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  • Needs To Clean Out More Than The Hard Drive

    | NV, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Rude & Risque, Technology

    (I work in the electronics section of a home store. I deal mostly with computers, tablets, and the like. A customer is having troubles setting up a computer after purchasing it the previous day. He needs to do a local account reset so the computer can be used like new. I tell him to come back down to the store, because it would be easier to show him how to do it. The customer in question is probably in his 80s. I am a girl in my 20s. My coworker, who is also a girl in her 20s, is standing next to me.)

    Customer: *smelling of stale cigarettes and other things* “Hi, I spoke to you on the phone about my computer.”

    Me: “Yes, of course. Go ahead and take your computer out and we will plug it in and take care of your issues. Other than the problem that you spoke to me about do you have any questions?”

    Customer: “No, I just want to download some things and it won’t let me without a password.”

    (I proceed to walk the customer through the steps of resetting the computer, adding accounts, changing passwords, and installing software. All this time I have been touching the computer and inputting the customer’s information so that we can get him out the door. He has me download one last thing and right when we are about to finish up he asks me another normal question.)

    Customer: “So, can you show me how to delete files and emails? It has been a long time and this computer is different from my other one.”

    Me: “Sure, not a problem. Do you know where your files are located in the computer?”

    Coworker: *standing next to me* “Here, they might be located in this section.”

    (She looks through the computer, but can’t seem to find anything so I resume my search.)

    Customer: “Well, they are more so movies than files….”

    (I see where this is going and I sort of freeze up.)

    Customer: “Yeah, I was watching a lot of porn last night and I can’t seem to get it off of my computer.”

    (I am now slowly removing my hands from the keyboard and suddenly realizing that it didn’t look like he had cleaned the computer before he brought it in. My coworker’s face has gone pale and she slowly walks away from the department to wash her hands. I stand there wishing I could do the same.)

    Customer: “Yeah, I was watching a lot of stuff last night and I came across some things that I don’t know if I really wanted to see and now I want you to delete them for me.”

    Me: “…”

    Customer: “So can you do that, too?”

    Me: “No… sir. I can’t attempt to access anything of that… er… nature. If something were to pop up unexpectedly I could be fired… or we could be sued.”

    (My coworker has come back and that point and reiterates to the customer what I just said about things of that nature.)

    Customer: “Oh… okay. I really wish you could do that for me….”

    (He proceeds to ask me to do more and more things as I just sit there stunned that he allowed me to touch his computer knowing what he had done. He refused to type in anything after that. He finally ran out of questions to ask me and started putting his computer away. As he walked away I immediately booked it to the bathroom and scoured my hands with soap and water and then proceeded to empty a bottle of hand sanitizer on them. I then walk to tell my manager what happened, so that I could ask him what I should do if that situation ever occurred again.)

    Manager: “The next time that happens, tell him you can’t help him because his computer is now classified as a biohazard.”

    Wii-U Are Not Listening

    | Portland, OR, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m browsing video games in a large national department store where all employees are required to wear red. This particular store, I’ve noticed, is pretty relaxed about what form the red shirt or top can take, as well as the shade of red. Coincidentally, I’m wearing a red t-shirt with a local hockey team’s name across it. A mother and her ten-year-old boy approach me.)

    Mother: “Excuse me, is the Nintendo Wii still on sale?”

    Son: “Wii-U!”

    Me: “I’m not sure. I don’t work here.”

    Mother: “Can you call someone back here who would know? He wants the Wii really badly.”

    Son: “Wii-U!”

    Me: “Well, there’s a customer service button over in movies. That should bring someone over. And I think he wants the Wii-U, the new system they came out with.”

    Mother: “You want me to walk over into another department and ring a bell?! What the h*** kind of employee are you?”

    Me: “I’m an employee of [National Insurance Company]. I’m not a clerk at this store.”

    Mother: “Don’t give me that bull-s***! You’re a punk kid!”

    Me: “I’m 26.”

    Son: “Wii-U!”

    Mother: *grabbing kid’s hand* “You know what? We’ll go to [Well-known Toy Store Chain] and pay full price for the god d*** Wii, because I’m sick of this crap!”

    Son: “Wii-U!”

    Me: *laughing* “Is that all he says?”

    Mother: “HOW DARE YOU!”

    (Eventually she was escorted from the store and the manager, after watching the entire exchange on the security tapes, let me use my ‘employee’ discount on the game I wanted. I got it for… Wii-U!)

    Try To Flush This Customer From Your System

    | Mankato, MN, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

    (I am looking at cold medicine when a man stops me.)

    Man: “Excuse me; do you know where the laxatives are?”

    (Assuming he had a good reason for asking a stranger, I show him a few aisles over.)

    Man: “Oh, this can’t be right… What about suppositories?”

    (Very awkward items to ask for, but I find them and try to walk away.)

    Man: “This goes where? Oh god! I am trying this new diet thing… But it can’t be correct.”

    Me: “Well, there are some diets these days that try to ‘flush’ you out, so it’s not uncommon.”

    (Visually perplexed, he sets them back and mumbles:)

    Me: “I better rethink this.”

    (I quickly wander to a completely different section of the store, and shortly after, he came up to me again.)

    Man: “So, do you even work here?”

    Me: “No, sir.”

    Man: “Huh…” *he slowly walks away*

    Crazy Requests Only Go In One Direction

    | UK | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Crazy Requests

    (I work in a shop that sells comics, video games, trading cards, and assorted trinkets related to the culture around them. I work in the back where I test incoming consoles to check for issues. Between the back and the front is a small hole in the wall where I see a customer with a problem.)

    Coworker: “That’s gonna be £32.20.”

    Customer: “Wait, I have the deal here.”

    (The place is running a small deal where you get 10% of the cheapest item if you present a flyer with the deal written on the back. My coworker proceeds to change the price accordingly. I get called to the front while the customer speaks to the owner. After hearing him rant for about five more minutes:)

    Customer: “I can’t believe you advertize a deal and not follow up on it. The [Competing Store] down the road would give me all this for free for all the trouble. What can YOU do for me?”

    Me: “Give you directions to [Competing Store]?”

    Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 7

    | PA, USA | Funny Names, Liars & Scammers

    Me: “Welcome to [Store]! Let me know if there’s any—”

    Customer: “Oh, I don’t have any questions; my brother works at the Ohio location.”

    Me: “Uhm, are you sure? We don’t have an Ohio location.”

    Customer: “Oh, you don’t know.”

    (She brushes me off and starts shopping. When she’s finished shopping, I start to check her out.)

    Customer: “I should get the employee discount, because of my brother.”

    Me: “Okay. Did he teach you the employee handshake?”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “We only give the employee discount to people who know the secret handshake.”

    Customer: “How rude! Let me speak to your manager!”

    Me: “How about the owner instead? That would be me. I own both locations, neither are in Ohio.”

    Related:
    Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 6
    Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 5
    Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 4

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