I’ve been helping a woman shop for gifts for her daughter. She finds them cheaper on our website, but I’m unable to price-match due to stupid corporate rules. The woman buys three items and orders the other three online. After I ring her up for her three, she looks at me expectantly.

Customer: “So, now that I’ve bought these online, do I just pick them up now or…?” 

Me: “Well, you ordered them online so they’ll be shipped to the store in a few days.” 

Customer: “WHAT?! BUT I NEED THEM TODAY!” 

I’m staring in disbelief, not sure what she thought was going to happen. 

Me: “I apologize for the confusion, but you did order them online to get the sale price, so you’ll have to wait for them to come in, or you can buy them full price now and we can refund the difference when your order arrives.” 

Customer: “No, no, that won’t work for me. You will return and refund all of this right this instant.” 

I manage to keep my cool, despite her comments that we’re a scam and don’t know what good customer service means. I refund the three items she bought and she leaves, knocking over a display as she goes. 

Next Customer: “Jesus Christ, what a moron!”

I was working at a store when George Strait, the country singer, came in. My cashier was losing her mind before he even made it to the counter to pay for a service ticket and I had to send the poor girl to wait in the office. I took care of him away from the main registers and he wrote a check.

Me: “To run a check, I’ll need your ID.”

He just looked at me.

Me: “I’m sorry. I know who you are, but I need the driver’s license information to process the check.”

He laughed and it was all good. For the next eight years, my management laughed about the time I ID’d George Strait.

I was checking out an older black lady who brought up a floor model of a baby stroller.

Me: “Unfortunately, due to safety concerns and store policy, we are not able to sell the floor model. We don’t have any more in the store, but it looks like [Nearby Location] has one.”

Customer: *Rudely* “I shouldn’t have to drive somewhere else to get a stroller! You’re just holding this floor model for one of your white friends to buy. My sick dog needs this stroller, you racist! I’m going to post all over social media how racist you are, and you’re going to go viral!”

Me: *Shrugging* “Well, do what you gotta do, but you’re still not getting this stroller.”

She left, and she never came back, thankfully.

One day at the local store that I shop at often, I run into a lady who politely asks me if I know where something is. I turn around and point her in the right direction. She thanks me and walks away.

I continue my shopping, and another lady who must’ve overheard our conversation comes up to me and asks me where something else is.

Me: “I’m sorry, but I don’t know what that is. It isn’t something I use or buy.”

Lady: “You should know the products in the store you work at!”

Imagine a redheaded woman wearing a skull mask, black pants, and a maroon shirt. I don’t resemble any of the employees at this store.

Me: “Ma’am, in what world would an employer allow me to wear this getup?”

Still pissy with me, she huffs.

Lady: “Well, you helped that other woman.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I did. I knew what she was looking for and knew where she could find it. However, I don’t work here, obviously.”

We don’t use a lot of butter in the house, so it is a couple of weeks before we get round to buying more after running out. As it happens, both my wife and I buy some on the same day without the other realising. We will never use both tubs, we cannot donate or return it, and it seems a shame to throw it away. We offer it for free on a local selling site.

We get quite a lot of stupid comments and more from people who think they are hilarious. But eventually, someone does want it, so we arrange a time and date. They don’t show up.

I message them.

Me: “Hey, you didn’t show up yesterday. Do you want the butter still?”

Buyer: “Yeah, no. You can give it to someone else.”

Me: “Okay, please let us know if you are not turning up. I was waiting around for you.”

Buyer: “Whatever. It’s butter!”

After another couple of days of messing around to give something away for free, I’m regretting not just putting it in the bin. I get contacted by a very grateful single mother. I feel pretty bad, so I dig around and find a few more odds and ends that we will probably not eat, and she collects them.

I get a message from the first guy.

Buyer: “I will take that butter after all. My wife wants it now.”

Me: “It’s gone.”

Buyer: “Don’t be a d**k. I can come over now.”

Me: “Don’t. It’s gone.”

Buyer: “Yeah, right, who is going to pick up some second-hand butter?”

Me: “Well, not you. Someone who actually appreciated the gesture already claimed it.”

I blocked him straight after. Thankfully, he didn’t show up. I can’t stand people so ungrateful.