Preserving Life, 1-Up At A Time

, | California, USA | Top

(Note: Pokemon is a game with various creatures that simulate animals in it. When a Pokemon has no hit points, or HP, is is considered “fainted.” Many mistake this for something serious, but it is easily remedied by healing your Pokemon in a specific building.)

Customer: *storms up to desk* “I DEMAND A REFUND!”

(She slams a copy of Pokemon Platinum on the counter.)

Me: “Certainly, what seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “My freaking fire monkey DIED! See?”

(She pulls the DS from her pocket, turns it on, enters game, and shows me that her Pokemon [a chimchar] has no HP.)

Me: “Well, I can…erm…revive your ‘fire monkey’ if you’d like.”

Customer: “What are you, some freaking Pokemon priest?! MY FIRE MONKEY IS DEAD!”

Me: “No, no, look.”

(I control her character to go to a Pokemon Center and heal up her Pokemon.)

Me: “There, all better.”

Customer: “THANK YOU! YOU SAVED MY FIRE MONKEY! HOW CAN I EVER REPAY YOU?!”

Me: “Um…no problem, ma’am. Glad to help.”

Customer: “AND SO HUMBLE! YOU SAVED MY FIRE MONKEY!” *leaves store*

Watering Wonders

, | New York, NY, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi. I have a faucet in my backyard, and I can’t get the water to the other side.”

Me: “You need a hose…”

Customer: “What is that?”

Me: “You connect it to the faucet, and the water travels through the hose to the other side.”

Customer: “These inventions these days – they’re incredible!”

Me: “…”

More Than He Bargained For

, | Middletown, NY, USA | Uncategorized

(My father is manning tables at the local flea market. A man comes up to the table and picks out an item that’s priced at $8.)

Customer: “Will you take $6 for this?”

Dad: “Sure.”

(The man finds another item, this one priced at $5.)

Customer: “Will you take $4?”

Dad: “Sure.”

(After a while, the man finds another item, this time priced at $6.)

Customer: “$5?”

Dad: “Sure.”

(Finally, the man gathers all of his items together and winds up for the ultimate bargaining ploy.)

Customer: “How about $20 for all three?”

Dad: “Sure.”

(Dad was always an agreeable sort.)

Ah, Mothers, Part 2

, | Fort Worth, TX, USA | Uncategorized

(I overhear the following conversation as I’m stocking crafts; it’s a forty-something mother and her teenage daughter.)

Mother: “… okay, we need beads.”

Daughter: “Just make it fast.”

Mother: “Don’t take that attitude with me.”

Daughter: “I don’t know why I go anywhere with you!”

Mother: “Oh, look! Gift boxes! With Rudolph on them!”

Daughter: “Mom, be quiet. Just shut up… please.”

Mother: “Look! Rudolph! You see Rudolph?”

Daughter: “Mom, shut up! Can we leave?”

Mother: “It’s just so godd**n a** f**king cute!”

Daughter: *rolls her eyes and stomps off*

Related:
Ah, Mothers
Mom In A Thong: Wrong
A Mother’s Love

It’s A Low Maintenance Affair

| Cleveland, OH, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Happy Holidays! How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Well, I need two gifts.”

Me: “Okay, who are you shopping for and what did you have in mind?”

Customer: “I need one for my wife, and one for my girlfriend. I got them the same thing last year, so we can just do that again.”

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