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    John Hancock Goes Shopping

    , | Melbourne, Australia |

    (I had been ringing up a customer’s purchases on the register and was just about to put through his credit card for payment.)

    Me: “Sir, just sign here please.”

    Customer: “No, I don’t sign.”

    Me: “You have to sign so that your credit card is verified – it shows you paid for it and not someone else.”

    Customer: “No, I don’t want to sign. Forget about it all, goodbye!”

    (The customer leaves his purchases on the counter which he’s just paid for, since the electronic system isn’t actually activated by a signature, it goes through automatically – the signature is just a formality.)

    Me: “Wait, where are you going? You just paid for this stuff! Are you going to leave it here? Hey!”

    (The customer exits the store, and my manager motions for me to follow, with a big mean smile on his face. I sigh and run after the customer.)

    Me: “Excuse me! Excuse me, you can’t just leave that stuff there–you need to come back and claim it or we’ll refund it for you.”

    Customer: “Why are you following me? What’s wrong with you? Leave me alone, I told you I didn’t want to sign anything!”

    Me: “I’m not going to chase you all over the city, but you should know you’ve got things in there you just paid for. You’re down 120 dollars if you leave them there.”

    Customer: “But I didn’t sign.”

    Me: “It doesn’t MATTER if you signed anything, your purchase still went through. Now are you going to come back and get your money or your items, or are you happy with donating 120 to our store?”

    Customer: “You’re crazy! I didn’t sign anything so I didn’t pay. You’re just trying to get me back there so I’ll buy more stuff! Leave me alone!”

    (I decide to give it up, since it’s clear this person isn’t going to listen to me–he’s convinced I’m trying to rip him off while in fact I’m doing the opposite…)

    Me: “Suit yourself then. Thanks for the 120.”

    (Sure enough, three days later the customer returns, angry about the store stealing money from him when he didn’t make a purchase. I roll my eyes and leave him for someone else to deal with. He was still yelling that he hadn’t signed anything.)

    Customer To The Rescue

    | Boone, IA, USA | Top

    (I was currently working in the electronics section of a discount super store, who’s favorite color use to be blue, when I was approached by a customer, which was surprising since the state was being hit by a significantly large ice storm.)

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like to pick up my pictures.”

    Me: “Hmm…it seems they aren’t in yet, when did you send them out?”

    Customer: *very angry* “They were supposed to be in today!”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, but the lab where they are processed is hours away and its too dangerous for the drivers to be out on the roads today.”

    Customer: “Well I made it, how come they can’t?”

    Me: “Sir, you live on the street behind the building, which is a much shorter and safer distance compared to the over 120 miles the driver would have to drive, especially on roads that not even emergency vehicles won’t go onto.”

    Customer: “I was told my pictures were going to be back today, and I want them today!”

    (I’m about to apologize to the man but am beaten to the punch by the customer behind him…)

    Customer #2: “Yeah! You guys should have dog sleds on the side just in case.”

    Original Customer: “Don’t be ridiculous!”

    Customer #2: *in a very apologetic tone* “I’m sorry, I thought it was my turn to make insane demands.”

    Original Customer: *storms off talking to the air about how rude people are*

    Customer #2: “That was fun!” *walks away*

    (Unfortunately, I never got to thank that second customer. Wherever you are Customer #2, thank you.)

    We Need One Of These In Every Store

    The Joy Of Sex(ism), Part 2

    , | Akron, OH, USA |

    (I’m a girl, and I work in a video game store.)

    Dude: “Are you guys hiring?”

    Me: “No, we just let some people go actually.”

    Dude: “Oh, I assumed they were desperate. I mean, they hired a girl.”

    Me: “I’ve worked here for 3 years.”

    Dude: “Oh, well can I ask the manager anyway?”

    Me: “Sure, he’s standing right over there.” *points to next register*

    Manager: “Don’t even ask. You just insulted my assistant manager.”

    The Joy Of Sex(ism)

    The Great Doll Heist of ’08

    | Rochester, NY, USA |

    (I was working in the back, getting things ready for the next floor set, and I had to pull some mannequins from the floor and dress them. I was dragging one of the full body forms towards the back, when a customer approached me.)

    Her: “Excuse me, do you work here?”

    (Note that I’m wearing the uniform and I still have a headset in my ear.)

    Me: “No, ma’am, I’m stealing this mannequin.”

    Her: “Oh, okay. thanks.”

    (She turns around to find someone else to help her.)

    Can We Get Anymore Clueless?

    | Chicago, IL, USA |

    Customer: “I want to buy these pans that I saw on sale online.”

    Me: “Alright, ma’am, what brand are they?”

    Customer: “I don’t know that!”

    Me: “Okay…how much are they?”

    Customer: “I don’t know that either!”

    Me: “Do you perhaps have a photo of the pans?”

    Customer: “I didn’t have time to do that!”

    Me: “Alright ma’am, sometimes things sold online are not sold in store.”

    Customer: “”All I know is that they were at this store and they were different colors.”

    Me: “What colors were the pans?”

    Customer: “I don’t remember!”

    (I show her every pot and pan set that was a different color from the norm. E.g., orange, green and blue. Of course, that wasn’t what she wanted. She picks out an item that wasn’t even close to like she wanted in the first place. She goes to put the item in her cart, but she had lots of stuff in her cart and it doesn’t fit.)

    Customer: “What am I supposed to do, it doesn’t fit in my cart!”

    (she acted like it was my fault the stuff didn’t fit. I guess I was suppose to shrink the box for her.)

    Me: “Well ma’am, why don’t you take some stuff out. Put the big stuff on the bottom and the small stuff on the top.”

    Customer: *looks at me like a deer in the headlights*

    (I was paged to another area of the store and walked away from her. I’m sure I would have punched her otherwise.)

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