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    My Husband, The Mind Reader

    , | Savoy, IL, USA | Top

    (I am almost done making a customer’s sandwich and I ask if she would like anything else on it…)

    Lady: “Yeah, just put whatever else you normally put on it.”

    Me: “Well, I can put on whatever you want me to put on. We don’t have anything that we put on every sandwich. In fact, most are rarely ever the same.”

    Lady: “Look, you don’t have to get smart! Just put whatever else you put on it.”

    Me: “Well, what do you want on it?”

    Lady: “That stuff that you always put on these!”

    Me: “If you just say what it is you want, I will put it on for you.”

    Lady: “That stuff you always put on it!”

    (The lady’s husband walks over.)

    Lady’s husband: “She wants pepper.”

    Tits Hard To Think When The Weather’s Nipply

    , | United Kingdom |

    Customer: “Can I get a chicken sandwich?”

    Me: “Sure. Which bread would you like it on?”

    Customer: “Chicken.”

    Me: “…Uh, okay, but which bread?”

    Customer: “Chicken.”

    Me: “Sir, which bread would you like?”

    Customer: “CHICKEN!”

    Me: *pointing at the bread* “Bread!”

    Customer: “Oh, bread! I thought you were saying breast.”

    (I don’t know whether to hate my accent or the types of customers we get late at night.)

    Math Is Your Friend, Part 2

    | Ohio, USA |

    (I used to work at a sandwich shop. We were having a special where you could get four or more of our smaller sandwiches for $2.99 each. Some customers don’t understand the concept of simple.)

    Customer: “Do you have any specials today?”

    Me: “Yes, you can get four or more 6″ subs for $2.99 each.”

    Customer: “Do I have to get four?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “Why? I’ll only be able to eat one.”

    Me: “The computer won’t let me ring up the deal unless you order four or more sandwiches.”

    Customer: “Okay, then I’ll get four turkeys.”

    (The customer goes through his sandwich-topping business, and we finally make it to the register.)

    Me: “Okay, four 6″s comes to $11.96.”

    Customer: “I thought they were only $2.99 each.”

    Me: “They are. Four times $2.99 is $11.96.”

    Customer: “I think you’re charging me too much. Can I see a receipt?”

    Me: *prints a receipt*

    Customer: “Your prices are wrong, I know it!”

    (I take out a calculator and does the math. It comes out to $11.96.)

    Customer: “Oh…I still don’t understand, but whatever!” *pays and leaves*

    Related:
    This Is Why Math Is Your Friend

    Natural Selection In Action

    , | New Jersey, USA |

    (A man walks in and is very excited about getting a cheese steak.)

    Customer: “Let me get everything on that, but no tomatoes!”

    Me: “Don’t worry, it doesn’t come with tomatoes.”

    Customer: “Good! No tomatoes though, man. Absolutely no tomatoes! I’m allergic to tomatoes, man.”

    Me: “Not a problem.”

    Customer: “Good. Just make sure there’s no tomatoes ’cause I’m really allergic to them and I could die. If you put tomatoes on there it will kill me!”

    Me: “Okay…”

    Customer: “Now let me get extra ketchup.”

    Me: “…”

    SpecifiCity, USA

    , | Connecticut, USA |

    (I work at a sandwich shop. I have conversations like this every day. Mind you, he has a line of twelve other customers behind him. Also note that Hearty Italian only describes the type of bread.)

    Customer: “I’d like a six inch hearty italian.”

    Me: *gets bread* “What would you like on that?”

    Customer: “Six inch hearty italian.”

    Me: “What would you like ON it?”

    Customer: “Hearty italian.”

    Me: “What kind of sandwich is it?”

    Customer: “Six inch.”

    Me: *heavy sigh* “Oooookay then…”

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    DE TING, DE TING!!!

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