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    The Final Cherry On Top

    | Interlochen, MI, USA | Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (I work at the retail store of an arts camp. Since the campus is about a half hour away from the annual Cherry Festival, we sell a number of cherry products. One of these was a bottle of cherry concentrate. It is about $20 for a 12 oz bottle. Being concentrate, not juice, you don’t drink it by itself. You take about a teaspoon of it and add it to water to make it into juice. Most people, though, think that it is just normal juice and so it doesn’t really sell well.)

    Camper #1: “What is this? Juice? Geez! Why would anyone buy juice for $20?”

    Camper #2: “THAT’S NOT JUICE!”

    Camper #1: “What? Isn’t it?”

    Camper #2: “NO! THAT IS CONCENTRATE! IF YOU DRINK IT BY ITSELF YOU WILL POOP FOREVER!”

    Some Parenting Choices Can’t Be Made Up

    | Yorkshire, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

    (I am stocking the make-up aisle in a large drug store. A customer is next to me trying on lipstick at the stand I am filling, with her three-year-old son sat on the floor next to her. I see him take the lid off a tube of foundation and raise it to his mouth.)

    Me: “Miss, you might want to stop your kid before he eats that. It won’t be good for him.”

    Customer: “Oh, yeah.”

    (Without looking away from the mirror she is using to try the lipstick, she pats the boy on the head.)

    Customer: “Don’t do that.”

    (The kid ate the foundation while his oblivious mother continued to test the products, and I moved away before I said something I’d regret.)

    Can’t Keep Count Of The Account

    | FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (This customer is part of a rewards program for the store and calls in immediately yelling with a list of complaints. He eventually says his main concern right now is that he got an email saying his password was being re-sent on the site and he didn’t want it to be.)

    Me: “Okay. Well, I can delete your registration and give you your account number which you can use to create a new registration with the same account, so all your info will still be there.”

    Customer: “I don’t have time for all of this or to go online. Can’t you just fix my password for me and I can hang up while you do it.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. It is against privacy laws for me to know your password. I cannot do that.”

    Customer: “Then get me someone who can. Do you know how many accounts and passwords I have? If I have to do this all the time how can I live?”

    Can’t Put A Dollar Value On Such Stupidity

    | Centereach, NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

    (I work in a store that only sells items for $1. There are signs that everything is only $1 all around. This customer came up to me and pointed to one of the products.)

    Me: “Can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, you can most certainly help me. I’m looking around and I don’t see any price tags.”

    Me: “You do know what store this is right?”

    Customer: “Yes, this is [Dollar Store Name] and I’d like to know the name of this product.”

    (I sighed and pointed to the sign that said that everything was a dollar.)

    Customer: “Well, why didn’t you just say that?”

    The Big Bang Was Not A One-Time Event

    | Lawton, OK, USA | Musical Mayhem, Technology

    (At the store a customer left their phone behind. Per store policy, we can hold the phone for the customer, but we can’t answer it if it rings, in case the customer then tries to claim that we either broke or tampered with it.)

    Coworker: “You look stressed.”

    Me: “I am!”

    Coworker: “Why?”

    Me: “Because the phone has the ENTIRE theme to The Big Bang Theory as the ringtone. And it won’t… stop… ringing…”

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