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    Mmm, Pasty Nerds

    , | Exton, PA, USA | Top

    (A woman in her forties walks in…)

    Customer: “I’d like $5 worth of games for a Nintendo DS and the system itself. This should cover it all.”

    (The customer puts $20 on the counter.)

    Me: “I’m sorry. We don’t have any DS games for five bucks, and if you want a DS, you’re about sixty-five dollars short… $115 if you want a new one.”

    Customer: “…”

    Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

    Customer: “Toys’R'Us has them for $15. You should price match.”

    Me: “Ma’am, we do not price match here, and even if we did, I’m only a seasonal employee and wouldn’t likely be allowed to.”

    Customer: *screaming* “Let me speak to your manager!”

    Me: “Alright…”

    (I go to get manager from the back room. She explains the situation. BTW, I’m a woman myself.)

    Customer: “THIS IS DISCRIMINATION! YOU AREN’T GIVING ME FAIR TREATMENT BECAUSE I’M NOT A FAT, PASTY NERD THAT KNOWS THINGS LIKE YOU TWO! AND BECAUSE I’M A WOMAN!”

    Manager: “I’d like you to leave the store, please.”

    Customer: “FINE! NERDS!”

    The Customer Is Not Always Happy

    | Windsor, ON, Canada | Top

    Customer: “Since you don’t have the laptop in stock that I want, here’s what I want instead: a bag, a decent one, and a USB stick, at least a 4 gig but I’d prefer the 8. All for free.”

    Me: “Uh, I can’t do that.”

    Customer: “I thought it was about making the customer happy! I am not happy. You have to make me happy!”

    Me: “So, let me get this right. Since you’re not buying anything today, you want free stuff?

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “No.”

    Customer: “Well, this isn’t very good customer service at all. You guys say you run a business, but this is just s**t.”

    Me: “Well, I’m sorry you feel that way, but like you said, it’s a business. You don’t stay in business by giving things away!”

    Customer: *stalks off*

    Hopefully, He Doesn’t Look As Stupid As He Sounds

    | Bakersfield, CA, USA |

    Me: “Hi, how can I help you sir?”

    Customer: “Do you guys sell pallets?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t.”

    Customer: “… but there’s a whole bunch behind your store just sitting there.”

    Me: “Yes, but we reuse those. We don’t sell them.”

    Customer: “Well, is it illegal if I steal one of them?”

    Me: “Repeat what you just said to yourself.”

    Customer: *thinks for a second* “Oh.”

    It (Almost) Never Hurts To Check

    , | Baltimore, MD, USA | Top

    Customer: “Let me see that knife in the case.”

    Me: “Here ya go.”

    Customer: “I don’t think this knife is sharp enough.”

    Me: “Really? ”

    (The customer pulls the blade across his palm, slicing his hand open and spilling blood all over the floor.)

    Customer: “I guess it is.”

    Me: “Would you like some paper towels?”

    Oh Where, Oh Where Have My Role Models Gone

    | Parkersburg, WV, USA |

    Me: “How can I help you, ma’am?”

    Lady: “Yes, my daughter saw an ad for slip-n-slides in your store. I thought if you did have them, they’d be up here.”

    Me: “Um, no, we don’t have them.”

    Lady: “Ha! I knew it!”

    Me: “Yeah, we don’t have them here. Just small appliances up here.”

    Lady: “Yeah, my daughter is 12 years old, and she’s wrong. I can’t wait to tell her.”

    Me: “Heh… yeah.”

    Lady: “I can’t wait to rub it in her face. Mom’s right, and she’s wrong, FOR ONCE!”

    Me: *facepalm*

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