Random Acts of Specificity

, | Fort Collins, CO, USA |

Me: “What else do you want?”

Customer: “Peppers.”

Me: “Which kind?”

Customer: “… Peppers.”

Me: “We have three kinds of peppers not including salt and pepper. Which kind of these do you want?”

Customer: “PEPPERS.”

Me: “Do you want banana peppers, jalapeno peppers, or green peppers?”

Customer: “PEP-PERS.”

Me: “Do you want these?” *holds up the green peppers*

Customer: “Yes, those! Jesus Christ, don’t you guys know what a green pepper is?!”

We Have Confirmation

, | Newington, CT, USA |

(Our credit card machine went down, and we started to make signs for the doors alerting the customers to this. Before the signs were up, I had to ring up a customer’s order.)

Me: “The total is ****. I’m sorry; our credit card machine is down.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t see any signs!”

Me: “The machine just broke five minutes ago while you were still in line. I was just telling my coworker to make signs a moment ago….”

Customer: “I don’t have enough cash. How about debit?”

Me: “Well, debit would use the same machine as the credit cards, but either way our store does not accept debit. Just cash today.”

Customer: “How about a check?”

Me: “Sorry, no personal checks. Just cash today.”

Customer: *getting upset now* “Well, what do you expect me to do?”

Me: “The last customer went next door to use the ATM to get cash.”

Customer: “You’re being extremely rude, you know!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m just trying to explain to you that the credit card machine is down.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t listen!”

Me: “…”

It Was Only A Suggestion

, | Norcross, GA, USA |

Me: “All right sir, here’s your meal.”

Customer: “Thanks a lot!”

Me: “Have a nice day.”

Customer: *serious* “Don’t tell me what to do!”

That’s A Talented Cow

, | Elmira, NY, USA |

Me: “What can I get for you?”

Customer: “I’ll have a turkey sub. No. Ham. I’ll have a ham and cheese sub.”

Me: “What kind of cheese would you like?”

Customer: “Bologna.”

Leave The Jingles At Home, Please

, | Connecticut, USA |

Customer: *singing and dancing* “FIVE! FIVE DOLLAR! FIVE DOLLAR FOOT LONG!”

Me: “For that, I am charging you double.”

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