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    Praying For That Lightbulb Moment

    | MN, USA | Bizarre, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

    (I work at a retail store that generally closes before all the other ones around us. At this moment we have just a few minutes before close and I am back in my department, which is empty, when a customer whom I watched enter just 30 seconds before comes up to me.)

    Me: “How can I help you tonight?”

    Customer: “I need a lightbulb.”

    Me: “Well, that would be in our light—”

    Customer: “You don’t understand. I NEED a LIGHTBULB!”

    Me: “Ma’am, we don’t have lightbulbs in this department. But if you’ll let me direct you to—”

    Customer: “You’ve got to be kidding me. Where are the d*** lightbulbs, kid?!”

    (The announcer goes off, saying we are now closed, and I’m trying to be as polite as possible.)

    Customer: “F****** people are f****** closed now! You people need to get your s*** together before you f****** close on a paying customer! I’m never coming back here!”

    (I tell my coworker about the lady that night. He finds me during my shift the next day.)

    Coworker: “Hey, did that lady happen to have [color] hair and a [color] purse with her?”

    Me: “Yeah, why?”

    Coworker: “She came back this morning. Apparently she knew exactly where they were. And she was very disappointed to discover they weren’t by the gummy worms.”

    Charged With Time-Wasting And Battery

    | KY, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Technology, Theme Of The Month, Transportation

    (I work at a battery store, and one of the most popular items we have are reconditioned car batteries. I’m gladly closing up the store. I have my arm in a sling since I had dislocated my shoulder a few days before. Some customers roll up:)

    Customer: “We want a reconditioned battery.”

    (By the boss’s instruction, I was to keep the shop open and take care of customers when they came in. So, I get them rung up.)

    Customer: “And we want you to install it.”

    (This is a problem, because it is a Dodge Stratus, which means you have to take the wheel off the car to get to the battery.)

    Me: “Okay, but the surcharge will be [total].”

    Customer: “What! That is ridiculous. I won’t pay that much!”

    Me: “Then I can’t do it.”

    Customer: “Fine! But hurry up!”

    Me: “It will take a little longer because my arm is in a sling.”

    (After more arguing, I finally got started installing the battery. They all walked down the street to a convenience store. An hour and a half after closing, I got the job done, while they stood there and complained that I had taken so long.)

    Closing Time Is A Vicious Cycle Accident

    | Cedar Rapids, IA, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at a popular home-improvement store. At two minutes to closing time a man comes dashing through the door. This happens regularly, so I think nothing of it.)

    Me: *joking* “Better run!”

    Customer: *with a huge grin on his face* “Yeah, I crashed my bike getting here!”

    (As he runs past me, I see that he’s bleeding in several places on his side and arm, but I have no time to say anything before he’s off down an aisle. A couple minutes later, he comes back with a large box of nails cradled in the crook of his arm.)

    Me: “Woah, hold on. Are you okay? Let me get you some bandages—”

    Customer: *still grinning* “Nah, I’m fine. I think I dislocated my shoulder, though. Does it look bad?”

    (I look, and sure enough, the joint is popped out of its socket. He heads over to the checkout counter, grinning the whole time.)

    Me: “It looks terrible! Oh, my god. You need medical attention. Do you want me to call you an ambulance?”

    Customer: “Nope, don’t call an ambulance.”

    Me: “Are you sure? That looks like it really hurts!”

    Customer: *cheerfully* “It really hurts!”

    Me: “You’re bleeding and your shoulder is dislocated! You need to go to a doctor or something at least!”

    Customer: “Yeah, or something. See ya!”

    (He grabbed his stuff and dashed out the door. It was the end of my shift, so my supervisor made me go clock out in spite of my begging her to let me stay to make sure he was all right. When I got back, he was gone. I can only hope the crazy dude got himself to a hospital.)

    Not Very Closed Minded

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

    (I am working closing shift. The last staff member has left and I am on my own to count the day’s takings. Our store closes at 7 pm on Thursdays, due to it being in a dark, remote area. A man knocks on the door. It’s dark outside.)

    Me: “Sorry, we are closed.”

    Customer: “But I really need to get something. Let me in.”

    Me: “No, I can’t let you in. We are closed.”

    Customer: “Just let me in. I’ll be quick.”

    Me: “NO. We are closed. The registers are closed down.”

    Customer: “Can’t I just pass the money under the door and you get me [item]?”

    Me: *knowing I would have to open door to pass the item out* “No, sorry, can’t do that. Our stores in [Location #1] and [Location #2] will be open until 9pm. You need to go there.”

    Customer: “But they are too far!”

    Me: “NO. I CAN’T HELP YOU!”

    (I felt shaken as I finished the count and put the money into the safe. I didn’t have a good feeling about this man, so after turning the lights off I waited 10 minutes out of sight in the hope that he thought I’d left by another door, even though my car – the only one in the parking lot – was right outside the door he was knocking on.)

    Closing Late Is Such A Rush

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

    (We’ve had a customer in store for well over two hours. She’s prevented us from finishing jobs because she’s monopolised our time. She’s wanting to buy fabric for curtains for a holiday home.)

    Coworker: “Just letting you know that we are actually closed now. Have you decided what you want yet?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’ll take this fabric, I need 20 metres.”

    Coworker: “Are you sure it’s the one you want? There is no return on fabric. Maybe you should take a sample home to show your husband.”

    Customer: “No, it’s fine. I’ll take it.”

    (I am counting out my register while Coworker measures the fabric.)

    Customer: “I bet you are just waiting to leave, right?”

    Coworker: “Yes, we are, but because we’ve been with you for the last few hours we can’t. We have to finish these jobs before we can leave.”

    Customer: “So you can be thankful to me for getting you overtime.”

    Coworker: “We don’t get overtime. We get paid only until 5:30.”

    (She finally leaves.)

    Coworker: “I am so glad she’s gone. She was such a time waster and I have a bad feeling that she is going to try to return the fabric, because she made me choose it for her.”

    (It’s after seven before we can finally leave. Sure enough a couple of days later she returns with the fabric because her husband doesn’t like it. My coworker refuses to do it but after insistence by the customer refers her to the store manager.)

    Coworker: *to me* “If he returns it, I am going to be so pissed”.

    (He did return it, because the customer told him that she was rushed into the choice by us.)

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