November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 21

| USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(An old woman walks up to my repair bench holding a large, older desktop tower.)

Me: “Hello there! How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I’m having problems with my computer.”

Me: “That’s never fun. What seems to be the issue?”

Customer: “I can’t connect my wireless mouse. I put it in the slot but it still doesn’t work.”

(I’m thinking this will be easy enough; maybe the adaptor is faulty. As I move the computer closer to me, however, I notice a loud rattling sound within the case, as if something has come loose.)

Me: “Well, it seems as if the USB ports are functioning fine. Do you have the mouse and adaptor with you?”

Customer: “I didn’t bring the mouse, and the adaptor thing is inside the computer.”

Me: *checking all USB ports* “I’m sorry ma’am, but nothing is plugged in. Would you want to try another mouse?”

Customer: *getting angry* “The adaptor is INSIDE the COMPUTER.”

Me: *suddenly realizing* “Ma’am… do you mean to tell me… the adaptor is inside the case?”

Customer: *now very angry* “OF COURSE it is INSIDE of the computer. I put it in the slot at the top like a coin machine, so WHY isn’t it WORKING?!”

Me: *looking at the top of the computer where there is a small hole just big enough to fit small objects inside* “Ma’am… that’s… that’s not how this works…”

Customer: *cutting me off* “ARE you KIDDING ME? Do you not know how computers work? I’m going somewhere else where the employees actually KNOW how to operate a computer!”

(She leaves, her computer rattling off into the distance.)

Coworker: “I’m not sure where she’s going but she’s not going to have much luck anywhere else.”

Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 20
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 19
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 18

No Bright Prospects For This Lamp

| WI, USA | Money, Movies & TV

(My husband and I own a thrift shop and consignment store. People bring in items to us either for consignment or to sell us. A lady brings in “an antique lamp.”)

Customer: “I want to sell this lamp, and I expect $300 for it.”

Me: “Hmm, based on our local economy, if genuine, it will only sell for a fraction of that at the most. I can offer $40.”

Customer: *outraged* “It is the same kerosene lamp found in Gone With The Wind and it is worth way more than that!”

Me: “Then it is probably a replica, especially since, despite resembling an antique kerosene lamp, it has an electrical cord coming out of it.”

Customer: “An expert friend of mine appraised it for me and said it is genuine. It is worth a thousand, and I you will be making a huge mistake passing up this deal”

Me: “I am not saying I am an expert, but I doubt I could sell the lamp in my store for much more than I offered, and by all means, I can direct you to other reputable businesses.”

(She left in a huff. A week later, she returned with the lamp, humbly admitting the other businesses only offered her $20.)

Hanging With The Customers

| Australia | Bad Behavior, Geography

(I volunteer for a charity second-hand store for a few months. One day a woman who is obviously in a bad mood walks into the store.)

Customer: “Do you sell your clothes racks?”

Me: “Ah, no, ma’am, we need them.”

Customer: “Those racks?” *points to racks where our clothing is hanging*

Me: “Yes, ma’am, we need them to hang our clothes on.”

Customer: “They sell them in Sydney.”

Me: “We aren’t Sydney, ma’am, and we need them to hang our clothing on.”

Customer: “I’m getting your manager!”

(My manager later told me about a crazy lady yelling at her because she wouldn’t sell the clothing racks to her!)

These Adult Toys Are Extra Dirty

| USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

(I work in an adult novelty store that sells toys. A lady walks in and comes up to the counter and pulls out a very expensive item.)

Customer: “I bought this here and I need to return it and get my money back.”

Me: “All novelty sales are final, due to the intimate nature of the products. That’s the law in this state.”

Customer: “But it’s still in the package!”

Me: “Yeah, but these kinds of products come in easily opened packages, they’re not actually sealed.”

(I take a closer look at the package, and it’s not even an item we carry. I’ve been with the company for almost ten years, and I’m the one that orders all of our stock. The item retails for almost $130, and would never sell in our market.)

Me: “Besides, ma’am, we don’t carry that product. I’m 100% certain of that. So that didn’t come from here.”

Customer: “It was worth trying. So, how much is this worth? I found it outside of someone’s house on the curb. Think I could sell it on eBay?”

Me: *at a complete loss for words as this is beyond disgusting* “I don’t know, but the retail on it is $130.”

Customer: “Thanks for your help!”

Never Sausage A Thing Before

| UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink

Me: “Doesn’t look like these sausages are scanning. Where did you get them from?”

Customer: “In the freezer. I know you can sell them to me. I work for a shop, too, and you can just put the price in and sell them to me.”

Me: *goes to check for a price – no other items, no price, don’t even sell them* “Sorry, I can’t sell these to you. We don’t even sell them! I’m not sure how they got there”

Customer: “No! You can and YOU WILL sell them to me! And you can do it now! Stop wasting my time. I want them and you can sell them”

Me: “I’ve literally never seen these before in my life. I don’t have a price for them. I thought they were new, and they’re not. How am I supposed to sell you what we don’t sell?”

Customer: “Just put the price in and sell them!”

Me: “But, there isn’t a price! Well, fine, how does £2 sound?”

(And that’s the story of how I sold sausages we didn’t even sell, because I “had to sell them and could sell them.”)