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    Customer To The Rescue

    | Boone, IA, USA | Top

    (I was currently working in the electronics section of a discount super store, who’s favorite color use to be blue, when I was approached by a customer, which was surprising since the state was being hit by a significantly large ice storm.)

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like to pick up my pictures.”

    Me: “Hmm…it seems they aren’t in yet, when did you send them out?”

    Customer: *very angry* “They were supposed to be in today!”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, but the lab where they are processed is hours away and its too dangerous for the drivers to be out on the roads today.”

    Customer: “Well I made it, how come they can’t?”

    Me: “Sir, you live on the street behind the building, which is a much shorter and safer distance compared to the over 120 miles the driver would have to drive, especially on roads that not even emergency vehicles won’t go onto.”

    Customer: “I was told my pictures were going to be back today, and I want them today!”

    (I’m about to apologize to the man but am beaten to the punch by the customer behind him…)

    Customer #2: “Yeah! You guys should have dog sleds on the side just in case.”

    Original Customer: “Don’t be ridiculous!”

    Customer #2: *in a very apologetic tone* “I’m sorry, I thought it was my turn to make insane demands.”

    Original Customer: *storms off talking to the air about how rude people are*

    Customer #2: “That was fun!” *walks away*

    (Unfortunately, I never got to thank that second customer. Wherever you are Customer #2, thank you.)

    We Need One Of These In Every Store

    The Joy Of Sex(ism), Part 2

    , | Akron, OH, USA |

    (I’m a girl, and I work in a video game store.)

    Dude: “Are you guys hiring?”

    Me: “No, we just let some people go actually.”

    Dude: “Oh, I assumed they were desperate. I mean, they hired a girl.”

    Me: “I’ve worked here for 3 years.”

    Dude: “Oh, well can I ask the manager anyway?”

    Me: “Sure, he’s standing right over there.” *points to next register*

    Manager: “Don’t even ask. You just insulted my assistant manager.”

    The Joy Of Sex(ism)

    The Great Doll Heist of ’08

    | Rochester, NY, USA |

    (I was working in the back, getting things ready for the next floor set, and I had to pull some mannequins from the floor and dress them. I was dragging one of the full body forms towards the back, when a customer approached me.)

    Her: “Excuse me, do you work here?”

    (Note that I’m wearing the uniform and I still have a headset in my ear.)

    Me: “No, ma’am, I’m stealing this mannequin.”

    Her: “Oh, okay. thanks.”

    (She turns around to find someone else to help her.)

    Can We Get Anymore Clueless?

    | Chicago, IL, USA |

    Customer: “I want to buy these pans that I saw on sale online.”

    Me: “Alright, ma’am, what brand are they?”

    Customer: “I don’t know that!”

    Me: “Okay…how much are they?”

    Customer: “I don’t know that either!”

    Me: “Do you perhaps have a photo of the pans?”

    Customer: “I didn’t have time to do that!”

    Me: “Alright ma’am, sometimes things sold online are not sold in store.”

    Customer: “”All I know is that they were at this store and they were different colors.”

    Me: “What colors were the pans?”

    Customer: “I don’t remember!”

    (I show her every pot and pan set that was a different color from the norm. E.g., orange, green and blue. Of course, that wasn’t what she wanted. She picks out an item that wasn’t even close to like she wanted in the first place. She goes to put the item in her cart, but she had lots of stuff in her cart and it doesn’t fit.)

    Customer: “What am I supposed to do, it doesn’t fit in my cart!”

    (she acted like it was my fault the stuff didn’t fit. I guess I was suppose to shrink the box for her.)

    Me: “Well ma’am, why don’t you take some stuff out. Put the big stuff on the bottom and the small stuff on the top.”

    Customer: *looks at me like a deer in the headlights*

    (I was paged to another area of the store and walked away from her. I’m sure I would have punched her otherwise.)

    Eau De Customer

    | Ontario, Canada |

    Customer: “Yo, I need some headphones!”

    Me: “Over by the windows are where we keep the headphones. Have a look and let me know if you have any questions.”

    Customer: “Well, which ones should I buy?”

    Me: “Well, I tend to recommend Sony. They’re a little pricier, but the sound quality and durability are far better.”

    Customer: “I got money! Hold on.” *pulls out a fat wad of cash and starts counting it* “One hundred, two hundred. Yeah, I think I got enough.”

    Me: *smelling booze off him and realizing he’s drunk* “So would you like to go with a Sony, then?”

    Customer: “You like my coat?”

    Me: “What? Um, yes, it’s a very nice coat.”

    Customer: “Smell it. It’s real leather. Here.” *holds out coat*

    Me: *trying not to laugh* “Sir, I do not want to smell your coat.”

    Customer: “C’mon it’s a nice coat. I paid 175 dollars for that s***, ON SALE!”

    Me: *hesitates, but smells the coat* “Yes. It’s a very nice coat. Did you want to go with a Sony then?” *I notice my coworkers beginning to laugh*

    Customer: “Maaaaaaaan. C’mon. I got this nice coat, this cash. Maybe if I take some skin off my nose and put it on my dick…” *stumbles around*

    Me: *walks away*

    Coworker:: “What did he say to you? I saw that he was bothering you, so I called security.” *phone rings*

    Me: “Hello?”

    Store Security: “Hey, this is store security checking in. I’ve been watching this guy over the security cameras.”

    Me: “It’s okay, he left. I think he was drunk.”

    Store Security: *sort of laughing* “Yeah yeah, I know. Um….. Did he ask you to smell his COAT?”

    Me: *laughing hysterically*

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