Salvation Vs. Business Savvy

| Tampa, FL, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I’m looking for a metal business card case.”

Me: “Well, we really only carry leather here – would you like me to show them to you?”

Customer: “No, it needs to be metal. Where can I get one?”

Me: “Well, I know of a place in the mall, but they market them as cigarette cases. If you just ask the man at the counter for one, he can–”

Customer: *interrupting* “I ain’t buying no cigarette case, I ain’t no smoker.”

Me: “Ma’am, I can assure you they’re not used or anything, it’s just that the original concept came from cigarette cases, and people adapted them into wallets.”

Customer: “Well, I ain’t buyin no cigarette case, so you best tell me where I can get a business card case.”

Me: “Ma’am, that’s the only place I know of. They’re the exact same product: a metal case with two prongs on the inside for–”

Customer: “I ain’t no heathen woman, and I ain’t gonna carry around no wicked cigarette box while I’m at church! Do you expect me to?!”

Me: “No ma’am, I just don’t think you’ll find one at that store if you’re asking for a business card case.”

Customer: “No, you WON’T!” *storms out*

Me: “…what?”

Why You Never, Ever Share Toothbrushes

| Dallas, TX, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “I need to return this toothbrush.”

Me: “Do you have a receipt?”

Customer: “No – I thought it would work.”

Me: “How did it not work?”

Customer: “Well, it said it had indicator bristles, and when I peed on them they didn’t change color! How is it supposed to indicate if I’m pregnant or not?!”

Me: “Ma’am…they’re to indicate whether the toothbrush needs replacing, not whether you’re pregnant.”

Customer: *looks sheepish and leaves*

Me: *to manager* “I’m going on break now…”

Customer Of The Week: Good Help

| Terrace, British Columbia, Canada | Old Comics

Customer Of The Week:  Good Help
Created by our friends at Quitting Time

Original Story

A Swing And A Miss

, | Saskatchewan, Canada | Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling ****. How may I direct your call?”

Caller: “Electronics, please.”

Me: “We’re an electronics store, ma’am. Could you be more specific?”

Caller: “Umm…just one moment.”

(She hangs up. Five minutes later, she calls back.)

Me: “Thank you for calling ****. How may I direct your call?”

Caller: “Electronics DEPARTMENT, please.”

Me: “…”

The Lesser Of Two Evils

| Canada | Uncategorized

Customer: *holding an ugly teapot* “The stuff on that shelf *pointing* is 75% off. Can I get this teapot for 75% off?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but that discount only applies to items that were damaged during shipping.”

Customer: “Look, I’m buying a lot of stuff here. I think I should get a discount on this teapot.”

Me: “But it’s not broken. You only get a discount if it’s broken.”

Customer: “You’re not being very helpful. You have to be able to do something for me here.”

Me: “I could take it into the stock room and smash it for you. Then I could sell it to you at the discounted price. I’m sure you could glue it back together when you get home.”

Customer: *thinking it over* “No…no, I don’t think so.”

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