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  • Trying To Avoid A Razor-Sharp Employee

    | NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Liars & Scammers

    (I’m working as a cashier and this sweet-seeming older woman comes up to my counter to buy a razor.)

    Me: “Hello, how are you?” *scanning her items as we speak*

    Customer: “Wonderful. How are you?”

    Me: “I’m doing well, thank you. Your total is $14.”

    Customer: “What?! No, that’s five dollars! The bin said it was five dollars!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, this product is $14. Perhaps someone just put it into the $5 bin because they wanted the cheaper item?”

    (I get someone to check and the bin is full of a totally different razor set, which I suspected would be the case, especially because this razor was a really nice razor. So we explain this.)

    Customer: “This is ridiculous! This is false advertising! You should be sued!”

    (She leaves really quickly, while shouting. The associate who was standing there the whole time after checking the bins starts laughing.)

    Me: “What?”

    Associate: “She tried buying that same razor yesterday with an expired coupon.”

    Self(ish) Checkout

    | Jacksonville, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

    (I am picking up my friend at the end of her shift. We both work at this retail store but I am off on this particular day. She is running self checkout which starts to close down at 10:00 pm. It is 10:30 pm and customers are finally understanding that self checkout is closed except for those who are slowly finishing their ring up process. A couple walk up to my friend after passing under the ropes that were put at the entrance of self checkout to block out customers.)

    Guy: “Hey, we’ve only got, like, three items. Can we use this?”

    Friend: “No, I’m sorry; self check-out closes at 10. These people are just finishing up.”

    Guy: *getting agitated* “It’s just three d*** items. The lines are too long so we came here.”

    (At this point the manager comes over to see why it is my friend is still here.)

    Manager: “[Friend], didn’t your shift end at 10?”

    Friend: “Yeah…”

    Guy: “Your cashier has been rude as h***! I just have three d*** items and I want to use self checkout!”

    Manager: “Fine, whatever. Just do it and don’t keep cursing. Self checkout closes at 10 pm every night.”

    (The couple then proceed to begin checking out slowly.  It’s then 10:45 and they ring up alcohol so my friend goes over to check ID.)

    Woman: “Why in the h*** you gotta be so rude?!”

    (At this point I am beyond annoyed and my patience goes out the door.)

    Me: “Maybe cause you two idiots have her staying almost an HOUR over just because you’re too d*** lazy to go to a regular line?! Seriously! It takes you 15 minutes to ring up THREE items?! How about this: why don’t you tell me where you work. I’ll come over the night before something big for you and keep you waiting for over an hour while I do everything to keep you from leaving?!”

    (At this point the couple’s jaws drop and they continue the transaction without saying a word and rush out.)

    Me: “About dang time.”

    Confused To The Nines

    | PA, USA | Extra Stupid, Time

    Me: *answering phone* “Hello, thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: *clearly a young teenage guy* “Uh…yeah, I was just wondering what time you are open until today.”

    (Note, it is currently 9:30 am.)

    Me: “We are open until nine today.”

    Customer: “Nine in the morning or, like, nine?”

    Someone In The Background: “Dude! Did you seriously just ask that?”

    Me: *stifling laughter* “Nine at night, sir.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay…”

    Me: “Was there anything else I can help you with?”

    Customer: “No… no… that’s all.”

    Failed With Flying Colors

    | Wollongong, NSW, Australia | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (Our jewellery cabinet is sorted into a colour display with each shelf being solely dedicated to one colour. A customer beckons me over.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, I’d like to look at the turquoise jewellery please.”

    Me: “Of course, which ones would you like to see?”

    Customer: *pointing at the turquoise shelf* “The turquoise ones.”

    Me: “Which ones in particular?”

    Customer: *pointing again* “The turquoise jewellery.”

    Me: “Ma’am, all of the jewellery on that shelf is turquoise. I’m finding it hard to see which one in particular you’re looking at. Would you be able to describe it for me?”

    Customer: “Oh, of course they are!”

    (She bends towards the shelf, squints at it, and jabs the glass with her finger.)

    Customer: “The turquoise one!”

    Me: “…”

    (Ten minutes later we figured it out.)

    Won The Gold Medal For Most Stupid Customer

    | Wales, UK | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Technology

    (I work on the shop floor of a DIY store. A customer comes up to me holding a torch and looking confused.)

    Me: “Can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’m not quite sure how this torch would work.”

    Me: “You just put AA batteries in it and push the button on the side here.”

    Customer: “But it says here on the label that this is a silver-coloured torch.”

    (She points at the label on the silver torch and it does indeed say ‘Torch – Colour: Silver.’)

    Me: “Yes, that’s right…”

    Customer: “But how can light be silver?”

    Me: “Oh, no, the light is white like a standard torch. The colour on the label refers to the colour of the metal.”

    Customer: “But… it says it’s silver…”

    (At this point I get a black torch off of the shelf to show her that the label says ‘Torch – Colour: Black’)

    Me: “See, the label on this one says black and this metal is black.”

    Customer: “But it says it’s a silver coloured torch!”

    (After 10 full minutes of explaining, the woman handed me back the silver torch and walked off muttering about false advertising.)

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