November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Not The Four-Man For The Job

, | OR, USA | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

(I work on a delivery truck for an appliance store. We work in teams of two to carry sometimes very heavy appliances through tight spaces and install them. Today, we have an exceptionally large fridge to deliver, and it needs at least 30 inches of space to get in. The customer’s doorways into the kitchen are 29 inches. The only other way in is through the back door, but we would have to lift the 400-500 pound fridge over a counter to get into the kitchen. For obvious safety reasons, we are supposed to call in to schedule a four-man delivery team to take care of tough jobs like this.)

Coworker: “Sir, unfortunately your fridge is too large for us to get it in. It will fit one way but we need to reschedule to have four guys come out to lift it.”

Customer: “No, it’s going in that house today.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t have another team that can come out to help us today, and we still have five more deliveries to take care of today anyway.”

Customer: “I don’t f****** care! We aren’t rescheduling. You two are going to put that in the f****** kitchen right now!”

Coworker: “Sir, this isn’t something we can do with just two guys. And if you continue to yell and curse at us, I’m declining this delivery and we’ll leave right now.”

Customer: “I don’t see how that is my problem. You two just need to do your d*** job!”

Me: “Actually, it is your problem because YOUR house is too small to fit the fridge YOU selected. We’re trying to make this work, but you are being very uncooperative.”

(The customer continues to yell, curse, and threaten us, so we call in to our warehouse to tell our boss what’s going on. He gives us the ok to leave and says he’ll call the customer himself.)

Coworker: “Okay, sir, we’re putting the fridge back on our truck and leaving. Our boss will be calling you in the next few minutes to explain the situation and set up a four-man team.

Customer: “Don’t you dare put my fridge on that truck!” *to his wife, who has been standing there only marginally less belligerent the whole time* “If they touch that fridge, call the cops!” *to us again* “I’m gonna sue you for this!” *disappears inside house*

(My coworker and I start to put the fridge back on the truck, not too worried about the cops since the product is technically still ours, when he comes back out with an appliance dolly.)

Customer: “You leave that fridge right there! If you two f***s won’t carry it in I’ll do it by myself!”

(I look at my coworker, who’s been working here longer, to see if we can actually do that, and he shrugs.)

Coworker: “All right, sir, you’re welcome to try, but you’re probably going to dent and scratch the h*** out of your machine and house.”

(We left the fridge and drove off while the customer continued to curse at and insult us. A few days later I heard from another coworker who was on the four-man team. When he got there the fridge was still sitting in the customer’s garage and the doorways had been completely torn apart, but the customer apparently couldn’t manage to do it himself after all.)

Doesn’t Have A Good Frame On Pricing

| MD, USA | Money, Spouses & Partners

(I work in the framing department of a big name arts and crafts store. I’ve just finished an order for a female customer that comes out to about $170 total. (We have a good sale on; her original total was about $450). She realizes her husband has her wallet and groans a bit.)

Customer: “Shoot. My husband will never go for this. I knew I should have taken my wallet with me.”

(She calls her husband and he comes over.)

Customer’s Husband: “Wow, that looks good!” *he sees the total* “It’s going to be how much?! Are you kidding me?”

Customer: “Honey, it’s for [Son]’s college graduation. We were going to give him that much on a gift card anyway.”

(They argue for a while, while I stand there feeling horribly awkward.)

Customer’s Husband: “No, that’s ridiculous. I bet I could get this guy I know to do it for $50. I work on his boats; he’ll do it for me.”

(Note that $50 isn’t even enough to cover the discounted glass, let alone frame and assembly.)

Customer: “Fine. Talk to your guy.”

(As he stomps off the wife turns back to me.)

Customer: “I’ll be back tomorrow.”

(I worked the next night, and yes, she did come back.)

Very Green With The Green Fingers

| Leeds, England, UK | Extra Stupid

(I work in a garden centre for a major DIY retailer.)

Customer: *in a posh accent* “Excuse me, do you sell reverse osmosis water…”

Me: “N—”

Customer: “Or distilled water?”

Me: “No, sorry, we don’t. What do you want it for?”

Customer: “Well, I have a house plant and I have read that they do not like tap water.”

Me: “That’s right; they prefer rain water. You could just harvest that.”

Customer: “How would I do that?!”

Me: *stifling a face/palm* “Well… we have water butts over there, buckets on aisle [number], or you could even use one of those pots you’re holding in your hand.”

Customer: “Oh, great, can you direct me to the compost for my house plant?”

Me: “Of course, come this way… What kind of house plant do you have?”

Customer: “One with lots of leaves.”

The Strife Of A Housewife

| USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Spouses & Partners, Technology

(I’m a customer shopping for fridges. I find one I like and go to find an employee to purchase the fridge. The only employee who handles fridges is talking to another customer.)

Customer: “So, this fridge… keeps things… cold?” *he asks very skeptical*

Employee: “Yes, sir, the general point of all fridges are to keep things cold.”

Customer: “No. My wife and I used to have a fridge that cooks things.”

(Not only is the employee just stunned by this statement, but everyone around who hears this pulls a face.)

Employee: “A fridge… that cooks things?”

Customer: “Yes, you put stuff like vegetables, milk, and chicken in it. And when you take the chicken or vegetables out they’re all cooked.”

Employee: “So they’re all cooked and ready to eat right now?”

Customer: “No! What do you think I’m dumb or something?”

Employee: “No, I’m just trying to find the particular item you’re looking for… So, you put in raw chicken and veggies and it cooks them automatically?”

Customer: “Yes. Put them in raw, and then they come out cooked.” *explains as if the employee is slow*

Employee: “Does it cook the milk as well?”

Customer: “NO! That would be dumb. It would just spoil instantly. It just keeps the drinks cool.”

Employee: “Hmmm, I can’t seem to think of the item you’re looking for. Let me get someone a bit more knowledgeable.”

(Hearing this, I come to realize that apparently there are other employees I could ask for help, but at this point I’m really curious as to what this man is talking about. The employee shortly returns with an older employee.)

Old Employee: “So you put in raw food and it comes out cooked right?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Old Employee: “Okay… and when you put in drinks or milk it keeps them cold right?”

Customer: “Yes.” *looks at younger employee* “See, he clearly knows what I’m talking about.”

Old Employee: “So, out of curiosity, when your wife takes out the cooked food… did you by chance re-heat it?”

Customer: “Well, duh…”

Old Employee: “Duh what, sir?”

Customer: “Of course she had to heat it up. The fridge kept it cold like it was suppose too. DUH!”

(It is at this moment where the customer’s wife has come to re-join her husband after looking at other appliances.)

Customer’s Wife: “So, did you have any luck finding a new fridge, hun?”

Customer: “No… I tried to find one that cooks like our old one but they don’t have it.”

Customer’s Wife: “A fridge that… cooks?”

Customer: “Yeah, just like our old one. You know, you put the chicken in raw and you take it back out later before dinner and it’s all cooked. Just like last night.”

Customer’s Wife: “Hunny… I cooked that chicken and put it back in the fridge. Fridges don’t cook food. They just keep them cold.”

Customer: *turns beet red in embarrassment as he finally realizes just how stupid of a moment he had* “Um, I think it’s time to leave.”

(The husband left in a hurried walk, with his wife in tow saying, ‘But what about the fridge, Hunny? What about the fridge?’)

The Wrong Supermarket For Super Hackers

| Saranac Lake, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

(It is the early 1990s. It is my last week of work at the only department store in town and we are just rolling out the first UPC scanners in the store. This is new technology at the time and understandably sometimes things scanned wrong. After a third item rings up at the incorrect price:)

Customer: “You are making things ring up wrong on purpose just so you can pocket the extra money!”

Me: “Believe me, lady, if I knew how to hack the computer system here to change the prices I wouldn’t be working here!”