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    Suddenly, Parenting Goes Out The Window

    , | Australia | Family & Kids, Top, Transportation

    (I work in a call centre for a company that does roadside assistance for cars that have either broken down or need a tow. We also provide a free service to get babies out of locked cars as this is classed as an emergency situation. It is one of the hottest days of summer.)

    Me: “Could I please start with your registration or membership card number.”

    Caller: “I’VE LOCKED MY BABY IN THE CAR! SHE’S ONLY A MONTH OLD! PLEASE, HELP!”

    Me: “Okay. First of all, I need your location and the make and model of your car.”

    Caller: “I’m at [popular shopping centre] and my car is [Expensive Brand] [newest model sedan].”

    Me: “Due to these cars being so new our patrols cannot open them from the outside and will have to smash a window. The windscreen would be the safest, as it is the cheapest to replace and also the furthest away from the baby.”

    Caller: “NO! THIS IS A BRAND NEW CAR! YOU HAVE TO UNLOCK THE DOOR!”

    Me: “I’m sorry but I have sent two patrols to your location. They will smash the window to get the baby out as it is a hot day and the temperature in the car could kill the baby!”

    Caller: “I DON’T CARE! YOU ARE NOT SMASHING THE WINDOW!”

    Me: “Okay. Well, the patrols should be there within five minutes. Please wait by the car and stay calm.” *hangs up*

    (I immediately call the police and ambulance so they can attend the scene as well. I later hear that the lady attacked the patrol officer when he tried to smash the window, all while screaming and swearing about her new car. The police promptly arrested her for assault and endangering a child, and the windscreen was broken to get the baby out.)

    Rounding Down To The Nearest Child

    , | Assen, The Netherlands | Family & Kids

    (I work in a call center that answers calls from people with broken cars in foreign countries. We always ask how many people are on board of the car.)

    Me: “Are there any children in your car?”

    Customer: “Yes, four children. One of the children is under four. Three are aged between four and twelve and one is older than twelve.”

    Me: “So, you have five children?”

    Customer: “No! Four children!”

    Me: “But, you just mentioned five children.”

    Customer: “Don’t you think I know how many kids I have?”

    Customer, to his wife: “Honey, how many kids do we have?”

    Customer: “I’m sorry. You’re right, I’ve got five children.”

    Destination Or Bust

    , | New Zealand | Extra Stupid

    (I work in the call center for a road side assistance company in New Zealand. When members run out of fuel, we can bring it out to them, but they must pay for the fuel.)

    Me: “Welcome to road service, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I’m out of fuel and I’m in the middle of [remote mountain pass].”

    Me: “That’s fine, we can find you. Do you have money for the fuel?”

    Customer: “Of course not! If I had money, I would have filled-up before I started on my trip, you idiot!”