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    Allergic To Common Sense

    | Norway | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Top

    (I am the store manager of a fairly new store that sells accessories aimed at women and children. It is clear to most customers that we do not sell any high-quality jewelry, only mixed-metal ones. Its a fairly quiet day and I am fixing the music system that is located behind the register. I do not hear the customer come in, which I would come to regret. Sitting on my knees, I suddenly hear a voice.)

    Customer: “Is it possible to get any help here, or are you just going to be sitting on your fat a**?”

    Me: “I am so sorry, ma’am. I was trying to fix our music system and I didn`t hear you come in. What can I do for you today?”

    (The customer does not look me in the eye during the whole conversation.)

    Customer: “Yeah, right. Well, I have a problem with your store and I demand to see the manager. NOW.”

    Me: “That would be me, ma’am. What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: *sighs* “Really? You? Okay. I bought a pair of earrings here and I’m allergic so I am going to get my money back.”

    Me: “Okay, well it`s against store policy to take back earrings, due to health issues, but—”

    Customer: “That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. In my 70 years on this planet I have never experienced any problems of this sort.”

    Me: “Forgive me, ma’am, but I find that hard to believe as no other store in this city will take back earrings, unless there is a problem with them.”

    Customer: “THERE IS A PROBLEM WITH THEM. I am allergic!”

    Me: “There is nothing wrong with the earrings. They are the way they are supposed to be. They are made with mixed metals, which we make perfectly clear to all customers who ask about allergies. If you knew you were allergic you should have gone to the jewelry store and bought some gold or silver ones. That being said, if you’ll let me look at the receipt, I’ll see what I can do.”

    Customer: “I don’t have a receipt. Why would I have that?”

    Me: “Without a receipt there is nothing I can do. It’s the company policy. I am sorry.”

    Customer: “That`s Illegal!”

    Me: “It’s not illegal. According to the law, you are actually never entitled to any money back unless there is something clearly wrong with the product. Of course, most stores still offer exchanges of products that have not been used, against a valid receipt. But, seeing as you claim there is something wrong with the product, we should skip to that part.”

    (The customer is staring at the ceiling with her arms crossed, but still listening, so I continue.)

    Me: “If a product does not meet the qualifications that they are supposed to, you are entitled to your money back.”

    Customer: “That is what I said.”

    Me: “No. Because there is nothing wrong with the earrings. They are made with mixed-metals, just as they were meant to.”

    Customer: “But I had an allergic reaction.”

    Me: “Yes, exactly. There is something wrong with you, not the earrings. What we can do is: you give me the earrings and I will send them to the head office and they will get in touch with you, as I am not allowed to hand out money without a receipt, regardless of the situation.”

    Customer: “I don’t have them.”

    Me: “I’m sorry? You don’t have the earrings?”

    Customer: “No? Why the h*** would I keep them?”

    Me: “Okay, let me get this straight. You come in here without a receipt, or any other proof of payment and demand money for a product that you can`t show me?”

    Customer: “Why is that a f****** problem?”

    Me: “Do you honestly not understand that If I allowed that, anyone could come in and claim that they bought something and get money for it without any form of proof?”

    Customer: “Do you think I am lying to you? I am offended!”

    Me: *sigh* “I am going to call the head office and ask them what to do. I need your information, please.”

    (The customer gives me her name, number, etc…)

    Me: “And when did you buy the earrings, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Sometime before Christmas.”

    Me: “So you bought them six months ago and decided to wait until now to make a complaint?”

    (The customer, still not looking me in the eye, or even in my direction, walks around the register and behind it and looks at the sign behind me.)

    Customer: “What is this?”

    Me: “It’s a sign, ma’am. With our store name.”

    Customer: “Yes, but what is this? This place?”

    Me: “[Store].”

    Customer: “YES! BUT WHAT IS IT CALLED?! I am going to tell your boss that you are a disgusting human being, a rat. And you will get fired!”

    Me: “I doubt that, ma’am. They don’t fire people for being right. You have a fantastic day!”

    (The customer ran out screaming. The head office told me I was right and just laughed at this woman.)

    Match Point To You

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Crazy Requests, Money

    (We have a price matching policy that gives 15% off the regular price from other stores, but there are conditions. It has to be off full price, personal shopping only, no online stores, and we have to be able to confirm it with the other store first. A customer thrusts a printed sheet for the price of a sewing machine from another store. She also hands me a printout from our site, stating our discount policy.  This is the first time I’ve dealt with this sort of sale so I take the time to read both printouts.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but this for an online purchase. Our policy does not include online.”

    Customer: “They have a shop front.”

    Me: “If that is right then I will need to ring them for confirmation.”

    (There’s no answer when I ring due to it being a Sunday and the store being closed. I am still reading the printouts when I notice that the price shown is discounted.)

    Me: “Sorry, there’s no answer, and I’ve just noticed that this price is discounted. We don’t match discount prices.”

    Customer: “It’s not discounted. It’s the normal price.”

    Me: “No, sorry. It shows both discount and full price. That full price is actually more than we sell the item for.”

    Customer: “No. It’s their normal price and you have to match it.”

    Me: “No, we do not match discount prices or online sales.”

    Customer: “Now you are just making things up. What other excuses are you going to come up with?”

    Me: “I would like to point out that I am reading this directly off the discount policy that you printed off and gave to me.”

    Customer: *snatches both sheets off me* “Well, we’ll just go to the other store then!” *storms out*

    Racism Needs To Check Out

    | TX, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Politics

    (I’m a cashier on an extremely hot Saturday afternoon in the bowels of Texas. I am bagging a customer’s goods.)

    Customer: “You’re doing it wrong!”

    Me: “Oh, so sorry! I’ll put these in a separate bag if you like.”

    Customer: “God, you let one of them become president and the rest of you quit trying.”

    Me: *biting my tongue* “Do you need help getting these into the cart, ma’am?”

    Customer: “What color are you, anyway?”

    (I hit the switch on the lights and called my manager over, who promptly checked the woman out. The customer vowed to visit the ‘white’ store next time.)

    Twenty-One Years And Nine Months

    | UK | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (Overheard at the shop where I work:)

    Coworker: “I’m sorry but we can’t accept a pregnancy test as ID… even if it is positive.”

    Town Isn’t Big Enough For The Both Of Them

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (I have the same first name as another employee who works in another store in another location. The location names both start with B and end with ‘town.’)

    Me: “Hi. Can I help you?”

    Customer: “I am here to pick up my order. My name is [Customer].”

    Me: “Sorry, I don’t have anything to be picked up under that name. When did you order it?”

    Customer: “I rang on Thursday and spoke to you.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I wasn’t working on Thursday.”

    Customer: “Yes, you were. You gave me your name.”

    Me: “No, I wasn’t here.”

    Customer: “WELL, SOMEONE USED YOUR NAME, THEN! I KNOW I SPOKE TO YOU. YOU ARE LYING TO ME!”

    Me: *twigging* “Hold on. Just let me make a phone call to see if I can find your order.”

    Customer: “About time, too!”

    Me: *on phone, loudly* “Hi, this is [My Name] from [B***town] Store. Can I speak to [My Name], please?” *she answers* “Hi, this is [My Name]. By any chance do you have an order put aside for [Customer]? You do? Well she’s here at my store to pick it up.” *to the customer* “You placed your order with [My Name] at [Other B***town] store.”

    Customer: “No, I got the number from the catalogue.”

    (I show her the catalogue, pointing out the two locations and numbers, right next to each other. There’s no apology, just a demand for it to be sent to us because she needs it today.)

    Me: “Sorry, not possible. It can take two weeks to get to us. If you need it you have to go there to pick it up.”

    (The customer stomped away.)

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