October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

How Spiders Say Hallow

| Milwaukee, WI, USA | Holidays

(I am mildly arachnophobic, but have always been excited to see scary decorations every Halloween. I’ve never gotten to decorate my house before, so upon receiving a free set of fake spider web decorations, I decide I’m courageous enough to put them up and get a fake spider to go along with them. I go to a Halloween store to purchase a spider. I carefully stay away from the many moving spider props, and pick out a traditional furry spider with wire legs. When I go to purchase my spider at the cashier’s station, a large spider drops down from the ceiling into my face.)

Me: *gasps loudly and jumps a foot back* “Jesus Christ!”

Employee: *laughs* “Well, we know the props are doing their job!” *points up to the spider*

(The spider is on a string, and is a prop that I had noticed in the aisle, advertised to drop down from where it’s hung.)

Me: *sheepishly* “I’m arachnophobic.”

Employee: “Oh, gosh, sorry about that!”

(I was able to laugh it off along with the employee, but I still don’t know what I expected upon going into a Halloween store!)

Wish You Could Just Bury Your Head In The Sand

| Australia | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

(There is a promotion on at the toy store where I work for a new type of sand that comes with several sets of molds. Because the promotion is going so well, we run out of molds in the first few days and are waiting for our new stock to come in next week. We used to have many signs around the store advertising both the sand and the molds, but we have taken down all the mold advertisements and actually put up a few sign saying that we’ve run out.)

Customer #1: “Hi. My son’s birthday is next week. I want a pack of [Sand] and three molds to go with it.”

Me: “Unfortunately, we’ve sold out of molds, but we are getting more in on Tuesday. Would you still like to buy a pack of [Sand] now or would you like me to put it aside for when the molds come in?”

Customer #1: “EXCUSE ME? What do you mean you’ve sold out?!”

Me: “Um… I mean we’ve sold out. We sold out a few days ago actually, but, as I said before, we are getting more in on Tuesday.”


Me: “Pardon?”


Me: “Ma’am, do you actually think it would be possible for me to know that you, a stranger, would need this product for your son’s birthday and have kept some aside for you? This is the first time I’ve met you.”

Customer #1: “This is actually ridiculous. I will be back on Tuesday for my sand and three molds. There will be trouble if I don’t get them. Do you understand? TROUBLE!”

Me: “…”

(Customer #1 storms out of the store and I don’t see her for the rest of the day. I don’t work Tuesdays so I leave a note for my coworker saying explains what happened and to watch out for her. I come in on Saturday morning for my next shift and there is only one packet of [Sand] left and one mold to go with it. I am currently ringing up both of them for Customer #2 who regularly comes in to buy products for his daughter.)

Customer #2: “My daughter is going to love these! Did you know it’s her birthday tomorrow?”

Me: “No way! Wish her a very happy birthday from m- OH, NO!”

(I see Customer #1 come through the doors and head straight towards me.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer #1: “You know what I want.”

Me: “Ma’am, did you not buy the products on Tuesday?”

Customer #1: “NO! I didn’t get a chance on Tuesday. I was doing things. Now give me my products.”

Me: “Actually, ma’am, we’ve sold out again, this time of both products. I can’t sell you anything. If you had come in earlier in the week when I told you the stock was arriving then you may have been able to purchase them.”

(Customer #1 throws a huge fit and knocks over a large stand and shattering many products in the process.)

Me: “Miss! You need to calm down! I just sold the last product to this man. You’re too late. You need to leave the store.”

(Customer #1 proceeded to push over Customer #2, take his bag and make a run for it. Unfortunately for her, Customer #2 was an undercover police officer, who proceeded to catch her, arrest her, and charge her with both assault and theft! Customer #2 got the store a huge amount of compensation for for the broken products, which we ended up giving to him to spend on his daughter’s birthday. I never saw Customer #1 again!)

Don’t Count Your Chickens Before They’ve Burned

| Fort Worth, TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(I work in a well-known retail store, where the bakery and deli are in the same area. This is important for this story. I work in the bakery side and sometimes help slice meat for the deli; therefore, I have no idea how to help a customer order a deli platter. This particular night deli is shorthanded because one of their workers broke her kneecap a few weeks ago.)

Customer: “Hi, can you help me with something in deli?”

Me: “I can certainly try to, ma’am.”

Customer: “I was wondering: do you have any of your deli platter menus?”

Me: “Let me check for you… Okay, here you go, ma’am.”

Customer: “This doesn’t look like the menu my mother has at her house.”

Me: “They differ store to store, ma’am.”

Customer: “Is there anyone who can help me right now who knows the deli?”

Me: “No, ma’am, not at this moment in time. They have to pull out the rotisserie chickens so they do not burn…

Customer: “Well, I’m the customer right now. I should be more important than future customers!”

Me: “As I said before, ma’am, they are more than happy to help you once they have the chickens out of the oven. The chickens are more important than you right now.”

(At this moment my bread oven started to go off, so I walk away, thinking she will just wait there for a deli associate to finish up their chickens and come help her. A few minutes later…)

Deli Associate: “Hey, where’s that customer who was standing at the counter waiting for help?”

Me: “I guess she didn’t want to wait for you to finish your chickens…”

Deli Associate: “Oh well. I’m still a little backed up. Can you stay by the slicers and help out?”

Me: “Of course, not a problem!”

(A few more minutes go by, and the customer still hasn’t shown back up. A manager is coming towards me so I think he encountered the customer and she said something to him, but…)

Manager: “Everything okay over here, [My Name]?”

Me: “Yeah, all good.”

Manager: “Okay, because I got a call earlier about a customer needing help and not getting it.”

Me: “Well, sir, I explained to her that this was not my area and she would have to wait a few minutes for a more experienced deli associate to finish their rotisseries.”

Manager: “Ok, that’s fine. Thank you, [My Name].”

(At this point, I’m thinking it’s all fine and dandy. A few minutes pass, and I see the customer with a CSS.)

Customer: “Her! She’s the one who wouldn’t help me!”

CSS: “Ma’am, is the deli your area?”

Me: “No. As I have already explained to her, she had to wait for a deli associate to finish taking out the chickens. That’s our policy. We can’t sell a dry, burned chicken. Sorry, ma’am.”

(She leaves the store in a huff. Later that night I see the CSS as I’m leaving for the night.)

Me: “Sorry for the trouble earlier.”

CSS: “Oh, no problem. [Manager] explained the policies to me. Besides, that woman was a little crazy. She just started yelling at me as soon as I came out of the cash office!”

Me: “Wow. Well, good night. Have a good rest of your evening.”

CSS: “Ha, yeah, right. I’m a front end manager…”

Me: “Oh, right…”

Flea To The Devil

| SC, USA | Bad Behavior, Pets & Animals

(I am an assistant manager of an extremely popular supermarket. A middle-aged woman stops me as I pass the pet department.)

Customer: “Hey! You! I need some help.”

Me: “Sure thing, ma’am. I’m off the clock right now but I’ll see what I can do.”

Customer: “Tell me if this will work on puppies.” *thrusts box of flea medicine at my chest*

Me: “Well, it depends on the weight and age of the puppies. What breed are they?”

Customer: “Oh, my god! I don’t know! Some mutt my daughter found! I made her put it in the shed and it had puppies!”

Me: “Okay, not a problem. How old are they?”

Customer: “Three days.”

Me: “Wait, come again?”

Customer: “Are you deaf?! I said three days!”

Me: “Ma’am, you can’t put flea medicine, especially medicine for a dog ten pounds or heavier, on a puppy that’s three days old.”

Customer: “And why the h*** not!? I don’t want them getting fleas. Then they’d be all over my shed!”

Me: “Wait, they don’t even have fleas?”

Customer: “NO! You’re such an idiot!” *grabs the box back from him* “They’re at my house and I’ll put whatever I want on them!”

Me: *somewhat frantically* “Ma’am, they’ll die.”

Customer: “GOOD! I want those f****** ugly dogs dead! Those mutt, mix-breed dogs are a sin and will go to hell! I have a purebred Yorkshire Terrier and can’t risk having fleas in MY shed! I’m calling corporate about you trying to tell me what to do!”

(She then grabbed a second box and stormed out of the aisle, shouting about “mix-breeds are the devil’s work.”)

An Unrewarding Exchange

| Fort Pierce, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

(At my job, cashiers are required to go through a spiel for every transaction such as offering extended warranties or store credit cards. The big thing we push is the free store Rewards program. Mostly it’s a points/rewards program, but occasionally it also gets the customer a discount as well on certain items.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am, would you like to sign up for our [Rewards Program]?

Customer: “No, you people always want me to sign up for some s***!”

Me: “Not a problem, ma’am.”

(We continue with the transaction. As I hit total, the register prompts me that the customer would save five dollars on her sweaters if she signs up for the program, which I am required to inform her.)

Me: “And ma’am, I know you said you didn’t want the rewards program, but if you sign up today at no charge, you would save $5 on your sweaters! Would you be inter—”

Customer: “NO! God-d***! I already said I don’t want your f****** card! God! Don’t you know how to listen?!”

Me: “That’s perfectly fine, ma’am. I am—”

Customer: “Just let me pay and get the h*** out!”

Me: “Okay, your total is [total]. Sorry I couldn’t help you save some money today.”


Me: “All right. Apologies, ma’am.”

(I finish the transaction and the customer leaves. The woman in line behind her has been very quiet but glaring at the previous woman.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am, how are you? Would you like to sign up for [Rewards Program]?”

Next Customer: “I’ll do it, but just so I can get the discount on these sweaters. And before you ask, no, thank you, I would not like the credit card, but unlike that woman, my mother taught me manners.”

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