November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

The Fruit Salad Doesn’t Fall Very Far From The Tree

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I’m serving a mother and her young son.)

Me: *to son* “What salads would you like on your sub?”

Mother: “Oh, he won’t eat salads. I don’t know why!”

Me: “That’s okay. Would you like any salads on your sub?”

Mother: “Oh, no, I don’t eat salad.”

Me: “…”

He’s Never Going To Ketchup

| CO, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(We have ketchup packets upon request.)

Customer: “I will also like some ketchup.”

Me: “We don’t have any, but we do have packets.”

Customer: “That’s all right.”

(We hand him the packets to put on his sandwich. Five minutes later he walks up.)

Customer: “These don’t work.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Your ketchup packets.”

(He had literally put the ketchup packets INSIDE his sandwich.)

Set Up To Be Upset

| USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I answer our phone at work. A customer wants to place a catering order. After working with her to copy down her order, she asks for a total. I have to go through a longer process to actually enter the order into our system, so I call her back.)

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name]. I’m calling to let you know your total will be [price].”

Customer: “That’s not right. I got [price].”

(I look over what she had requested for her order. I realize that one of the things she asked for was a premium item that wasn’t the same price as the rest of the catering sandwiches.)

Me: “Oh, the two chicken veggies are a little more than the regular sandwich prices.”

Customer: “Well, that’s not right! I called yesterday and spoke to a girl who said that the chicken didn’t cost extra.”

Me: “I’m sorry about that, ma’am. I’m not sure why they told you that chicken doesn’t cost extra but it does. The veggies normally come without it and adding it adds an additional charge.”

Customer: “The girl I spoke to yesterday said they were just additions, so they didn’t cost extra!”

Me: “Well, they are additions. ALL additions aside from our basic toppings cost extra.”

Customer: “I’m really upset that you’re telling me the chicken will cost extra!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but it’s always cost extra. Do you know who you spoke to?”

Customer: “No, I don’t remember her name!”

(I list a few females names that may have answered the phone. She doesn’t recognize any of them.)

Me: “I’m sorry about that, ma’am, but there may just have been a miscommunication. Perhaps she misunderstood your question or misspoke, because I can’t imagine any of our employees who you would have spoken to yesterday who would mistakenly tell anyone that chicken is a free addition.”

Customer: “I’m really upset that you’re telling me that the chicken is extra!”

Me: “…I’m sorry that there was a miscommunication about it, but chicken has always been extra.”

Customer: “I’m very upset about this! So, what, how much extra is it, what, two dollars?”

Me: “Yes, it would be two dollars total extra. It’s a dollar extra for chicken per sandwich.”

(The customer didn’t speak for a moment, presumably adding up the price again. We went over the prices twice and she asked for me to give her the total again. We eventually finalized everything. I didn’t work the next day, but apparently she sent someone else to go pick up the order. Apparently, she also wrote a customer complaint about how upset she was that chicken costs money!)

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 41

| USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

(I take a catering order over the phone.)

Me: “Would you like to pay tomorrow when you pick it up or would you like to give me a credit card number now?”

Customer: “I’ll give you my credit card number.”

(She gives me her number.)

Customer: “And could I have the total?”

Me: “Well, I actually have only written the order down. If you really need the total now I can ring in your order but it will take a moment. You’d have to hold or I’d have to call you back.”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like to have the total, obviously, if I’m going to be charged for it today. You know, I can’t just have charges to my card without knowing how much it will be.”

Me: “Actually, ma’am, the charge won’t go through until the day of. Your number will just be attached to your order in our system and the charge will be applied after we ensure that you get your order.”

Customer: “Oh, no, I don’t want it to be stored in the system. That’s not safe! Never mind, I’ll just pay for it tomorrow!”

Me: “…Well, that’s fine, too! It may just take a minute or so for you to be rung out tomorrow if it’s busy when you arrive to pick up your order, just so you know.”

(I decided not to bother clarifying that she had just given me her number which I wrote down, or that our systems were obviously designed to encrypt credit card numbers so that they could not be stolen, considering we were a business that dealt with thousands of credit cards daily, OR that every single credit card, including the one she would use the next day, was stored in our system anyway in order for us to receive customers’ payments because that’s how credit cards work.)

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 40
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 39
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 38

Giving The French Stick, Part Deux

| Tilbury, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Language & Words

(I am about 18 and working at a sub shop. Two blonde beauties from Quebec come through the door. I live in Ontario and most of the people in my little town speak English; however, I went to French school.)

Me: “Welcome to [Sandwich Shop]. What can I get you?”

Customer #1: *in thick French accent, begins placing her order*

(As I cut the bread and start to prep, I start hearing them talking in French, looking at me but speaking to each other; they didn’t even have the decency to whisper.)

Customer #1: *in French slang* “That girl is so ugly. Look at her clothes.”

Customer #2: “I know. Like, why would she even go out in public?”

(This continues as I make their subs with a big smile on my face. They go on about how they’re worried that my touch will contaminate their food, among other slurs about the province and how much Quebec is better. After paying their total I say in perfectly clear French:)

Me: “Merci d’avoir choisi [Franchise]. J’espère que t’aime ton voyage en Ontario.” *Thank you for choosing [Franchise]. I hope you like your trip to Ontario.*

(Their faces turned white and they quickly exited the store, egos tightly tucked between their legs. I apologized to my mom that night for always giving her trouble about making me go to French school!)

Giving The French Stick

Page 1/1912345...Last