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    George Foreman Would Not Be Happy

    | Jacksonville, FL, USA | Food & Drink

    Me: “Good afternoon. What can I get for you?”

    Resident: “I will have a grilled cheese without the bread.”

    Me: “I’m sorry. Our grilled cheese only comes on bread.”

    Resident: “Well, I don’t like bread. Your menu says I can have a grilled cheese, and I want it without bread!”

    Me: “Okay, I will be right back with that.”

    (I walk into the kitchen, and tell the cook the request. She puts two slices of cheese on a plate, and microwaves it. I then take it out to the resident.)

    Me: “Here you go.”

    Resident: “What is this? This isn’t a grilled cheese. Where are the grill marks?”

    Shout Until You’re Bleu In The Face

    | Newberg, OR, USA |

    (I work in the dining room at a retirement home. I’m offering an elderly woman soup.)

    Me: “Hi there, Susie! Would you like some soup tonight?”

    Elderly Woman: “What?”

    Me: *raising my voice* “Would you like some SOUP?”

    Elderly Woman: “WHAT?”

    Me: *I put mouth right by her ear and basically yell at her* “DO YOU WANT SOUP?”

    Elderly Woman: “Why are you speaking French?”

    The 8th Sign Of The Apocalypse

    | Tampa, FL, USA |

    Grumpy Old Man: “There’s too much salt in the shakers.”

    Me: “…”

    G.O.M.: *picks up shaker to demonstrate*

    Me: “I’m…sorry?”

    G.O.M.: “THERE’S NO SHAKE ROOM!”

    Me: “I’ll get right on that.”