November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Ix Nay On The Eesh Squeesh

| Fort Collins, CO, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Do you want anything else with your sandwich?”

Customer: “Peppers, olives, and eesh squeesh.”

Me: “…Excuse me?”

Customer: “Peppers, olives, eesh squeesh.”

Me: “Eesh squeesh? ”

Customer: “Yeah, eesh squeesh. Right there.” *points at the onions*

Me: “You mean onions?”

Customer: “Yeah, eesh squeesh.”

Now Made With Real Vegetarians

, | Hull, UK | Uncategorized

Customer: “There is no pasta in my pastarami sandwich, just some meat.”

Me: “It’s Pastrami, peppered beef–not pastarami.”

Customer: “Oh, can I change it please? I’m vegetarian.”

Paging Dr. Cold Cut

| Laramie, WY, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Would you like chips or a drink with your sandwich?”

Customer: *surprised* “What?!”

Me: “Would you like chips or a drink?”

Customer: *shocked* “What did you say?”

Me: *slowly* “I asked if you would like to have chips or a drink with your sandwich.”

Customer: “OOOOOOH! I thought you asked if I would like to have surgery with my sub!”

Finally, Mayonnaise That Burns Calories

, | Rincon, GA, USA | Uncategorized

(A lady comes into our sandwich shop and orders a sub. Everything is normal until…)

Customer: “Could I get mayonnaise?”

Me: “Sure”.

(I put the mayonnaise on the sandwich.)

Customer: *orgasm noise* “Mooooore.”

Me: “Okay…”

Customer: *orgasm noise* “More mayonnaise!”

(I honestly think a little bit of my spirit died that day.)

Every Time A Bell Rings, A Crazy Customer Appears

| Phoenix, AZ, USA | Uncategorized

(Our sandwich shop has a bell that hangs above the door to notify us when customers enter and exit. One day, a woman came into our shop, making the bell ring.)

Customer: “Oh! What a nice bell!”

Me: “Oh, thank you, ma’am! Welcome to ****.”

(Instead of approaching me to make her order, the woman proceeds to open and close the door repeatedly, causing the bell to ring each time.)

Me: “…um…”

Customer: “This is so wonderful! Such a wonderful sound. I could do this all day!”

Me: “Er, ma’am, would you like to order anything?”

(By now, all of the other customers are staring at her. She suddenly stops.)

Customer: “What? Oh, no, thank you! I was just leaving.” *exits*

Me: “…really?”

Manager: *from the back room* “Make sure we aren’t running out of stuff for all the people that just came in!”