Every Time A Bell Rings, A Crazy Customer Appears

| Phoenix, AZ, USA | Uncategorized

(Our sandwich shop has a bell that hangs above the door to notify us when customers enter and exit. One day, a woman came into our shop, making the bell ring.)

Customer: “Oh! What a nice bell!”

Me: “Oh, thank you, ma’am! Welcome to ****.”

(Instead of approaching me to make her order, the woman proceeds to open and close the door repeatedly, causing the bell to ring each time.)

Me: “…um…”

Customer: “This is so wonderful! Such a wonderful sound. I could do this all day!”

Me: “Er, ma’am, would you like to order anything?”

(By now, all of the other customers are staring at her. She suddenly stops.)

Customer: “What? Oh, no, thank you! I was just leaving.” *exits*

Me: “…really?”

Manager: *from the back room* “Make sure we aren’t running out of stuff for all the people that just came in!”

Plastic, Scamtastic

| Minneapolis, MN, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hi, what can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Three sandwiches.”

Me: “Okay, what kind?”

Customer: “Umm… what’s that kind?” *points at a sign behind me*

(I turn around to see what he’s talking about. When I turn back around, I see the man taking off out the side door with our display sandwich.)

Me: “Good luck eating your plastic sandwich!”

One Scamwich, Coming Right Up

| Texas, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Yeah, we were in earlier and ordered 2 turkey sandwiches, a ham sandwich and a club sandwich, all a foot long. There were flies in them so I want you to give me a refund.”

Manager: “There were flies in your sandwiches?”

Customer: “Yes, it was gross. I want my money back!”

Manager: “Well, where are the sandwiches? Why didn’t you bring them right back?”

Customer: “I was already home by the time we opened them.”

Manager: “Well, do you have your receipt?”

Customer: “No! I just want my money back, there were flies in my sandwiches!”

Manager: “Sir, I’m going to have to check and make sure there was an order that matches before I can see about a refund.”

Customer: “…huh?” *long pause, then hurries out of the store*

The Only Thing Toasted Is His Mind

, | Commerce Township, MI, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “I don’t want my sandwich toasted.”

Me: “No problem, sir. We actually don’t have a toaster here, so you don’t have to worry.”

Customer: “OH YES YOU DO! The last sandwich I got was toasted!”

Me: “Um. Are you sure it was from this store?”

Customer: “Yes. It was from this exact store, and it was toasted so bad I almost couldn’t eat it.”

Me: “I’m not sure how that’s possible, sir. We honestly don’t have a toaster, and we never have.”

Customer: “Oh, so now I don’t know what toasted bread looks like?”

Me: “I–”

Customer: “The top of my bread was brown. And do you know what makes bread brown?”

Me: “The crust?”

Customer: “A TOASTER!”

(Seriously, no toaster. Ever. At all.)

Random Acts of Specificity

, | Fort Collins, CO, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “What else do you want?”

Customer: “Peppers.”

Me: “Which kind?”

Customer: “… Peppers.”

Me: “We have three kinds of peppers not including salt and pepper. Which kind of these do you want?”

Customer: “PEPPERS.”

Me: “Do you want banana peppers, jalapeno peppers, or green peppers?”

Customer: “PEP-PERS.”

Me: “Do you want these?” *holds up the green peppers*

Customer: “Yes, those! Jesus Christ, don’t you guys know what a green pepper is?!”

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