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    The Employee Is Always Wrong

    | Costa Mesa, CA, USA |

    Customer: “Excuse me, how much is this?”

    Me: “$99.00.”

    Customer: “But I get 20% off right?”

    Me: “Yes, with the coupon you do.”

    Customer: “Okay, so how much would that be?”

    Me: “Uhm… about $80.”

    Customer: “Really? Are you sure? Do the math again!”

    Me: “Okay, well technically it’s $79.20, but with tax it’ll bring you well over $80.”

    Customer: “That can’t be right. 20% off of $100 isn’t $80! Are you sure? Can I talk to a manager??”

    (Customer goes to speak to manager, and realizes that she’s the one who’s wrong when they do it at the cash register. She then leaves (after buying everything) and comes by to me)

    Customer: “You’re still wrong. It came out to be $79.20 before tax.”

    Me: *sigh*

    Well, That Came Out Of Nowhere

    , | California, USA | Top

    (Two middle-aged women walk into the store)

    Woman 1: “I need a guitar stand for my son.”

    Me: “Let me go grab one for you.”

    (I go into the back for a minute and return with the stand)

    Me: “They’re $18.95 plus tax.”

    Woman 2: “You’re an animal.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Woman 2: “You’re an animal. It’s a good thing.”

    Me: “Alright then.”

    Woman 2 (to Woman 1): “I don’t know why people always get confused when I tell them that…”

    Or Maybe Because You’re a Thief?

    | Massachusetts, USA |

    Pregnant Shoplifter whom the police were just called on: “You’re only doing this because I’m PREGNANT!!!”

    Delusional Hearingitis

    | San Francisco, CA, USA | Top

    (We close at 7:00 PM every Sunday; a couple was still shopping in my department at 7:13pm and we already gotten a call from security to tell them pretty much to get out)

    Me: “Ma’am, just to let you know we’re already closed. If you need to buy something please bring it to the counter now.”

    Customer: “Closed? what time do you guys close? It’s only 7:13!”

    Me: “We closed at 7:00.”

    Customer: “Honey, hurry up. They’re about to close. Who’s ever heard of a store that closes at 7:13pm, thats just so weird!”

    Me: “Ma’am, we closed 13 minutes ago; we’ve been closing at 7:00 for at least the past 6 years I’ve been here, and there’s nothing weird about that.”

    Customer: “Well I just thought that it would make more sense if you guys closed on an hour. Or at least least have an announcement if you guys are closing at some queer hour.”

    Me: “Ma’am, there were 4 announcements loud and clear before we closed.”

    Customer: “But why would you close a store at 7:13? That’s just queer, are you sure the store is even closed?”

    Me: “Again ma’am, we closed 13 minutes ago at 7:00, and yes I’m sure the store is closed–why would I be lying?”

    Customer: “I don’t know. *her boyfriend comes out of the fitting room* “Honey c’mon, let’s buy this stuff and get out of here. Can you believe they close the store at 7:20? Isn’t that just so weird?”

    Me: “7!! We CLOSED at 7 o’clock!!”

    Please, Tell Me About Myself

    , | Ontario, Canada |

    Customer (holding aloft pen): “How long will this pen last?”

    Me: “Depends how often you use it.”

    Customer: “How often is that?”

    (I really didn’t know what to say)

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