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    Giving Them A Minor Earful

    | IL, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (I work in an alternative store that sells body jewelry and such. My earlobes are stretched to about the size of a nickel. A woman and her daughter come in to the store.)

    Daughter: “Mom, I want to stretch my earlobes like that girl.”

    Mom: “Absolutely not! Those look disgusting. You’re not ruining your body like her.”

    Me: *standing five feet away* “Well, one pro to ear stretching is that it does not affect your hearing at all… Just so you know.”

    Mom: *to daughter* “Well, maybe you can have really small ones.”

    Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 4

    | New Zealand | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money

    (My manager is serving a customer who has asked for a discount.)

    Manager: “Sure, I can give you 10% off.”

    Customer: “Hmm, what about 15%?”

    Manager: *feeling generous* “Yeah, I suppose I could give you 15% off.”

    Customer: “What about 20%?”

    Manager: “20% is okay.”

    Customer: “30%?”

    Manager: “15%.”

    Customer: “30%?”

    Manager: “10%.”

    Customer: “What do you mean 10%? You already said I could have 20%.”

    Manager: “Which you asked for and I agreed but you upped it; you can either take the 10% now or my next offer.”

    Customer: “Hmmm, I’ll take the next offer then.”

    Manager: “Zero percent discount it is, then.”

    Customer: “What? You can’t do that!”

    Manager: “I just did.”

    You Just Weeded Yourself Out, Part 2

    | Portland, OR, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal

    (My coworker is cleaning out the fitting room and finds a fairly generous bag of weed. Later in the day the police stop by in the back room and are picking it up. Meanwhile on the floor…)

    Customer: “Hey, I left a bag here earlier.”

    Me: “Okay, what kind of bag?”

    Customer: “Just a ziploc bag with some… cooking herbs…”

    Me: “Uh. Well, my coworker did find a bag matching that description earlier.”

    Customer: “Can I have it back?”

    Me: “No.”

    Customer: “What? Why not! You guys are stealing my… herbs. I’m a… chef… I need those!”

    Me: “Well, I can go tell the police officers in the back that the owner of the marijuana came back if you would like.”

    (The customer turned around and ran right out of the store.)

    Related:
    You Just Weeded Yourself Out

    Giving That Request The Boot

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

    (I manage a retail clothing store and I am at the counter when a mother and daughter walk up with a pair of our boots in the box to return.)

    Me: “Hi, ladies, what can I help you with?”

    Daughter: “Yes, I talked to the other manager, [My Assistant], yesterday about the studs coming off my boots. She said I could re-order them.”

    Me: “Absolutely! I am sorry they are falling apart.”

    (I try and see if the boot can be ordered, since the boots launched some time ago.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but the boots are unavailable for re-order. I would be more than happy to return them for you or you can swap it for whatever you like.”

    Mother: “But she wants the boots. Can’t you give us something since they can’t be ordered?”

    Me: “Ma’am, that’s exactly what I am trying to do. I am more than willing to return them or exchange them for whatever your daughter would like.”

    Mother: “But she wants the boots. You can’t give us anything?”

    Me: “So let me get this correct: you would like me to give you something for free AND let you keep the boots?”

    Daughter: *getting frustrated with the audacity of her mother asking for such a ridiculous request* “No, it’s okay… I’ll keep the boots.” *mumbles to her mother* “Let’s go, mom.”

    Refunder Blunder, Part 15

    , | Olympia, WA, USA | At The Checkout, Home Improvement

    (I work the return desk at a home improvement store that’s going out of business. We stop accepting returns unless the item was purchased prior to liquidation, and there are signs posted everywhere stating all sales are final. An elderly gentleman walks up to the desk with an item return.)

    Me: *checking receipt* “I see this is a purchase made after the liquidation process started. I’m afraid all sales are final.”

    Customer: *sputtering* “Well, you should have signs posted warning people!”

    (I show him where the signs are.)

    Customer: “THOSE weren’t there when I bought this!”

    Me: “They have been there over a month.

    Customer: “Well, you should print it on the receipts, so people don’t waste time!”

    (I take out his receipt and show him the text.)

    Customer: “YOU JUST PUT THAT ON THERE, YOU LITTLE B****!”

    Related:
    Refunder Blunder, Part 14
    Refunder Blunder, Part 13
    Refunder Blunder, Part 12

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