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    A Day For A Dollar

    | OR, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

    (I’m grocery shopping at the local discount store. I pick the line that looks shortest, and set my basket down. The fairly well-off looking woman in front of me has apparently been accidentally overcharged a dollar, due to the ancient cash registers requiring the cashier to key in the amount to charge someone’s card.)

    Woman: *angrily* “You do realize that this refund will take three days to go through? Three days I have to wait for my money! Couldn’t you just give me a dollar?!”

    (At this point, it’s obvious that the woman’s been going off like this for some time. The manager is trying to calm her down while showing the cashier how to run the return. The poor cashier looks like he’s looking for a hole to crawl into and die in.)

    Me: “You know, if you’re in such bad financial straits that being out a dollar for three days is going to completely wreck your budget, I could give you your dollar. I’m unemployed, on food stamps, and having to scrounge recyclables to return for cash to fill my gas tank, but if you’re making such a fuss over being out a dollar for three days, you’re obviously poorer than me.” *holds out a dollar bill*

    (The woman goes beet red and signs the return in silence, then darts out to her car.)

    Cashier: “Thanks, ma’am, you’re awesome.” *fistbumps me*

    Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 8

    | QC, Canada | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Liars & Scammers

    (I work at a small store that sell shoes and other kinds of items such as scarves and hats. The owner occasionally gives out gift cards to customers who have paid over 150$ on a single purchase. One day, a woman comes in with her husband.)

    Me: “Good evening, ma’am. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I came here a week ago and bought a bunch of stuff; the owner gave me this.” *shows it to me*

    Me: *confirms it is the gift cards we have* “Do you need help choosing which items you want to buy?”

    Customer: *starts getting angry* “No, thanks. You can wait in the back.”

    (I leave and wait near the cash registers. When she finally comes with her desired items, it consists of seven scarves and a baseball cap.)

    Me: “Very well. Could you please hand me the gift card?”

    Customer: *annoyed* “Can’t I just take these items and you keep the card?”

    Me: “I need to make sure this card is legitimate, ma’am. It won’t take long, no worries.”

    (The expiration date is over a year ago. The woman seems ready to start the argument at this point.)

    Me: “Ma’am, the gift card is way beyond it’s expiration date and you’re going to have to pay with cash, check, or your credit card in order to receive those items.”

    Customer: “So? I know the owner; I’ve been friends with her for a long time. She told me that I wouldn’t have to worry about the date and could come whenever I wanted!”

    Me: “Would you mind if I called her to verify? Could I have your name, ma’am?”

    Customer: *anxious* “Y-yeah, go ahead, I’m [Customer].”

    (I call the owner.)

    Me: “Hi, [Owner], this is [My Name]. There’s this woman here that has a gift card and the expiration date is [date]. She also claims to be one of your friends and her name is [Customer], and that because of that she’s able to use the card whenever without worrying about the expiration date.”

    Owner: “If she were indeed my friend, she wouldn’t have received a card at all. Refuse the card and ask her to pay for it, or tell her to leave. Drama is one thing, and I don’t want it in my store.” *clicks*

    Me: “I’m afraid the card is no longer valid. You’re going to have to pay with something else.”

    Woman: *turns red* “T-this is UNACCEPTABLE! I’m never coming back to this store, and you can bet your a** that I will make it my life goal to make sure that THIS PLACE CLOSES!” *leaves*

    Me: *tries not to laugh* “Have a nice day, ma’am!”

    (She leaves but her husband hangs back to talk to me.)

    Husband: “I knew it would turn out like this. She does this all the time when she sees an opportunity of getting free stuff.”

    (I never saw them again.)

    Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 7
    Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 6
    Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 5

    The Weather Outside Is Frightful, And The Customers Are Worse

    | USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in a discount retail store and being a discount store, we don’t have special sales for holidays or anything of that nature. Occasionally – well, more than I’d like – I come across a difficult customer who seems to make the atmosphere uneasy for my customer and me. The customer begins to put her items on my counter for me to ring up. After a few moments I ring up all of the 53 items she intends to purchase.)

    Me: “You’re total is $346.70, Ma’am. Will you being paying with cash, debit, or credit?”

    Customer: “I am paying in the form of money.”

    Me: “All righty, ma’am, whenever you’re ready.”

    (After about five minutes of the customer digging in her purse, she begins staring at the bagged items in front of her.)

    Me: “Ma’am, is something wrong? Did you forget your form of payment?”

    Customer: “Why the F*** are you asking me if I forgot my payment? I’m trying to calculate if you correctly rang up all my items, each only one time and not several so your greedy a** can get something for free from hard working Americans!”

    (I stare blankly at her for a few seconds until she prompts me to void out the transaction and ring each item again, with my computer screen facing her so she can watch her amount build up. During this she begins to ask questions on why this item was this much and this item was this much, etc… I finally finish ringing each item again.)

    Me: “You’re total is $346.70.”

    Customer: “You b****, you did it again! You scanned something that I did not bring up here!”

    (My seasonal employees are now looking at me and my customer with a horrified face.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I rang every item up once. I don’t understand why you are making these accusations/ You watched my screen as every item was scanned only once.”

    Customer: “Well unfortunately, if you are not a little b**** liar, I don’t have enough money to pay the entire amount, so you will have to f****** take some stuff off. I need to speak to your f****** manager.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I am the manager and I will happily take any items you do not want to purchase off of your purchase.”

    (She begins going through the bags and throwing items at me to take off. I take all the items she wished not to purchase off.)

    Me: “You’re total is $15.76, ma’am.”

    (She proceeds to give me a 20-dollar bill, I give her, her change and she proceeds on her merry way out the door with the two items she purchased.)

    Coworker: “What the h*** just happened?”

    Me: “Merry Christmas.”

    A Flashing Light-Bulb Moment

    | Reading, England, UK | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (I work for a major DIY store and often work on the returns desk. One day a customer comes in carrying a bag from one of our competitors. From it he pulls a box of Christmas tree lights.)

    Customer: “I’ve bought these lights, and they keep flashing. I don’t want them to flash; I want them to stay on all the time.”

    (I look at the box of lights and notice they clearly have the name of the competitor on them.)

    Me: “I’ll just stop you there, sir. These lights were bought at [Competitor] and this is [My Store].”

    (The customer looks at his lights, looks at me and my uniform, and finally the light bulb goes on.)

    Customer: “Bloody h***, I’ve just come from there!”

    Out Of State, Out Of Mind, Part 2

    , | TN, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (I manage a customer service department for a company that sells aftermarket automotive accessories. We needed to confirm a shipping address to ship a product to a customer because the address that the customer entered during the online checkout process wasn’t coming up as valid in our system – so we called the customer for verification.)

    Customer: “Hello?”

    Rep: “Yes, ma’am, this is [Rep] from [Company] and we are needing to verify your shipping address because it’s unfortunately not coming up as valid.”

    Customer: “Umm, what do ya’ll have down?”

    Rep: *reads off address*

    Customer: “Yeah, that’s it.”

    (I had already googled the zip code provided and have now figured out the problem. The customer put in the state as Iowa but, to our disbelief, the address and Zip code links her to Ohio.)

    Rep: “Ma’am, according to your Zip code you’re in Ohio and not Iowa.”

    Customer: “Oh, no, that can’t be right. I’ve lived in Iowa for 10 years at least. Who are you to tell me where I do and don’t live anyway? I just want my stuff shipped! THIS IS A CHRISTMAS PRESENT AND YOU WILL RUIN MY CHRISTMAS IF I DON’T GET IT!”

    (We have since pulled up Google maps and located her residence to be certain. We are positive that she really lives in Ohio and not Iowa since the address is still matching our search results and at this point everyone in the office is listening since the rep has graciously put her on speaker phone.)

    Rep: “Okay, ma’am, just to double check…” *proceeds to describe the customers residence to the customer*

    Customer: “Wow, that’s exactly what my house looks like. Ya’ll are some smart people! Where are ya’ll located?”

    Rep: “Our office is in Tennessee, and where do you live again?”

    Customer: “IOWA! Gosh what is so hard to understand about that?”

    Rep: “I’m sorry ma’am. We’ve got this worked out and we are shipping your package today, to Iowa.” *but really to her confirmed address in Ohio*

    (The rep finished up the phone call and hung up. We shipped the package and a few days later we called to confirm that the customer received her package. She did, in Ohio according to the UPS tracking number.)

    Out Of State, Out Of Mind

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