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    Match Point To You

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Crazy Requests, Money

    (We have a price matching policy that gives 15% off the regular price from other stores, but there are conditions. It has to be off full price, personal shopping only, no online stores, and we have to be able to confirm it with the other store first. A customer thrusts a printed sheet for the price of a sewing machine from another store. She also hands me a printout from our site, stating our discount policy.  This is the first time I’ve dealt with this sort of sale so I take the time to read both printouts.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but this for an online purchase. Our policy does not include online.”

    Customer: “They have a shop front.”

    Me: “If that is right then I will need to ring them for confirmation.”

    (There’s no answer when I ring due to it being a Sunday and the store being closed. I am still reading the printouts when I notice that the price shown is discounted.)

    Me: “Sorry, there’s no answer, and I’ve just noticed that this price is discounted. We don’t match discount prices.”

    Customer: “It’s not discounted. It’s the normal price.”

    Me: “No, sorry. It shows both discount and full price. That full price is actually more than we sell the item for.”

    Customer: “No. It’s their normal price and you have to match it.”

    Me: “No, we do not match discount prices or online sales.”

    Customer: “Now you are just making things up. What other excuses are you going to come up with?”

    Me: “I would like to point out that I am reading this directly off the discount policy that you printed off and gave to me.”

    Customer: *snatches both sheets off me* “Well, we’ll just go to the other store then!” *storms out*

    Racism Needs To Check Out

    | TX, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Politics

    (I’m a cashier on an extremely hot Saturday afternoon in the bowels of Texas. I am bagging a customer’s goods.)

    Customer: “You’re doing it wrong!”

    Me: “Oh, so sorry! I’ll put these in a separate bag if you like.”

    Customer: “God, you let one of them become president and the rest of you quit trying.”

    Me: *biting my tongue* “Do you need help getting these into the cart, ma’am?”

    Customer: “What color are you, anyway?”

    (I hit the switch on the lights and called my manager over, who promptly checked the woman out. The customer vowed to visit the ‘white’ store next time.)

    Twenty-One Years And Nine Months

    | UK | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (Overheard at the shop where I work:)

    Coworker: “I’m sorry but we can’t accept a pregnancy test as ID… even if it is positive.”

    Town Isn’t Big Enough For The Both Of Them

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (I have the same first name as another employee who works in another store in another location. The location names both start with B and end with ‘town.’)

    Me: “Hi. Can I help you?”

    Customer: “I am here to pick up my order. My name is [Customer].”

    Me: “Sorry, I don’t have anything to be picked up under that name. When did you order it?”

    Customer: “I rang on Thursday and spoke to you.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I wasn’t working on Thursday.”

    Customer: “Yes, you were. You gave me your name.”

    Me: “No, I wasn’t here.”

    Customer: “WELL, SOMEONE USED YOUR NAME, THEN! I KNOW I SPOKE TO YOU. YOU ARE LYING TO ME!”

    Me: *twigging* “Hold on. Just let me make a phone call to see if I can find your order.”

    Customer: “About time, too!”

    Me: *on phone, loudly* “Hi, this is [My Name] from [B***town] Store. Can I speak to [My Name], please?” *she answers* “Hi, this is [My Name]. By any chance do you have an order put aside for [Customer]? You do? Well she’s here at my store to pick it up.” *to the customer* “You placed your order with [My Name] at [Other B***town] store.”

    Customer: “No, I got the number from the catalogue.”

    (I show her the catalogue, pointing out the two locations and numbers, right next to each other. There’s no apology, just a demand for it to be sent to us because she needs it today.)

    Me: “Sorry, not possible. It can take two weeks to get to us. If you need it you have to go there to pick it up.”

    (The customer stomped away.)

    Get In Line Or Get Out

    | Duluth, MN, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Theme Of The Month

    (It is the Christmas season, when our store closes at midnight. A shopper is still shopping in toys at 12:15 when we approach her.)

    Me: “Ma’am, can I help you find something? We are closed now and need you to check out so we can go home.”

    Customer: “No, I’m just looking.”

    Me: “Well, then, we need you to check out. The store has been closed for 15 minutes.”

    Customer: “Well, there was a line up there!”

    Me: “So… uh… get in it?”

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