “Six inch hearty italian.”

    Me: “What would you like ON it?”

    Customer: “Hearty italian.”

    Me: “What kind of sandwich is it?”

    Customer: “Six inch.”

    Me: *heavy sigh* “Oooookay then…”

    Related:
    DE TING, DE TING!!!

    Ah, Parents…

    , | Rhode Island, USA | Family & Kids, Top

    (The phone rings at around 6-ish.)

    Me: “Hello, this is D-…”

    (I hear loud crying in the background.)

    Man: “Hello, Disney World? I’m just calling to say that if my children don’t finish their vegetables in the next five minutes, we won’t be visiting you this year.”

    Me: “I…er…what?”

    Man: *whispering* “Thank you.” *click*

    There’s A Turkey Alright, But It’s Standing In Line

    | San Diego, CA, USA |

    Customer: “Hello, can I please get a turkey burger?”

    Me: “You mean a turkey sandwich?”

    Customer: “No, I mean a turkey burger!”

    Me: “Miss, we don’t sell turkey burgers here.”

    (Another customer orders a soy patty.)

    Customer: “Don’t lie to me! That woman just got one!”

    Me: “That is a soy patty.”

    Customer: “DON’T F***ING LIE TO ME!”

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