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    Well That Throws A Spanner In The Wax

    | OH, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money

    (I work customer service for a retail store. We sell individual candles and you can grab them by a box. However, the box’s bar code is only for one candle not for four.)

    Customer: “I’d like to return these items.”

    (She pulls out a candle box with four candles and hands me her receipt. I begin to look it over.)

    Me: “Ma’am, you’re returning all four candles?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “Well it looks like you were originally only charged for one candle.”

    Customer: “It could be on a different receipt.”

    (I find this odd since if she grabbed the box then she probably bought the four candles together.)

    Me: “I can try looking it up by the credit card you used.”

    (She hands me the credit card over and I run it through and find that she had only been charged for one candle.)

    Me: “Well, you really were charged for only one candle.”

    Customer: “Oh! I’ll just keep these then.”

    Me: “Ma’am, now that I know that you didn’t pay for the other three, if you leave the store you would be stealing them.”

    (She ended up returning the one she wanted, too, and had to pay for the three candles she didn’t originally pay for!)

    Delayed By A Customer Is A Certainty Principle

    | Phoenix, AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

    (I’m standing in line waiting at the check-out of a popular department store. There’s no one behind me, and I’m not in a particular hurry. The woman in front of me is buying a single item, for which she has a coupon.)

    Cashier: “I’m sorry, but the coupon won’t scan. Did you—”

    Customer: “What do you mean it won’t scan?”

    Cashier: “Well, I see that this coupon is for [Brand Name item] and you’re trying to purchase [generic version of the same item]. The coupon only—”

    Customer: “It’s the same thing, isn’t it?”

    Cashier: “Well, no. The coupon only—”

    Customer: “This is ridiculous! Just scan the coupon!”

    Cashier: “I’m terribly sorry, but the coupon won’t—”

    Customer: “I came here because I had that coupon. Now put the discount on!”

    (Since it seems like we might be here all day, and I know that trying to explain her mistake won’t get anywhere, I interject.)

    Me: “Ma’am, how much is the coupon worth?”

    Customer: “It’s for two dollars. But—”

    Me: “If I give you two dollars, will you pay and take your item?”

    Customer: *insulted tone* “No! It’s the principle of the matter!”

    (I wound up waiting another five minutes while they called over the manager, and no, she did not get her discount)

    Taking The Credit And The Blame

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

    (I work in a newsagent that sells prepaid credit for mobile phones. The computer that prints out an individualised code to redeem the credit is unable to perform refunds so it is important that our staff triple checks the transaction before we hit the final OKAY. Sometimes customers would find this a little irritating. It was especially important because two of the different phone companies you could buy credit with had similar names. One was one of the major phone companies in Australia, the other very rarely purchased.)

    Me: “Sir, I would just like to confirm that you would like to purchase $30 credit to use with your [Less Popular Brand] phone company.”

    Customer: “For the last time, yes. How many times do you have to ask me?”

    Me: “I do apologise, sir, but we are required to ask twice per transaction because I cannot give you a refund if you change your mind. I have asked you a third time to be extra careful because you have ordered the [Less Popular Brand] which people often misread as the [Popular Brand] one.”

    Customer: “It is absolutely right. It is 100% definitely the [Less Popular Brand].”

    (I complete the transaction and wish him a wonderful afternoon with a large grin, despite his grumpy attitude. Half an hour later, he storms back into the store, demanding to talk to my manager.)

    Customer: “This d*** b**** sold me the wrong f****** credit! I want a refund! I am going to buy my credit card from the other f****** newsagent in the shopping centre!”

    (He continued to rant for another ten minutes before my manager realised it wasn’t worth the hassle and gave him a refund. Note: he did go to the other newsagent to buy his phone credit but I don’t think he realised it was the same franchise, with the same owners.)

    The Land Of The Free From Thought

    | USA | Bigotry, Geography

    (I am the manager at a discount department store, and one of our regular customers is a little bit flaky. She often talks to herself, repeating herself over and over.)

    Customer: “Where are you from? What country do you come from?”

    Me: “I was born in Colorado.”

    Customer: “You need to go back to your country at once. America is for Americans.”

    Me: “Colorado IS in America.

    Customer: “You must go back! You must go back! You must go back!”

    (She continues this ad nauseam until she finally leaves. A few weeks later she returns and purchases some items. Her total is $7.60 or so, and one of the coins she hands me is a Canadian quarter. I calmly inspect said quarter, and hand it back.)

    Me: “I can’t accept this coin. Here in America, we only accept AMERICAN currency. If you want to spend the Canadian currency, perhaps you should, you know, go back to Canada to do so.”

    (I haven’t had a problem with her since.)

    Time To Play The Trump Card

    | Canberra, ACT, Australia | At The Checkout, Technology, Themed Giveaway

    (I am at the register at work putting through a sale. The customer’s card has declined twice but instead of getting embarrassed or giving me another card like most people, this guy decides to get angry.)

    Customer: “No, I don’t want to use another card!”

    Me: “Then how would you like to pay sir? I do accept cash.”

    Customer: “This is ridiculous! Your machine is broken!”

    Me: “I assure you it isn’t broken. The person before you paid by card and it went through perfectly.”

    Customer: “Then you’re not doing your job!”

    Me: *losing the friendly retail face and looking him dead in the eye* “Sir, I’ve worked in retail for 10 years. I have bought goods and services for 15 years. I know how to use an eftpos machine. I cannot be held responsible for your card. Perhaps you should contact your bank on Monday?”

    (The customer leaves in a huff after throwing some cash at me.)

    Next Person In Line: “Jesus, what was HIS problem? It’s an eftpos machine, not a freakin’ tardis!”


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