• Holy Guacamole, Get Off The Phone!
    (1,521 thumbs up)
  • May Theme Of The Month: Movie Mayhem!

    Not Their Brightest Outdoor Light-Bulb Moment

    | Ottawa, ON, Canada | Bizarre, Home Improvement

    Me: “[Company] Lighting, how may I help you?”

    Customer: “Hi, do you carry outdoor lighting?”

    Me: “Yes, we sure do! Were you looking for a specific kind?”

    Customer: “Oh, I’m sorry. I’ve dialed the wrong number.” *click*

    Me: “But…”

    Do Not Act Honorably

    , | WA, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

    Customer: “Where is my order?”

    Me: “It looks like we had an issue billing your purchase due to a ‘do not honor’ message from your card. We were successful in billing it recently.”

    Customer: “EXCUSES! I demand some sort of free gift or something for having to wait. My teenagers come up with better excuses; do you want me to list some?”

    Me: “I am really sorry for any confusion. We could not bill this order because your card would not let us. We would recommend reaching out to them for more information as to why they would not allow this charge to go through.”


    Me: “I am really sorry for this persisting confusion, a ‘do not honor’ message has nothing to do with the funds on the card. It is simply the card company putting a temporary hold on any purchases made on that card. For your security they do not provide us with any information as to why.”

    Customer: “Well, then, I really need something free because you guys are making me wait to get my order!”

    No Masters Over Me

    , | UK | Bad Behavior, School

    (Several young men come in and begin playing on the demonstration consoles. After a short period they begin acting very inappropriately: shouting, vulgar language, etc.  I approach the group.)

    Me: “Excuse me, but I have to ask that you calm down or I am going to have to ask you to leave.”

    Customer #1: “Whatever.”

    Group: *sniggers*

    Me: “As I said, ‘sir,’ you need to keep your voices down and your language appropriate, or I am going to have to ask you to go.”

    Customer #1: “You can’t talk to me like that. I want to speak to your manager.”

    Me: “I’m afraid she is unavailable. If you’d like I can call security and you can speak to them.”

    Customer #1: *angry* “I’m not going to be talked down to by someone that works in a shop; you need to learn your place!”

    (At this my manager had come over and, obviously seeing my anger, told me to go calm down. When I returned, the lads had gone and I went on with my day and forgot all about the incident. Several weeks later, as part of my Master’s, I was working at the university setting up for an undergraduate laboratory assessment, which I was assisting the lecturer in demonstrating. In came the undergrads, and lo and behold there was my stuck up customer sitting at the bench which I am in charge of. We exchanged a glance and at the professor’s words ‘the demonstrators will be marking you on your practical skills during the course of this assessment, which accounts for 20% of your practical marks,’ his expression changed, and this time, the entitled brat did not look as confident.)

    Probably Praying For Nicer Customers

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Bizarre, Religion, Theme Of The Month

    (I just clocked out for lunch, and am on my way out of the building when this exchange occurs.)

    Customer: “Hi. I think you may want to call security. There’s a really weird guy outside towards the other side of the building.”

    Me: “I’ll notify someone right away.” *I notify security after looking, but hear nothing of what happened*

    (It turned out one of my coworkers was outside praying.)

    A Confusion Intrusion

    | Australia | Books & Reading, Extra Stupid

    (The store I work for is famous for finding music and DVDs for customers who aren’t always certain what it is they’re looking for. As a result, we often end up special ordering for many customers, and the policy is to call to inform the customer when their order has arrived in store. If no one answers, staff are encouraged to leave a message, but sometimes customers call back anyway to let us know they’re coming in or just to ask questions. Sometimes, though, they just call because we did first…)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Music Store]; you’re speaking with [My Name].”

    Customer: “Hello?”

    Me: “Hello, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “…Who is this?”

    Me: “[My Name] from [Music Store]. Did you have an enquiry?”

    (There’s a long pause in which the customer doesn’t say anything.)

    Me: “Hello? Are you still there?”

    Customer: “Why did you… What do you mean?”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “Why would I have an enquiry?”

    Me: “I only meant… What was your reason for calling today?”

    Customer: “I didn’t call you.”

    (It dawns on me where the confusion must be coming from.)

    Me: “You… did you have a missed call from this number, by chance? My coworker might have been calling about an order you placed.”

    Customer: “What order?”

    Me: “Have you placed an order with us recently? If you give me your name I can check the order for you.”

    Customer: *gives surname*

    Me: “Ah, yes, here it is. Your order for [Title] came in this morning. We were just calling to let you know.”

    Customer: “You can do that?!”

    Me: “All the time, sure. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

    Customer: “…Don’t call here again.” *click*

    Page 5/455First...34567...Last