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    Counting Up The Idiots

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Money

    (I’m a supervisor at a well-known department store. I am ringing up a customer.)

    Me: “Okay, sir, so that’ll be $20.24.”

    Customer: “But the sign said it was on sale for $24.99.”

    Me: “Okay… but it’s $20.24.”

    Customer: “BUT THE SIGN SAID $24.99!”

    Me: “Sir, 20 is cheaper than 24.”

    Customer: “Oh, it’s cheaper? Okay.”

    Me: “…”

    New Sales Announced On Wikileaks

    | Norway | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers

    (A customer is looking at a particular item, and wants to know the price.)

    Me: “That’s 99 kroner.”

    Customer: “Oh, that’s a bit pricey I think..”

    Me: “It’s a secret but I’ll tell you. This item is coming on half price on Monday, you could come back and make a good deal on it.”

    (The customer starts looking around and acting like I just told her a national secret wondering if anybody else heard it.)

    Customer: “Okay, thank you! WHOOPS!” *whispers* “T-thank you!”

    (She ran out before I could say anything else.)

    Give Me A Low Five

    | Canada | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Money

    (A woman and her daughter at my checkout are very pleasant right up until I read her total.)

    Me: “All right, your total is $17.93.”

    Mother: “Oh, yes, not a problem.”

    (She puts a 5$ bill on the counter and we keep chatting. I put the bill under my printer to hold onto it thinking she is getting more. Finally I ask—)

    Me: “Ma’am, I still need $12.93.”

    Mother: “I gave you a twenty though! You said the bill was 17.93.”

    Me: “That is the total, but you only gave me a five—”

    Mother: “No, I gave you a f****** twenty. I know I did! Don’t you lie now!”

    Me: “Ma’am, all you gave me was a five. I put it right here.”

    (I grab the bill and slid it back onto the counter, thinking maybe she just thought she grabbed a twenty. I was shocked considering her daughter looked to be no older than eleven and she is swearing.)

    Mother: “Well, look harder. You must have dropped it, you f****** dumb b****!”

    (Appalled and getting panicked that I might have made a mistake, I look on the floor around me but I can not find a twenty anywhere.)

    Me: “Ma’am, all you gave me was a five. I’m sorry but I don’t see it.”

    Mother: “Well, then, you must have pocketed it! Pull out your pockets!”

    (I do so and I look more and more worried. This is only my second week and I don’t know what to do.)

    Daughter: “Mom, you only put a five.”

    Mother: “Shut up, [Daughter]! I know what I did and I know what happened. This b**** distracted us by pretending to be nice!”

    (At this point my manager shows up because I was supposed to go on my break and she finds me near tears, being shouted at by this woman.)

    Manager: “What is the problem, ma’am?”

    Mother: “This f***-tard of woman you hired took my money and then lied! She stole right from me! I demand her fired!”

    Daughter: “Mommmmmm! You—”

    Mother: “[Daughter], shut it!”

    Manager: “[My Name], go on break. I’ve got this.”

    (I leave on break pretty much crying now. When I come back my manager is leaning at my cash and decides to share the story:)

    Manager: “Apparently this monster of a mother meticulously keeps track of every penny she spends. Has a little book of what she spent and where and had been doing shopping all day. After being given a calculator she realized she spent more than she thought she had and was short twenty dollars because of her own spending. Get this though: even though her daughter kept insisting she was wrong, she wants us to check the security cameras and call her to make sure you didn’t take anything. If she comes in again let me know and I will serve her. She pulls this stunt again and she’s banned.”

    (Turned out, a week later she came back and tried it again – this time without her daughter!)

    Hunting For The Right Department

    | Titusville, FL, USA | Pets & Animals

    (I work in a large retailer that has several departments. A customer approached me walking toward Sporting Goods from the Garden Center entrance.)

    Customer: “Am I heading the right way for animals?”

    Me: “You’re heading the right way for hunting them.”

    Customers: Terrified Of Change

    | Cambridge, MA, USA | Crazy Requests

    (We’ve just spent the last two weeks completely renovating our retail space. The layout is entirely different, including knocking down some walls. Shortly after re-opening a customer comes up to the counter.)

    Customer: “Everything’s just moved around for the weekend, right? You’ll move it all back to the way it was tomorrow?”

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