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    Not Going To Wrap It Up Before Closing

    | Arnhem, The Netherlands | Crazy Requests

    (It’s about closing time, and we have closed the shutters partly to make customers aware of this. The store is empty, and has been for a while. Some of my coworkers are already starting to pack up and I’m left waiting around the cash registry until it’s closing time. About two minutes before we close, a customer comes running up.)

    Customer: “Can I still shop?”

    Me: “We’re about to close in two minutes.”

    Customer: “I know what I want! I’ll be quick; I know exactly where it is.”

    (She grabs a basket and runs through the store to get her things. I get behind the registry to scan her items. When she comes up, it turns out it’s a lot of small items, about 20 different things.)

    Me: “That really was quick!”

    Customer: “Thank you! Oh, and they’re all presents. You wrap them, right?”

    Me: “We can wrap, or I can give you enough paper to wrap them yourself at home.”

    Customer: “You do it. I can’t wrap nicely.”

    (It is now a few minutes past closing, and it’s a lot of small items to wrap. I call for extra assistance.)

    Coworker: “Did you just call for assistance? Why?”

    Me: *nodding towards the pile of goods and wrapping as fast as I can* “These are all presents.”

    Coworker: “… All of them?”

    Me: “Yep.”

    Coworker: “Call for more assistance.”

    (We wrapped everything with the three of us, and the customer made us re-wrap some things, too, if they weren’t done well enough to her satisfaction!)

    Trying To Force It Through

    | QLD, Australia | At The Checkout, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV, Technology

    Customer: *waving shirt in front of scanner* “Sorry, I can’t scan this item! I’ve tried so many times.”

    Me: “Sorry about that.” *scans item in one go* “There you go!”

    Customer: “Oh… uh…”

    (I notice it’s a ‘Trust Me, I’m a Jedi’ Shirt.)

    Me: “It’s okay… I’m a Jedi.”

    Lack-Of-Clothes Make The Lack-Of-A Man

    | UK | At The Checkout, Money, Rude & Risque

    (An older customer comes to my checkout. He has been staring at me a lot while he has been waiting for service. I am 17 at the time.)

    Customer: “Are you from [area in my town]?”

    Me: “Oh, no. I don’t live there.”

    Customer: “Are you sure? I’ve seen you around there, at [address that is not mine].”

    Me: “Oh, no. You must be mistaken.”

    (The transaction continues, extremely awkward as he keeps insisting he ‘knows me from somewhere’ and has ‘seen my house’ and things to that effect. I brush him off as one of the harmless, odd customers that one sees in a day.)

    Me: “Right, so that comes to £52.56.”

    Customer: “Oh I only have £50 on me.”

    Me: “Well, if you have no other means of paying, we’ll have to take something off.”

    Customer: “Like your clothes?”

    Me: “…no.”

    Customer: “Like my clothes?”

    (I am speechless and upset, and about to go into a rant and call a security guard over, when the next customer intervenes.)

    Next Customer: “You are soooo creepy, mate.”

    (The customer scuttles off after paying me the full amount, obviously embarrassed about being caught harassing a teenage girl!)

    Lucky Dollar Thirteen

    | OH, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    (It is my first day working the cash register, and everything is going well. A customer approaches my register with a handful of items. At first, she can’t figure out which items she wishes to use for which promotions, constantly changing her mind. Then she wants to use multiple (expired) coupons on her purchase. I call my coworker over to help explain to the customer how the promotions and coupons work. We finally get her straightened out on the promotions, and then this exchange happens.)

    Customer: “Okay, I think I got it. Now, with this coupon I get one item free, right?”

    Me:” Yes, ma’am, one item up to $13.”

    Customer: “Okay, well, these items here are about $13 total. Can I use those?”

    Me: “No, ma’am, the coupon is for one item up to $13.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. I’d like to use this item, then.”

    (She places her coupon on a $14 item.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you can’t use the coupon to get that item free; it’s $14.”

    Customer: “But, you said $13.”

    Coworker: “Yes, up to $13, but that is $14.”

    Customer: “But, you said $13.”

    Coworker: “Yes, up to $13. THAT’S $14.”

    Customer: “But… didn’t you say $13?”

    Coworker:  Yes, the coupon is up to $13. That item is $14.”

    (This continues back and forth for nearly a minute.)

    Customer: “OH! You mean INCLUDING $13!”

    Coworker: “Yes?”

    Customer: “Well, the coupon should say that. I’ll find another item.”

    (The customer goes to get another item– We still don’t know if she understood a word we said. Since we don’t know how long the customer is going to take, I invite the next customer in line to come to the register.)

    Next Customer: *sets her items on the counter with a gracious smile* “I have four items and no coupons.”

    Me: “I am so sorry for your wait, ma’am…”

    Taiwannical Behavior, Part 2

    | Taiwan | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Geography, Politics

    (I am Caucasian and work in Taiwan. Taiwan is a de facto independent country, even though China claims otherwise. Chinese tourist are notorious for harassing the locals on that issue, but I never had to deal with that personally.)

    Customer: *rudely, as she enter the store* “You work here?”

    Me: “Yes, I do.”

    Customer: “You live in this city?”

    Me: “Yup, for many years now.”

    Customer: “Why you choose here and not Beijing?”

    Me: *cautiously, as I realize from her accent she is Chinese* “I like the life here.”

    Customer: “But Beijing is better! You should come to Beijing instead.”

    Me: “Beijing is probably very nice. Maybe I will visit someday.”

    Customer: “You better move. This city is no good. Beijing is better.”

    Me: “So, may I assume you are from Beijing?”

    Customer: *proudly* “Yes, I am!”

    Me: “Cool! So we are both foreigners here!”

    (She gave me a very black, angry look, then left the store without saying another word.)

    Taiwannical Behavior

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