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    Double-Layered Satisfaction

    | IL, Chicago, USA | Bizarre

    (I see a customer, who I helped on the floor, leaving the fitting room.)

    Me: “How did the pants work for you?”

    Customer: “They were perfect! They fit me so well that I didn’t even have to take off my other pants to try them on!”

    (She wasn’t joking and actually purchased the pants!)

    Keep All Your Baggage At Home

    | England, UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre

    (I am working on the tills next to my colleague. He has just finished ringing everything up for the customer. At this point we offer bags to customers to try and cut down on the amount we use.)

    Colleague: “That will be [total]. Would you like a bag?”

    Customer: “No, thanks. I’ve got one at home!”

    (After the customer paid and left, we just looked at each other trying not to laugh.)

    Isn’t Buying Into The Sale

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Extra Stupid

    (We regularly have deals on cases of paper where a customer can purchase a specified number of cases, and receive another one for free. A customer comes into the store and makes a bee-line for the sale cases. This week’s deal is buy two, get one free.)

    Customer: “Two cases of paper, please!”

    (I immediately suspect there will be an issue. I radio for an associate to start heading to the paper display in case there’s a dispute, then ring up the customer’s paper.)

    Me: “Okay! Your total is [cost of two full price cases and sales tax].”

    Customer: “What!? Your sign says buy two, get one free! Why isn’t my second one free!?”

    Me: “Sir, buy two get one means that you have to BUY TWO cases first. Then your third one’s free.”

    Customer: “THAT’S NOT WHAT THE AD SIGN SAYS!”

    Me: “It is, sir. It says BUY TWO. You know, like PURCHASE TWO? You have to PAY FOR two cases before you get the third one?”

    Customer: “THAT’S NOT WHAT IT SAYS! I WANT MY SECOND CASE FOR FREE!”

    Me: “Sir, I can’t just give you a free case of paper. The sale you’re thinking of is buy one, get one – not buy two get one.”

    (At this point I’m pretty sure the customer realizes his error. There is a long pause while he stares at me expectantly, and then…)

    Customer: “FINE! Give me my third case! But I want to speak to your store manager! That’s misleading and you’re cheating people out of their money!”

    Me: “Sure thing, sir. Here’s his business card. He’ll be in tomorrow. Have a nice night!”

    Not Going To Wrap It Up Before Closing

    | Arnhem, The Netherlands | Crazy Requests

    (It’s about closing time, and we have closed the shutters partly to make customers aware of this. The store is empty, and has been for a while. Some of my coworkers are already starting to pack up and I’m left waiting around the cash registry until it’s closing time. About two minutes before we close, a customer comes running up.)

    Customer: “Can I still shop?”

    Me: “We’re about to close in two minutes.”

    Customer: “I know what I want! I’ll be quick; I know exactly where it is.”

    (She grabs a basket and runs through the store to get her things. I get behind the registry to scan her items. When she comes up, it turns out it’s a lot of small items, about 20 different things.)

    Me: “That really was quick!”

    Customer: “Thank you! Oh, and they’re all presents. You wrap them, right?”

    Me: “We can wrap, or I can give you enough paper to wrap them yourself at home.”

    Customer: “You do it. I can’t wrap nicely.”

    (It is now a few minutes past closing, and it’s a lot of small items to wrap. I call for extra assistance.)

    Coworker: “Did you just call for assistance? Why?”

    Me: *nodding towards the pile of goods and wrapping as fast as I can* “These are all presents.”

    Coworker: “… All of them?”

    Me: “Yep.”

    Coworker: “Call for more assistance.”

    (We wrapped everything with the three of us, and the customer made us re-wrap some things, too, if they weren’t done well enough to her satisfaction!)

    Trying To Force It Through

    | QLD, Australia | At The Checkout, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV, Technology

    Customer: *waving shirt in front of scanner* “Sorry, I can’t scan this item! I’ve tried so many times.”

    Me: “Sorry about that.” *scans item in one go* “There you go!”

    Customer: “Oh… uh…”

    (I notice it’s a ‘Trust Me, I’m a Jedi’ Shirt.)

    Me: “It’s okay… I’m a Jedi.”

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