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    Comic: Too Rich For Jesus’ Blood

    | Gulf Shores, AL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Comics, Holidays, Religion

    Christmas Cheer Versus Christmas Jeer

    | SA, Australia | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (Close to Christmas, I decide to cheer up my uniform by wearing a pair of glitter Christmas trees on a headband.)

    Me: “Good morning! Can I help you?”

    Customer: “Why do you wear those stupid things?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “Those stupid things on your head. Absolutely ridiculous, and you look like an idiot.”

    Me: *smiling and looking directly in her eyes* “Well, Christmas for me is actually a sad time. I lost my mum at Christmas, my uncle died shortly after, I have just lost my father-in-law to cancer, and my grown children live over 2000 kilometres away and cannot make it home. So, I try and make the holidays just that little bit happier by adding a bit of silliness. If I can make someone smile it’s worth it.”

    Customer: “I’ll just take my foot out of my mouth now and leave.”

    (I never did find out what she came in for but she left very humbled!)

    Some People Have Extra Large Baggage At Christmas

    | Marquette, MI, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (A mother is buying a BB gun for her son for Christmas.)

    Customer: “Do you have a really large bag that will cover this whole box?”

    Me: “No. These are the largest bags I have, but I could put one on each end and only a little would be showing.”

    Customer: “THANKS a lot! You are ruining my son’s Christmas! It’s ruined now! He is in the car and you can’t even get me a large bag!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry. These are the only bags the stores orders. I can try to cover it the best I can. But maybe next time don’t shop with your son in the car.”

    Customer: “You ruined his Christmas, I hope you can live with that!”

    (She then walked away with no bag… and guess what, I’m still living.)

    Just Won’t Leave On Christmas Eve

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (It’s Christmas Eve at 5:30. I just finished closing registers and am doing final checks while my associate straightens out some products. All of a sudden there is a loud banging on the door.)

    Customer: “How can you be closed? It’s Christmas Eve and I need a gift card now!”

    Me: “I apologize, ma’am. We have been closed for almost a half hour.”

    Customer: “But I need a gift card! Can I slide you money through the crack in the door?” *takes out money* “See?! Look! It slides through.”

    Me: “No, ma’am. I’m sorry our registers are closed. If you need a gift card that badly try the grocery store three stores down.”

    Customer: “But… but…”

    Me: “Ma’am, as I told you, we are closed. We want to spend the holiday with our family. So you can try the grocery store as they sell our gift cards in a $25 denominations.”

    (I turned around to finish my checks and the customer left, defeated.)

    Take Your Layaway Faraway

    | Henderson, KY, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (I am working layaway around Christmas at a very popular retail store. Our policy is if you put something in layaway, we need your license. That way if you decide to take it out and get your money back, we know it’s you and not just a random person pretending to be you. A lady comes in one day wanted to cancel her layaway.)

    Me: “Hello.”

    Customer: “Hello, I’d like to cancel my layaway.”

    Me: “All right, can I have your name and your license?”

    Customer: “I don’t have my license, but here’s my name.” *gives name*

    Me: “Okay, but ma’am, I’m going to need your license so you can prove who you are.”

    Customer: “Why do you need my personal information for such a stupid thing? I was never told about this!”

    Me: “It is company policy to tell each customer that to cancel, pay, or pick up their layaway, they must show their license. It is also written on our sign right here.”

    (I point the large sign next to her that has in bold letters that you need your license during each layaway transaction.)

    Customer: “You just put that there! I saw you do it! That was never there until just now!”

    (The lady storms off and comes back with an older lady and two kids. The older lady steps up to the counter and hands me her license.)

    Older Customer: “I’m her mom. Here is my license. She lives with me.”

    (I look up their address in the computer, and it doesn’t show up.)

    Me: “Ma’am, your address isn’t showing up in the system.”

    Customer: “Well, why do you need my license anyway?! It’s such a stupid idea!”

    Me: “How would you feel if, a few days before Christmas, you come to pick up your layaway and realize it’s not there, and all your money that you put into it was also gone?”

    Customer: “That would be the worst thing ever and I’d probably sue the company for giving my things and money to someone else!”

    Me: “That is the reason for us asking for the license.”

    Customer: “I don’t have my license with me, but you have my name. That should be enough.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I can’t give it to you, or your mom.”

    Customer: “YOU ARE RUINING MY GRANDCHILDREN’S CHRISTMAS!”

    (She harshly motions to the kids, who actually seem embarrassed about the scene that is unfolding. The two women start to storm off.)

    Me: “Have a good day, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Yeah, you too, b****!”

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