The Day Isn’t The Only Thing That Is Off

| Tamaulipas, México | Extra Stupid

(I’m answering the phones and redirecting calls to the appropriate areas of the store.)

Caller: “Hey, can I talk to [Name]?”

Me: “Just a minute. Can I have your name, please?”

Caller: “…Er, tell him it’s… John.”

Me: “Just a minute, please.”

(I call to the area and they tell me it’s his day off, I get back to the caller.)

Me: “I’m sorry but [Name] didn’t come in today.”

Caller: “Come in where? What?”

Me: “It’s his day off. He won’t be here today.”

Caller: “Day off? From what?”

(As I’m about to answer, I hear someone in the background.)

Background Voice On Call: “THEY ARE SAYING HE DIDN’T GO TO WORK TODAY, DUMBA**!”

(The line disconnects.)

How Em-Bra-assing

| GA, USA | At The Checkout, Money

(I am working the customer service/returns desk when a customer approaches the counter. The customer has quite an attitude throughout the whole transaction.)

Customer: “I think I was charged wrong!” *thrusting receipt at me*

Me: “All right, let’s take a look.”

(She pulls two bras out of her bag and points at clearance stickers on each, one is marked $9 and one is marked $7.)

Customer: “These bras rang up wrong!”

(I find the bras on the receipt, and sure enough the one marked $9 rang up for its original price… however, it was also VOIDED OFF at the original price and not rung up again for the clearance price. In other words, she didn’t pay for the $9 bra.)

Me: “Well, this bra you didn’t pay for.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “You can see here, it rang up for $12.94…”

Customer: “Right! It’s supposed to be $9! It rang up wrong!”

Me: “Yes, but if you look just below it, it was voided off… and not added again at any price,. Therefore, you have not paid for that one. Now, as to the other one, oh, if you’ll look here, it rang up for $5.”

Customer: “I told you! They are not ringing up right! The sticker says $7! They should be ringing up at the right price!”

Me: “Well. ma’am, I can re-ring this one and charge you $2 more if you really want me to, but this other one you haven’t paid for at all, so there’s not much I can about it except ring it up for you at $9.”

Customer: *mutters* “Ring it up.”

(I rang up the $9 bra and she paid for it without another word.)

Maybe He Should Look Up Irony

| Portland, OR, USA | Books & Reading

(I work at an office supply store and one night an elderly gentleman comes up to the register and sets his items down, one item being a dictionary and thesaurus.)

Customer: *pointing to dictionary* “What’s a thesaurus?”

Me: “It shows you synonyms and related words. It’s a great tool for writers.”

Customer: “Oh, okay.” *pays and leaves*

(Used to answering stupid questions without flinching, I didn’t think much about it until after he left. Then we all had a good laugh over the fact that he asked what thesaurus meant while purchasing a dictionary…)

Fits The Bill Of An Idiot

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work in a video game store. A woman comes up, wanting to return a ‘Mario Galaxy’ for the Wii she had purchased.)

Customer: “I want to return this as it doesn’t work. What kind of scam are you running here?!”

Me: “Not a problem. I can return it for you if you have the receipt.”

Customer: “It wouldn’t start and it kept saying please insert an Xbox 360 game disk!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that but the game you purchased only works on a Wii and not an Xbox; if you would like you can exchange it for something else.”

Customer: “BUT IT FIT IN IT! IT SHOULD WORK! IT PLAYS GAMES AND THIS IS A GAME AND IT SHOULD JUST WORK! IT FIT INSIDE!”

Me: “But this is for an entirely different console. Your game is for the Wii and you have an Xbox 360 and they’re not compatible wi—”

Customer: “BUT IT FITS!”

Me: “Very well. Let me ask you a question, if your car ran out of petrol and you filled the tank with milk, would the car run?”

Customer: “NO! WHAT KIND OF STUPID, MORONIC QUESTION IS THAT?!”

Me: “Yes, that’s correct, but does it fit?”

Customer: *deer in the headlights look, and then walks out*

No ID, No Idea, Part 20

| Atlanta, GA, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid

(I work in a retail store that sells and trades video games. If you want to trade your games in for cash, you must present a valid drivers license. It’s a state law. People are constantly stealing video games from bigger stores and will then trade them to us for cash.)

Me: “Do you want store credit or cash?”

Young Man: “Cash.”

Me: “Okay, I just need to see a valid driver’s license.”

(Hands me a Florida license with a Georgia address.)

Me: “Seriously?”

Young Man: “What? It’s valid! I got that off the Internet!”

Me: “Oh, I have no doubt about that.”

(I wouldn’t give him the cash and he was just dumbfounded that his idea didn’t work.)

Related:
No ID, No Idea, Part 19
No ID, No Idea, Part 18
No ID, No Idea, Part 17

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